The Shadows Growing Tall
by butterflie
Summary: Noctis had always known that someday, he'd be fated to have the Crystal slowly steal away his life force, just as it had stolen his dad's. He just hadn't expected it to be so soon. Or to happen without the Ring of the Lucii. Gen, spoilers, fix-it fic. A fill for the FFXV Kink Meme.
1. Prologue

This is a fill for a prompt on the FFXV Kink Meme on dreamwidth. The prompt is "Anytime any of the guys use powers from the crystal, like materializing a weapon or using a spell, drains Nocts' life force. Noct however tries to hide it from them for as long as possible til he ends up collapsing in battle. Bonus for Noct coughing up blood but trying to play it off as nothing serious."

I kind of took it and ran with it. It's a bit of a slow build, and there's so much other angst besides the Crystal, but it'll get there.

Also, the title of the fic comes from Kamelot's _Insomnia_ , on their album _Haven_ , released in 2015. I highly encourage everyone to go listen to it, or at least read the lyrics.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _prologue_

* * *

It starts happening the day Insomnia falls.

Noctis doesn't notice it right away. He's in too much shock, unable to process that he no longer has a city, a home to return to, a _father_. There's a good chance that the hundreds of people he once saw daily in and about the Citadel no longer have life—the Citadel _itself_ doesn't exist now, and that's a dizzying thought, one that he can't seem to wrap his head around. How could everything have gone so wrong? He was going to Altissia to marry Luna just like Niflheim wanted, they were supposed to finally have _peace_. He stares blankly at Ignis, his eyes glassy with disbelief. They're all asking him if he wants to turn back, but all he can wonder is, _what's the point_? He agrees regardless, because he doesn't know what else to do.

A crazy thought enters his head then: maybe his dad's not really dead. Maybe he's escaped and in hiding, or the newspapers simply have it wrong. Neither thing is an impossibility, and it's better than thinking about the alternative.

He brushes off the concerned looks and words his companions give him, slightly buoyed by the desperate hope he's clinging to, and it's not long before they're all heading back to Insomnia, to the Crown City Checkpoint they'd left from just a few days—now a lifetime—before. He has to see for himself. He has to _know_ whether it's true.

The sight of all the soldiers at the checkpoint makes Noctis swallow hard. It should be the men and women of the Crownsguard up there, manning the booths and waving people in and out of the city. That Niflheim is there instead, that there are MTs with guns and _axes_ , of all things, causes bile to rise up in his throat. He barely has a moment to take in the sickening sight, though, for Ignis is pulling off the road onto a small dirt path, the one that forks off to the small reservoir he used to sneak off to and fish at sometimes when he'd been younger. If he remembers correctly, the other way leads to a hill that overlooks a good portion of the entrance to the city.

As soon Ignis stops the car, he jumps out and takes off running, not having the patience to wait on the others. When he pulls a sword out to take down some lurking MTs around the corner, he feels a slight _tug_ at his core, and frowns. He's always been aware of a sense of power lurking in the shadows any time he's pulled one of his weapons from the Armiger, a faint whisper across his consciousness. The very first time Noctis had successfully accessed the arsenal, his dad had told him the sense of power was the Crystal, judging his worth to use the arsenal and finding him acceptable. It had been a strange sensation, but after a time Noctis had become used to it, and soon found it to be... familiar, if not really comforting. This time, however, feels different. He's never experienced a _tug_ before.

Yet it's such a fleeting moment, and he doesn't have the time to focus on it. He chalks it up to distress making him feel off and redirects his attention to the battle ahead. Tossing his sword, he warps after it, using his body weight to force the MT down on the ground as he drives the sword into its skull. Fluid that is decidedly not blood—and it's still weird, despite knowing the MTs aren't human—leaks out onto his hands, but he ignores it, already up and warping to the next MT.

Once they reach the hill, the fragile hope Noctis has been holding onto shatters as Cor confirms the truth, the finality in his voice evident even through the phone. He stares out at the city that's no longer his, barely aware of the light rain drizzling around them as his thoughts swirl frantically about his mind. He has no idea what to do next. Behind him, he knows the others are waiting for him to give an order, to tell them what to do, but all he can think about is how much he really wants to fall apart.

In the wake of Cor's phone call and everything that happens afterwards, Noctis doesn't think about the slight tug again for some time.

* * *

I haven't actually finished writing this fic yet, but I've been outlining it, and it's currently up to chapter eight. Because of school it might be a bit slow, but right now I see no reason I won't finish it.


	2. chapter one

I went ahead and added this now because the prologue is so short. And now enjoy 3K words of Noct angst that has nothing to do with the Crystal :D

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter one_

* * *

"Finally!" Noctis groans as he flops face-down onto one of the beds of their newly booked motel room, burying his head into one of the pillows. It's not as soft as his old bed back in the Citadel, or even the one in his apartment, but it sure beats the hard ground they've been camping on for the last few days.

It's been four days since Insomnia's fallen to the Niflheim Empire, and this is the first time the four of them have been able to truly stop _going_ and just rest. The first day had admittedly been a bit of a blur to Noct, after learning the truth of the attack, but he remembers meeting up with Cor and being taken to a Royal Tomb. He can't recall all of his words, but he remembers some of the anger he'd felt at his dad leaking through his tightly held control. He'd nearly broken down then, but instead he'd reached out a hand, taking the Royal Arm within him. That's the only part of the day he remembers with perfect clarity—the oddly painless stabbing feeling as the sword flew through his body, circling around him before disappearing into the Armiger, and then the unsettling sensation of new power flowing through him, the shadow of the Crystal shifting, assessing him, deeming him worthy with an indistinct murmur as it lit his chest with a brief glow.

He'd been emotionally drained afterwards, and he thinks they'd headed back over to the outpost then, to plan and prepare for what came next. He _knows_ they'd spent the next two days going through that Six-forsaken cave in the ruins of Keycatrich Trench, trying to find the Royal Tomb that Cor had hinted was there. It had been a nightmare. They were all on edge still, worrying about their homes, about who was alive or dead, about what would come after. Crawling through a dark, damp, daemon-filled cave was not a good way to calm down. Especially with Prompto freaking out over every unusual noise. Noctis loves his best friend, and he knows Prompto still mostly has the mindset of a civilian despite Cor's training, but he really needs Prompto to adjust soon, or at least learn how to keep his panic internal.

And then they'd barely left that cave when Cor had been calling him with yet another task. They'd managed to grab a couple of hours rest back at the outpost, but then they were up and heading out to meet Cor, and taking down an Imperial Base. Noctis had thought they'd finally have a break after that, but Ignis had insisted on heading straight out for Lestallum, and then Prompto had wanted to see the chocobo ranch before they left the area, and because Noctis has a hard time saying no to him, they'd found themselves tracking and fighting a giant Behemoth a few hours later. They'd been so exhausted afterwards that they'd wound up camping at a nearby haven, rather than deal with the hour long trek back through the woods to reach the ranch again.

That had been yesterday. Today, they had been on the road most of the day. They _would_ have been in Lestallum right now, except that Prompto had read the map wrong, so now they're somehow at a motel in Taelpar. Ignis had been quietly aggravated when he'd realised they were going the wrong way, but Noct can't really be all that mad, if he's honest with himself. He's not sure he's ready to meet up with Iris and hear first-hand about the attack on Insomnia.

"Who's up for some greasy diner food?" Prompto asks cheerfully from the other bed, breaking into Noct's musing.

"I could go for a burger right about now," Gladio admits, somewhat gruffly. Noct can tell his irritation with Prompto hasn't completely faded, but he seems to be willing to try and let it go. Noct's glad—he's been irritable enough for all of them the past few days.

"Iggy? Noct?" Prompto asks, when neither of them seem inclined to say anything.

Ignis sighs, sounding rather put-upon. "I suppose we can afford a burger just this once."

Noctis groans again, even as Prompto jumps up, pumping an excited fist in the air. "Just bring me something back." Now that he's laying down, the thought of getting back up, even for food, just seems like too much effort.

Ignis looks at him in sudden concern, adjusting his glasses. "Are you feeling unwell?"

Noct slowly shakes his head, and hopes that it comes off lazy rather than exhausted. "Nah. Just tired. You guys go ahead, I'll rest."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, _Mom_ , I'll be fine," he says, waving his hand at the other man.

"Very well," Ignis says, though he still sounds reluctant. "We'll have our phones, text one of us if you have need of us."

Gladio rolls his eyes, grabbing Ignis' arm and pulling him towards the door. "Listen to the kid, he'll be fine."

"I'll bring you back a burger, Noct," Prompto says happily.

Noct lifts a hand to acknowledge Prompto, and sighs once they're gone, snuggling deeper into the bed. He thinks about pulling his shoes off and climbing under the covers, but ultimately decides it's more effort than he's got in him at the moment. He doesn't understand why he's feeling _this_ worn out. He loves sleep, he'll be the first to admit that, but he's never before been so tired that he'll actually choose it over food, especially greasy diner food that Ignis rarely ever lets him have.

But then, living in Insomnia, the roughest days he's ever had were just a few hours worth of training with Gladio. Fighting in actual battles is turning out to be _very_ different, so it makes sense that he's not used to that high level of physical activity yet. Plus they've all been running on adrenaline and urgency the past few days... his is just catching up to him now. He just needs to get some sleep, and then he'll be fine in the morning. He'll get used to the battles soon enough. He's sure of it.

x x x

They decide to take the next day to rest. Ignis and Gladio huddle in the chairs in the corner of the room, going through their supplies and counting out gil and mumbling to each other every now and then as they make plans. Prompto sits on the end of the bed Noct's laying on, tapping at his phone every now and then. The cheerful background tune is that of King's Knight, and would normally have Noctis pulling out his own phone, but for once he's not in the mood.

It feels unusual, to be spending the day lazing about the motel after so many days of non-stop running around. Noctis isn't ungrateful, exactly—he still feels worn out—but it doesn't seem right, to be relaxing like this with everything going on. They should be pushing onward, heading to Lestallum, so that they can meet up with Iris. He knows Gladio's been anxious about her, to see her with his own eyes and reassure himself that she's truly okay. And it would be good to have possible word of who else managed to survive the attack. They don't have any word on Clarus, or Ignis' uncle (who Noct has always just called Mr. Scienta, the rare times he's seen him, because he can never remember the man's name), though Noct isn't very hopeful for either of them, as much as the thought pains him. Mr. Scienta is the only family Ignis has left, and Clarus... Clarus has been rather like an uncle to Noctis. It feels just as alien to think about Clarus being dead as it does his dad.

He feels his throat tighten, and rolls over in the bed, putting his back to the others. He still can't wrap his mind around everything that's happened. It's not hard to guess that this was Niflheim's plan all along, a way for them to finally steal the Crystal away to their own kingdom, but... it still hurts. He'd truly believed they were finally going to have peace, and be left alone. To know that it was all just a sham...

And his dad had known. That's what hurts Noct the most. His dad had _known_ those Nif bastards had no intention of signing the peace treaty, and had likely suspected he wouldn't survive, and he hadn't said one word to Noct. Had sent him away, instead, just so that he could live. _Why?_ Why hadn't he done something else—tried to fight, rejected the peace treaty, hid the Crystal, _come with Noct_?

He feels tears stinging at his eyes, and blinks rapidly, doing his best to will them away. He doesn't want to cry where the others can hear. All of them have heard him cry before, at one time or another, but it still leaves him feeling embarrassed and weak. Even if he has good reason this time, he doesn't want them to see him this way. He can feel the pressure building in his chest though, the intense ache of grief as his mind ruminates on all the could-have-beens. Noct rolls back over and stands up, the movement sudden. He's got to get out of here, before he breaks down. He quickly throws on his boots and jacket, ignoring the curious looks of his friends.

"Going for a walk," he manages to say around the lump in his throat, not daring to look at them.

"You want company, dude?" Prompto asks, idly tapping away at his phone still.

He shakes his head, pulling open the door. "No."

Noctis doesn't have any destination in mind, but after spotting a door at the end of the hall that's ajar and following the stairs up, he soon finds himself on the roof of the motel. He heads toward an edge and sits down, letting his legs dangle off the building as he stares out absently over the small town. His thoughts are still stuck on his dad. Logically, he understands why his dad wouldn't flee with him—a king can't just abandon his people, or his lands. At least, a good king wouldn't. And his dad had always strove to be the best king he could be. He cared for the people of Insomnia dearly, Noct has known that from a young age. It had been frustrating at times, as Noct had grown up, to watch his dad put his people before himself time and time again. He used to constantly wish that his dad would be a little more selfish.

But now, knowing that his dad _has_ acted selfish for once, in saving Noct and Noct's closest friends... it doesn't feel at all good. It just hurts. He doesn't stop the tears this time, letting them flow freely down his cheeks, uncomfortably dampening his face and neck. He can feel sobs gathering and tries to suppress them, but when one finally claws its way out of his throat, he gives up and lets them come. He's so angry at his dad, but more than that, he just _misses_ him. He's had to spend years watching the Crystal slowly drain away at his dad's life force, knowing that one day it would eventually kill his dad and he'd have to become king, but he'd always imagined his dad dying in his sleep, had imagined that he'd know when it was going to happen, and have time to come to terms with it. He's never once imagined waking up one morning and finding that his dad is just suddenly _gone_ , no goodbye, no warning. Even if he can somehow manage to go back to Insomnia and reclaim the throne in the name of Lucis Caelum, he'll never get to see his dad again. There is always going to be this hollow void in his chest that his dad's presence once filled.

He thinks back to the morning he'd left Insomnia, to the impatience he'd felt when he'd started descending the steps to the Citadel and heard Drautos' call behind him. All he could think to say when he'd seen his dad coming out was, _what now_? He'd barely had time to listen to his dad's words, ready to just get on the road and get closer to getting his wedding over with. He'd rushed, knowing Cor was waiting on them. More sobs tear out of him. He wishes now that he could go back in time, do it all over again, not be in such a hurry to leave. He'd say more to his dad, tell him how much his dad means to him...

 _Once you set forth, you cannot turn back. I need only know that you are ready to leave home behind._ His dad had said that to him, that morning on the steps. Noctis couldn't have known then, what he'd really meant. But he knows now, and he desperately wants to transfer the knowledge to his past self, to have picked up on what his dad was saying, to somehow change the outcome of what happened.

He hears footsteps behind him and tenses, knowing it has to be one of the others. He hurriedly wipes at his face, though it's a futile effort, as fresh tears simply replace the old ones. Someone settles down to his right, and a glance from the corner of his eye tells him it's Prompto. Figures. His best friend rarely ever lets him wallow alone in his sadness.

Prompto's quiet for awhile, not saying anything, and the only sound to be heard is Noct's harsh sobs. He feels ashamed that Prompto's hearing them, but doesn't try to stifle them. He hadn't known how much he'd needed to cry until now. Eventually, however, they lessen on their own, as Noctis grows weary from his display of sorrow. Only when his breathing turns into shuddering, shaky sighs does Prompto lean into him, tipping his head against the hollow of Noct's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," Prompto murmurs. There's nothing but empathy in his voice, and it's almost enough to make Noct come undone again. He reaches his hand out, seeking, and Prompto meets him, curling his fingers into Noct's, giving what comfort he can.

"I miss him," he admits hoarsely, leaning his own head against Prompto's. "I still can't believe he's... It doesn't feel real."

"That's not surprising," Prompto says softly. His voice is serious, lacking the usual humour and cheerfulness he often employs. "It was a shock, to all of us, and we've hardly had time to stop and process everything. It probably won't feel real for awhile."

Noct closes his eyes briefly, struggling against renewed tears. "I just... why couldn't he have told me? He knew what was going to happen."

"Noct... would you have left, if he had?"

He wants to say yes. Wants to tell Prompto that of course he'd still leave, that he'd trust in his dad's judgement. But he was just thinking of all the things his dad could have done other than stay behind and be slaughtered while sending Noct away to safety, and he knows he can't lie. "No," he says honestly.

Prompto sighs, his hand tightening on Noct's. "Dude... I know it bothered you that your dad was always busy doing king stuff, and couldn't always have time for you, but even though I never got to meet him much, I know your dad loved you. And when he sent you away to Altissia, to _safety_ , he wasn't being a king, Noct. He was being a dad. A dad that was protecting his son the best way he could think of."

He can't help it—hearing Prompto's words make the fresh tears spill over. And he doesn't miss the slight bit of yearning in his best friend's tone either, and that makes him feel even more terrible. Prompto doesn't even know if his parents are alive or not, or if they'd care enough to let him know they were okay. Noct's dad may be gone, but at least he's not in the dark, left wondering with no way to know.

He lets go of Prompto's hand abruptly, and twists his body sideways, flinging his arms around Prompto in a tight hug. Prompto squeaks, caught off guard, but he doesn't hesitate to turn and hug Noctis back. It's strange, somewhat—there's been a few times where Prompto has hugged Noct in excitement, but they've all been brief, a fleeting flurry of arms squeezing him before disappearing. Noct has never initiated a hug, and they've certainly never had one to last this long.

It's nice, though. The weight of Prompto against him is reassuring, and though one hug isn't a cure for his grief, it helps soothe it, just a little. He pulls away, swiping a hand across his eyes and ignoring the blush he can feel creeping up his neck. "Sorry," he mutters, glancing at his best friend in apology.

Prompto smiles sadly at him. "Don't be," is all he says.

They fall silent, and Noctis looks out over the town again, paying more attention to it this time. Even though it's somewhere between two and three on a Friday afternoon, the town is mostly still. There's been one car to drive through the main road, and two women that have walked from the motel across the street to the diner, but there's been no other movement. There's not even a hint of wind in the air, and the heat from the sun hangs about them, heavy and stifling. The sky is startlingly blue, a few fluffy white clouds dotting the expanse here and there. It's so different from Insomnia, and it makes him homesick.

Suddenly he doesn't want to be outside anymore. He gets to his feet, offering a hand to Prompto, who takes it without question. "Let's go back in," he says, and Prompto nods agreeably.


	3. chapter two

We're slowly starting to get somewhere. Thanks for all the follows and faves, and reviews. I'm glad people are enjoying this story.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter two_

* * *

"Rise and shine, Noct! We've got a busy day ahead of us."

Noctis groans, burying his head underneath his pillow as he burrows deeper into the covers, hoping to drown out the annoying sound of Ignis' voice. He doesn't have a clue what time it is, but when it's Ignis, it's always too early.

"Come now, none of that," Ignis says, yanking the covers off of him. Noct whines and curls up into a ball, groping around in a futile effort for the blankets Ignis has stolen. After a few moments of finding nothing but air, he gives up, and simply lays on the bed, shivering at the loss of warmth. "If you're cold, a shower will warm you up."

Noctis whines again, deep in his throat. He's tired, and still a bit drained from his emotional breakdown of yesterday, though he does feel a bit better mentally for it. "Just one more hour, Specs..." His voice is muffled by the pillow, but he knows Ignis will understand him anyway. It's a familiar if old routine, one that used to be carried out daily while he was still in high school.

"I'm afraid not. We don't have the time to waste, today."

"He's not gonna leave you alone 'til you get up, Noct," Prompto's voice chimes in as the bed sinks down with sudden added weight. "And neither am I." A finger pokes at his cheek, and Noctis swipes his hand at it, with yet more whines accompanying the movement. Why can't they just let him _sleep_.

"Go 'way," he grumbles.

"Nope," Prompto says cheerfully, poking him again. Noctis growls, and rolls over, away from Prompto's sharp fingernail.

Ignis sighs. "You leave me no choice," he says, and one minute later the loud, annoying trill of the alarm on Ignis' cell phone is going off, right next to Noct's face where Ignis had set the phone down. Noct's had plenty of practice though, and he's able to ignore the noise with ease. He even starts to doze off again, especially now that Prompto's not poking his cheek.

"Noooooct," Prompto says, but Noctis only half registers it.

"Enough of this," Gladio's voice rumbles. Noct pays no attention to it, until suddenly he feels himself being lifted in the air. He lets out an undignified squawk, eyes flying open to see that Gladio's holding him bridal-style, grinning at the indignant look on his face. "Good morning, Princess."

"Put me down!" Noctis commands, shoving at Gladio's chest. It's like pushing against a brick wall though, and his Shield doesn't react, other than for his grin to grow wider.

"You sure about that?"

"Yes!" Noctis snaps. He looks down at the bed, anticipating being returned to it, but instead Gladio lowers him to the floor, feet first, and Noct has no choice but to stand, unless he wants to crumple onto the rough carpet beneath him.

Ignis retrieves his phone, finally turning the alarm off. "Perhaps a shower will make you feel better," he tells Noct. He keeps his expression neutral, but Noct can see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Noct scowls and turns away to grab some fresh clothes, grumbling rude things under his breath about all three of his so-called friends. He trudges over to the bathroom and shuts the door on them, ignoring the laughter that erupts as soon as the lock clicks.

x x x

Ignis has decided that their day is to be spent doing hunts. Noct is surprised they're not heading for Lestallum straight away, but when he gets a look at the near empty gas gauge on the Regalia and the few crumpled gil notes in Ignis' hand, he understands. They take a look at the available bounties during breakfast at the diner across the street, settling on a few that don't seem too far away or too difficult.

Rather than waste the last bit of fuel the Regalia has, they rent some chocobos and make their way to the first hunt they've chosen for the day, a trio of dualhorns that have been wreaking havoc on the local wildlife. Noct makes a few token complaints about not being able to take the car, but truthfully he doesn't mind. The day is sunny and bright, more of the fluffy clouds from yesterday floating gently through the sky, and there's a light breeze that swirls the heat lazily around them. The scenery is also pleasing to the eye, endless fields of bright green grass that disappear into the horizon, though they eventually give way to large jutting rocks and trees with thick, luscious leaves filling their branches. Noct hates to admit it, but even Insomnia's nicest parks can't compare to the natural lands of Duscae.

The ride isn't too long, perhaps forty minutes, and they hear their quarry long before they see the beasts. Noctis quietly calls the chocobos to a halt, climbing off the birds and sneaking up behind some rocks nearby. They can all hear the dualhorns grunting and pawing at the ground, and Noctis motions silently at Prompto, miming the shot of a gun. Prompto nods to show he understands, and then pulls his weapon from the Armiger.

The resulting _tug_ at his magic core is instantaneous, and makes him frown. He can recall feeling the same sensation the day of Insomnia's attack, but it's so faint and fleeting that he can't find the words to describe it. He's not even sure he's not imagining it. Then Prompto's up and firing, and they're all charging forward, pulling out weapons and jumping into the fray and Noct doesn't have time to think about it. He's too busy worrying about not dying.

The fight is difficult, though not beyond their abilities. The dualhorns are strong, and have tough hides. Noctis tries his sword at first, and quickly realises he won't get anywhere. He catches sight of Ignis jabbing his lance into the flank of one of the beasts, drawing first blood, and quickly pulls his own lance out of the Armiger, right as a dualhorn begins to charge him. He hurriedly flings his body to the side, narrowly missing being trampled to death.

Half an hour later, all three dualhorns are dead, and Noctis tiredly returns his weapon to the arsenal after hastily cleaning off the blood.

"That was rather more difficult than expected," Ignis comments blithely, and Noctis just grunts.

"Next one will be just as hard," Gladio says. "A pack of coeurls, they keep sneaking into the town at night and terrorising the locals."

Noct groans. "Great."

"Didn't they have a couple coeurls in the zoo, back home? My parents took me once, when I was younger," Prompto says, and Gladio snorts in amusement.

"Those were tame," he says. "Trust me, these won't be anything like the ones in the zoo. They'll rake you wide open with their claws before you even get a chance to say 'nice kitty' to them."

Prompto tries for a grin, though it comes out a bit sickly looking. "Duly noted."

Noctis pulls out the chocobo whistle and blows it, cutting off their conversation. "Let's get going," he says. His knee's aching, and he just wants to get off his feet for a little bit.

Their second hunt turns out to be a good distance away, at least according to their map. An hour and a half later, and they've still seen no sign of the coeurls they're supposed to be hunting. However, after another twenty minutes they stumble across an unmarked haven, and decide to stop for an early lunch. It's old, the stone cracked and crumbling, and the runes fading, their glow dull, but as they don't intend to camp overnight, it should serve as a safe enough spot for them to eat.

All of Ignis' cooking gear is still packed away in the trunk of the Regalia, but he's well prepared as usual, having packed them sandwiches he'd put together before they'd left. He'd even managed to remember some last-minute greens for the chocobos.

"These are good, Iggy!" Prompto says with a cheerful smile after nearly choking on the too-large bite of his sandwich he'd taken.

"It's nothing special," Ignis replies, affecting modesty, but they can all tell he's pleased by the compliment.

Noct looks around the clearing as they eat. It's secluded, a small open area surrounded by trees, set far back from the road and miles from any town—it's easy to see why the haven has been abandoned, and taken off the map. Not too far off, he spots the red glow of an elemental deposit. "Hey Iggy. These things got any elemental weaknesses?"

"They're rumoured to not like fire, though that's just a guess made by some hunters," Ignis answers him, looking intrigued. "Are you thinking to try magic?"

Noctis shrugs. "There's a deposit over there," he says, indicating with his free hand, "and we've got some flasks free. Can't hurt to try, right?"

"Indeed."

Noct crams the last bit of sandwich in his mouth, and then hops down from the haven, heading over to the deposit. He hastily swallows the lump of food in his mouth and then reaches out a hand to absorb the fire elementals into his magic core. It takes more effort to do than he remembers from training with his dad, though he's never drawn from natural deposits before. Maybe they're meant to be more difficult. Or maybe he's just misremembering. It _has_ been a few years.

He quickly prepares a few spells, giving two flasks to Ignis and one to Gladio, keeping one for himself. Prompto looks a little crestfallen at being left out, and Noctis gives him a look of apology. They haven't yet had time to teach Prompto how to pull on Noct's magic in order to activate the flasks. Maybe when they get to Lestallum they'll be able to.

"We leaving?" Gladio asks, as Ignis gathers up their trash and stuffs it back into his pack.

In response, Noct climbs onto his chocobo, looking impatiently back at his companions. He wants to get the hunts over with so they can get back to the motel and he can maybe rest some before Ignis insists on them leaving to Lestallum. Grief for his dad has also started creeping in again, a painful lump in his throat when he remembers his dad patiently showing him how to craft spells, and sleep seems like as good a way as any to avoid those memories.

It turns out to be another half hour's ride to the area where the coeurls have holed up. There's no chance for a sneak attack this time, as they're nearly on top of the big cats before they realise they've found them. They quickly dismount their chocobos, calling up their weapons. There's another faint _tug_ , but Noct dismisses it, too busy immediately attacking their prey.

It's an even tougher battle than the last one. The coeurls are light on their feet, dodging Noct's attacks and counterattacking him with ease. He also soon learns to keep well clear of their long, tendril-like whiskers, especially once they start glowing with an electric charge, feeling his skin sting and crackle painfully when one lands. By the time they've taken two of the five cats out, Noctis is exhausted, sweat rolling down his back and making his shirt sticky with it, clinging uncomfortably to his skin. He crouches behind a rock for a quick breather, looking around to see how the others are faring.

They don't look much better than he feels. Gladio's muscle shirt is completely soaked through, and it's obvious that Prompto's flagging, his movements slowing. Ignis looks composed as usual, but Noct can see the exhaustion in the slump of Ignis' shoulders. He watches with curiosity as Ignis backs a few paces away from the battle, and then pulls a magic flask out. He undoes the stopper, and then draws on Noct's magic to activate it as he takes aim and tosses the spell towards the coeurls with a shouted warning to Gladio and Prompto.

It's impossible for Noctis to dismiss it this time. The second Ignis draws on his magic, Noct feels it. The tugging sensation on his core, more insistent than the times before, and oddly uncomfortable. It feels as if someone's reaching in and grabbing a hold of his magic core and trying to yank a small piece away but not quite succeeding. It isn't _actually_ painful, but he has the sense that it could be, if just a little more pressure were applied.

He doesn't like it. And he likes even less that he doesn't understand what's causing it.

"Hey, Princess!" Gladio calls. "Quit cowering behind that rock and come help us!"

"I'm not cowering!" Noct snarls at him, but he stands and tosses his sword towards one of the coeurls, warping after it. The resulting damage to the beast is satisfying, but almost not worth it. The pull on his core _is_ painful this time, and leaves him dizzy and gasping for breath. He can only assume he's warped too soon after Ignis' spell—his magic isn't an unlimited source after all, and can be easily overtaxing when he's not used to using it.

A third one goes down a short while later, but the last two are stubbornly refusing to die. In frustration, Gladio pulls out his own flask, barely taking the time to aim before opening and activating it. Noct's in the middle of dodging lashing whiskers, and the sensation as Gladio draws from his core makes him stumble, leaving him wide open to get hit. He yelps at the resulting sting, rolling out of the way.

"You alright, buddy?" Prompto asks, coming over to him and helping him up.

Noctis nods, tiredly. "Yeah."

He's starting to think the weird feelings on his core have to do with their use of his magic, with using the spells. Deciding to test it, he pulls out his own flask, climbing up on a rock to get a good vantage point for throwing—he's not as tall as Ignis or Gladio and could use the boost, as much as the thought annoys him. "Fire incoming!" he shouts, warning his companions as he activates and tosses it. The feeling he gets is unmistakable. It's definitely his magic.

Great.

x x x

By the time they make it back to the motel that evening, Noctis is so worn out he can barely keep himself upright. They'd had one more hunt after the coeurls, but it had been in the completely opposite direction, so they'd spent another few hours backtracking to the motel and then heading to the area where the hundlegs had been spotted. He'd felt the odd tugs on his core a few more times during the last battle, but he'd been tired enough that he hadn't been able to focus on them, or pinpoint what was causing them. He still thinks it's something to do with his magic, even though no one had used any spells. All he can really guess is that whatever is going amiss with his magic, it's still affecting him. Like some sort of weird aftershocks, perhaps.

He doesn't really know what to do about it, except hope that it eventually goes away. Perhaps he's just got to build himself up to using magic regularly, and then he'll be fine. Or maybe if he uses it _less_ for awhile, it'll somehow fix itself. He admittedly likes that idea better, because he doesn't want to subject himself to that sensation any more than he has to.

He has trouble keeping his eyes open during their dinner at the diner, and can only finish half his burger. He pushes his fries over to Prompto, but his best friend frowns, shaking his head. "No thanks, dude," he says, and Noctis belatedly remembers that for all his love of junk food, Prompto rarely indulges in it, too worried about gaining back the weight he'd worked so hard to lose all those years ago. Noctis pushes them over to Gladio instead, and his Shield takes them with a grin and thanks.

He pushes away his plate with his still half-eaten burger, and rests his head down on the table, folding his arms for a pillow.

"Are you unwell?" Ignis asks him, concern lacing his tone.

"Tired," Noct answers, not bothering to lift his head. "These all day battles are killer..." Though it doesn't seem fair that the others don't appear to be nearly as tired as he is.

To that, Ignis makes a worried hum, but holds his tongue. It suits Noctis just fine. He's not up for conversations, or badly mangled explanations about something he hasn't figured out himself. He lets himself drift off into sleep, only waking when Gladio reaches across the table and shakes him roughly.

He sits up slowly, blinking the fuzziness from his eyes and taking a sip of his now watered-down soda to get the sandpaper out of his mouth. "What?" he asks in confusion.

"We're leaving, Noct," Gladio says, frowning at him. Noctis nods at him, not missing the worried glance he trades with Ignis. Or the fact that Gladio used his real name instead of 'Princess' or something equally dumb, which Gladio only does when he's concerned. He doesn't know why they're so worried, though. He just needs some sleep.


	4. chapter three

I kind of feel like this is a boring chapter, but you know, whatever. It's necessary.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter three_

* * *

Noct falls asleep on the way to Lestallum. It's completely an accident, and he's pretty sure he was in the middle of a conversation with Prompto, but his best friend is polite enough to not say anything about it when Noct wakes again.

"How long was I out?" he asks with a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It's almost infuriating how _tired_ he still feels.

Ignis glances at him in the rear-view mirror briefly, meeting his eyes. Noctis can see the concern reflected, and tries not to grimace at it, ignoring the little stab of guilt. "About two hours," Ignis answers. "We have another hour on the road before we reach Lestallum."

Prompto turns around in his seat to face both Noctis and Gladio, leaning over the headrest with a grin on his face. "Feel up to having your asses kicked in King's Knight?"

Gladio snorts. "You only wish."

Noct returns his best friend's grin, pulling his phone from his pocket. "You're on," he says. With luck the game will keep him awake until they reach Lestallum and he can _move_ again. It's all too easy to be lulled to sleep in the Regalia, what with the comfortable seating and the quiet purr of the engine. And then of course, Noct can sleep just about anywhere. There's always that.

x x x

The earth shakes outside the Leville, making Noctis nearly lose his footing. Before he can question the earthquake, however, a painful throbbing starts up in his head, a steady beat just over his left eye. He scrunches his face up, bringing his hand towards his head. There's a jumbled flash of images in his mind then—a face that almost looks as if it's been carved from stone, and an eye, red and burning as bright as the sun. He shakes his head, and the images are gone, but the movement makes the throbbing intensify, and he can't help the pained noise that escapes him.

Ignis looks over at him. "What's wrong?"

"My head just started throbbing," Noct admits, looking away from Ignis and down at the ground. He feels weak, but he has a feeling Ignis won't let it go unless he has the truth, and a headache seems relatively tame at least.

"You alright?" Prompto asks quietly.

"Yeah. I'm fine," he says, and it's not even a lie. As quick as it had come on, the pain's receding, as if it had never happened. "Let's go in," he adds, motioning to the Leville. He starts up the few steps, and after a hesitant moment, the others follow after him.

When Iris runs down the stairs to meet them, he's a little surprised to see her in such a cheerful mood. Yet when they get up to her room and talk soon turns to the attack, it's quickly obvious that she's just trying to put on a brave face for them.

"So Iris, what was it like inside the Crown City?" Noct asks her quietly. He hates that he's making her dredge up the memories, and he dreads the answers, but he has to know.

"Not pretty," she says matter-of-factly. Her voice is steady, but her hands are clenched into tight fists on her lap, digging into the fabric of her dress. "The Citadel took a beating. Parts of it are... completely destroyed. A lot of the Kingsglaive didn't survive. And I'm sure you heard about King Regis..." she trails off for a moment, all of them falling silent in a moment of remembered grief. Noct works to breathe around the sudden tightness in his chest. It still hurts too much, to think about his dad. "But," Iris finally picks back up, "a lot of the outlying neighbourhoods made it through in one piece."

Prompto looks up at that bit of news, a look of desperate hope on his face that breaks Noct's heart. "They—they did? Then maybe my parents... I mean, maybe they just haven't been able to call me..."

"The empire had tactical targets in mind," Ignis mutters in disgust.

"Iris... what about Dad?" Gladio asks. His voice is soft for once, leaving Noct straining to hear him. "Did he...?"

Iris looks at her brother sadly, shaking her head. "No," she says, and the raw sorrow in her trembling voice makes Noct look away from her. Her grief is no less painful than his own. "He didn't make it. I... I saw him, before. He asked me to let you know that he loves you, and to remind you that an Amicitia is... is for life."

Gladio simply nods at her. His face is an impassive mask, but Noctis knows he has to be hurting. He's pretty sure Gladio had known the answer before he asked—his own dad wouldn't be dead, if Clarus were still alive, because Clarus would have never let that happen—but to have it confirmed... Noct knows all too well what that's like.

However, he _also_ knows that Gladio won't talk about it with any of them, and any attempts at making him will be useless. He'll internalise it, and find other ways to channel the pain and anger. Which isn't entirely a bad thing, if he directs at the empire.

They talk awhile longer, until none of them can bear another word about the tragic fate Insomnia has met, and then they sit quietly for a few minutes, until the loud rumbling of Prompto's stomach cuts through the tension, lightening the mood.

"Sorry," he says sheepishly. "I guess I'm hungry..."

"It is about that time," Ignis says, looking at his watch. "What say we go grab a late lunch, or an early dinner if you'd rather."

"I know a great little place not far from here!" Iris exclaims, brightening. "I can show you guys!"

"We'd be grateful," Noctis tells her, offering her a small smile.

They get up and start heading from the room. Prompto looks back, spotting Gladio still in his seat. "You coming, big guy?" he asks.

Gladio silently shakes his head, and Noctis suppresses a sigh. He wishes there was something he could do to help. He hates feeling useless.

"Do you want us to bring you something back?" Prompto asks uncertainly, and gets another head shake. "Okay, well, text us if you change your mind..."

Once they're down in the lobby, Prompto looks back at the stairs. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Gladdy's good at bottling things up," Iris says quietly. "And very stubborn about not accepting help."

"Yes, it's better to just leave him be for now," Ignis says. "If he's still this way tomorrow, I will talk to him."

"Okay," Prompto says, but he bites down on his lower lip, still looking worried. He seems to recognise there's not much he can do at the moment, though, and they all head out.

x x x

The next morning finds Noctis being taken on a tour around Lestallum by Iris. He's not really up for it—he's still tired, which he's starting to suspect is going to be a constant thing—but her enthusiasm is infectious, and soon he finds himself smiling along with her. And he has to admit, Lestallum is a nice city. The open air market is fascinating, and he gazes with interest at the myriad of stalls lining the streets, each manned by vendors politely calling out to the people that walk by. Plenty of the potential customers are engaged in lively conversation with them. There's also a lot of food stalls, and the tantalising smell of fried meat and vegetables lingers in the air, mingling with the heavy scent of the spices being sold at several stalls. One man offers him a free skewer of meat as he walks by, and Noct takes it with a thanks, smiling at the delicious taste that fills his mouth when he bites into a piece.

He and Iris chat a little as they walk, though he has to speak up to be heard over the crowd. The hustle and bustle reminds him a little of Insomnia, though there's not quite so many people, and they're definitely a lot friendlier than the Crown City. Not that the citizens of Insomnia are _un_ friendly, exactly, just that everyone is usually too busy to take the time to stop and say a friendly greeting. There's always somewhere to be, and something to do.

Of course, that was all before... He wonders how Insomnia's doing now, how many people are left, how many were killed, how many fled... Ignis has been trying to keep up with the news, but with the empire controlling so much, it's hard to trust any news sources. He stares out over the outlook, at the meteor burning brightly in the distance. When he'd seen it before, while in the Regalia on the way to Lestallum, he'd enjoyed the sight of it. Now, somehow, it's just unsettling. Had Insomnia looked a little like that, the Citadel burning as the Wall crumbled? "Did you see much of the city outside the Citadel?" he asks Iris abruptly.

She sobers instantly, following his gaze to the meteor. "I was in a car with Cor," she says with a sigh, "but I saw enough. It was... it was bad, Noct. Cars were abandoned and wrecked in the middle of the streets. Many of the nearby buildings and houses were completely destroyed, with a lot of them still burning, and the smoke was so thick it was hard not to choke on it... There were people _everywhere_ , screaming, crying, hurt... dead. And then there were all the MTs. They kept trying to get us to stop, but Cor just drove right through them all, until we were finally out of the city."

Noct listens to her quietly, every word a small stab to his heart. He should have been there, should have been in the Citadel with his dad, helping defend it, helping his dad to get away, to _live_. Not traipsing around Leide on some kind of bachelor party road trip, heading to a marriage that meant nothing. He feels the burning anger at his dad rushing through his veins again, and clenches his hands into fists, silently willing himself to calm down, which is easier said than done. It just—all of this for the stupid _Crystal_. One that he's not even sure is worth it. It's offered protection to his city and his people, yes, but it's come at a great cost. Centuries worth of on and off war, thousands upon thousands of lives lost, so much blood shed, and every king to wield the ring dying before his time... he's almost tempted to just let Niflheim have it.

"The others are probably back at the hotel by now," Iris says when Noct doesn't speak up. "Let's join them."

Noctis looks out at the meteor one last time, trying to shake the sense of disquiet he feels at the sight. "Yeah," he says softly. "Let's go."

x x x

Gladio's thankfully talking again when Noct and Iris get back to the Leville, seemingly back to his old self. But Noct can see the lines of pain in the tightness of his forehead, the grief lurking in his eyes. Gladio's still hurting, not that Noctis blames him. It's probably going to be a long time before any of them truly move past the sorrow of losing their families, their home.

The tip about the Royal Arm that Talcott gives them serves as a good distraction, however, and they all throw themselves into it with gusto. While they're eating lunch at a nearby cafe, Ignis enquires of the proprietor where there might be a nearby waterfall. When he comes back to the table, map in hand, he spreads it out and points to a spot that's now been circled in red marker.

"There," Ignis says, tapping his finger down on the area. "That's where the waterfall should be."

"We should check it out then," Gladio says.

"Great. Another scary cave. Can't wait," Prompto says, sarcasm leaking through.

Noct shrugs at him, unrepentant. He wants little to do with the Crystal, but he wants to take back Insomnia one day, and the Royal Arms are a necessary step on the path to reclaiming his throne.

Once they're done eating, they all head out in the Regalia. The waterfall really isn't far, and they traverse the path towards it quickly, coming to a halt when they spot some shieldshears a short distance from it. Noct's ready to summon his weapon and take them head on, but Ignis stops him. "It's well known that they're weak to the ice elemental," he says in an undertone. "A spell would do a significant amount of damage to all of them and allow us to finish them off quickly."

Noct does his best not to react negatively, but the thought of using magic fills him with a low dread. He doesn't want to experience that sensation again. Even though it's not _quite_ pain, he's afraid of it becoming so. Yet he can't deny Ignis without explaining why, so instead he just pulls out a flask of ice elemental, and hands it to him.

Ignis tosses the spell as they all pull out their weapons, and just as Noct had dreaded, the _tug_ comes back, dragging insistently on his magic core, along with the faint impression of an indistinct murmur across his consciousness. The sensation's not painful, at least not this time, but it feels so... invasive, and he really, really doesn't like it. Whatever is messing up his magic, he hopes it stops soon. Sighing, he throws himself into the battle, resigned to once again think about it later, if he can ever find the time. They make short work of the overgrown crustaceans, and all too soon they're crawling through 'another scary cave,' as Prompto had put it. He ignores the banter between his best friend and his shield, until a few flans rise up from the ground, and then he interrupts them. "We've got company," he says, and immediately they're all focused.

"Flans are somewhat impervious to physical attacks," Ignis says as they circle around the daemons, their weapons still out from the earlier battle. "We're better off using magic, though I can't recall if they have a particular elemental weakness."

Noct lets out another sigh, silently pulling out more flasks and handing them over to Gladio and Ignis. He has to admit, the magic quickly makes short work of the flans, but the constant pulling on his core is tiring, and leaves him feeling frustrated. He doesn't have _time_ to be feeling tired.

As soon as the flans are nothing more than a puddle of melted goo, Noctis makes to head further into the cave, before a tug on his jacket stops him. He glances back, seeing Prompto's uncertain yet determined look. "Yeah?"

"Can someone... maybe show me how to draw on Noct's magic now, please? I don't want to just get in the way."

"You never get in the way," Noct tells him, even as Ignis says, "I'm not sure now is the right time."

Prompto looks between them, hesitant. "So that's a no?"

Noct looks at him, feeling a little bad, because he knows Prompto is feeling insecure. Prompto has been insecure about his place in Noct's life ever since they first became friends, but it's worsened since they set out for Altissia, with him constantly feeling inexperienced and more of a hindrance than a help in battle, even though Noct's told him several times over that he's _not_. Noct is quickly coming to hate his magic, but he doesn't want to make Prompto feel even worse about himself, and really, they'll likely be using it a lot in this cave, so teaching Prompto and letting him use it as well won't be that much worse.

Mind made up, he heads back towards the entrance, where there's more space for them to work. Ignis won't approve, but then, Ignis doesn't approve of a lot of things Noct does, often for or with Prompto. Noctis is well used to ignoring Ignis on such points by now. "Here," he says, shoving a flask at Prompto, who fumbles to get a grip on it, nearly dropping it.

Ignis stands nearby and watches, his arms folded across his chest disapprovingly, but he says nothing, even adding in some pointers and clarification as Noct tries to put into words how to activate the spells. Gladio paces near the tunnel they'd started to go into, keeping an eye out for more daemons.

"Okay, I think I got it," Prompto finally says, nodding.

"You ready to try?" Noct asks him, trying not to grimace at the thought of the sensation he knows is coming.

Prompto looks down at the flask in his hand, taking a deep breath before looking back up at Noct, determination steeled on his face. "Yeah."

Noctis moves over to where Ignis is standing, subtly bracing himself against a nearby rock. He watches Prompto unstopper the flask, and despite the uncomfortable _tug_ that sweeps over him, he can't help but feel pride when his best friend gets it on his first try, an electrical charge crackling all along the ground, throwing up little sparks here and there. "Great!" he says, grinning warmly at Prompto, and Prompto gives him a shy smile in return, blushing at the praise. Prompto does it a couple more times after that, and Noct knows Ignis is frowning at the waste of spells, but Prompto is so pleased with himself that he can't bring himself to care.

"Good now?" Noct asks after the third spell, and Prompto nods. "Okay, let's get going."

They slowly make their way through the icy cave, fighting the numerous daemons that pop up, using magic spells where necessary. It's fast draining, and within the first hour Noctis finds himself dragging, his body weighed down and his feet heavier with every step. He's so exhausted, and all he wants to do is just close his eyes and stop, but he knows he can't. The place is crawling with so many nasties that he doesn't have time to even put his daggers away, much less rest for a moment between battles, and he's starting to worry that he's going to screw up.

"Noct, is everything all right?" Ignis asks at one point, looking down at him over the rims of his glasses. He's got his concerned, serious Ignis face on, and Noct sighs, wishing his advisor would be less observant for once.

"Fine," he mutters. "Just tired. I didn't sleep well last night." It's a lie—he'd slept like the dead, despite all the stress and worries swirling around in his head.

Ignis raises an eyebrow in clear disbelief, but doesn't have time to challenge it, for they run into yet more daemons. It's another group of flans, materialising right behind Prompto, who yells and whirls around, tossing a spell at them as he yanks at Noct's magic in a panic, trying to activate it. Noctis winces, Prompto's panic making it hurt, though thankfully it fades quickly.

"Sorry, Noct," Prompto calls out to him, sounding a bit shameful, but Noct just waves it away. They keep moving on, and eventually come across a narrow ledge.

"Oh man. Don't tell me we have to cross that?" Prompto moans, looking around them.

"Do you see any alternative routes?" Ignis asks him, a bite of snark to his tone. "Because unless my eyes deceive me, this is the only way forward."

"Well, no... b-but we could look for one?"

Gladio rolls his eyes. "Leave the kid alone, Iggy. Prompto, this is the fastest way. Don't be scared, if you start to fall, I'll catch you."

"I'm not _scared_ ," Prompto mutters, returning his weapon to the Armiger, but they can all hear his voice shaking.

Noctis knows something that the other two don't—namely, that Prompto's afraid of heights. So he goes first and makes Prompto follow after him, using his left hand to grab Prompto's right, squeezing it gently as they inch their way across. "Just look at me," he murmurs, and Prompto does. Luckily they all make it across without any mishaps, and it's not long before they're running into yet _another_ group of imps. Noct groans, pulling his daggers back out of the Armiger.

There's a _tug_ again. It's not as pronounced as with his magic use, doesn't feel quite as if someone's actually snatching at him, and he's not sure he's not imagining it, but as the others summon their weapons, he feels it again. He frowns, confusion flashing across his face. Why would he feel it just from accessing the Armiger?

"Noct, look out!" Gladio yells, and Noct looks up from his musing just in time to throw up a dagger and slice into the imp that was jumping at his face. He concentrates on the battle after that, and all the ones that come after—and when they cross another narrow ledge, later, and access the Armiger afterwards, there's more _tugs_ —but _later_ , he tells himself firmly—and _finally_ they reach the Royal Tomb, where he wastes no time in taking the weapon, still unsettled with the Crystal's seeming restlessness as it curls around his core, a bit tighter than before, and the brief murmur in his mind seems louder this time.

He's relieved that traipsing back through the cave towards the entrance is easy enough, the daemons still cleared out for the time being, but he's not any less worn out, and it's an effort to keep himself from just collapsing on the ground and napping right then and there, the cold and dark be damned. He wants to blame it on the battles they've had for the day, and just needing to adjust, but he can't keep lying to himself. Whatever's wrong with his magic, whatever keeps affecting his core, it's the cause of his exhaustion, and unless he can somehow fix it, he's going to _keep_ feeling like this. As much as he loves to sleep, he doesn't want to sleep for hours upon hours and then _still be tired_. He loves sleep so much because he loves waking up and feeling refreshed, and ready to take on more of the day. Now all he can think about is getting back to the hotel and getting horizontal as quickly as possible.

"At last!" Prompto crows when they break out into daylight, throwing himself down to his knees and pretending to worship the sun. "I thought we'd never see daylight again!"

Noctis scoffs, taking a couple steps forward, preparing to toss a reply over his shoulder when a sharp, pounding pain slams into his head, feeling as if someone's repeatedly stabbing a knife into his temple. He groans and then cries out, his face scrunching up as he staggers and hunches over, trying to keep his footing. It _hurts_ , and flashes of images fly past again. That face carved of stone, the red flaming eye, a large hole, a bright blue burning. He hears Prompto ask if he's okay, but his voice sounds distant, as if Prompto's calling to him from the end of a long tunnel, and the pain is so intense it's all he can do not to throw up, much less reply. He groans again, every nerve in his head thrumming, and then his ears are popping as the pain suddenly disappears. "What did I... where was that?" he asks, mostly to himself, as he tries to make sense of the images he's just seen.

"What is it?" Gladio asks, sounding concerned.

"A hole in the ground... something burning... the Meteor?" he says with sudden realisation, recalling it from his view at the outlook in Lestallum earlier.

"You saw the Disc of Cauthess?" There's a weird sort of awe in Ignis' voice, and he's not sure what to make of it. Still, he looks towards Ignis, and nods once, carefully.

Gladio and Ignis exchange worried glances, while Prompto just looks between the three of them, confused. For a moment, no one says anything, and then Gladio speaks up. "Let's make our way back to Lestallum."

* * *

This is now caught up with my posts over at the kink meme... which means I have nothing more written for it yet. I'll try not to take to long to get the next chapter out.


	5. chapter four

Health problems kept me away from any sort of writing until July, and then guilt kept me away from Final Fantasy XV until the Assassin's Festival and sexy Ignips finally drew me back in this past weekend. I'm so sorry. I haven't abandoned this story (though I still haven't figured out an ending, agh). Thanks to everyone who left all the kudos and such even while I disappeared, it kept this story in my mind even while I was avoiding it XD

I'm also sorry this chapter is short ;;

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter four_

* * *

A third headache hits Noctis as they're leaving the Leville to go grab an early dinner. This time he manages not to cry out, but he does halt, dropping to his knees and clutching at his head while the pain and visions assault it. He grits his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut tight, wanting to cry with how bad it hurts. He starts when he feels a hand start to rub soothing circles on his back, above where the scar is, but it helps, and he focuses his attention on that until the pain disappears.

"Alright?" Gladio asks as Noct gets to his feet. Ignis pulls his hand back, but lets it hover uncertainly for a minute until Noct steps away, signalling he's fine.

He nods at Gladio. "Yeah."

At the diner, they're all quiet, but Noct doesn't miss the concerned glances his friends keep shooting him. He can't really blame them. The visions and headaches are _weird_ , and he has no idea why he keeps seeing the Disc, or where the images are coming from. And then there's the weird _tugs_ with his magic—and maybe the arsenal, but he can't be sure on that. It's probably only his magic. Still, he wonders. Are the tugs related to the headaches somehow? Or entirely different things? He doesn't know, doesn't have any way of knowing, and it's frustrating. He thinks about bringing it up to the others, to at least Ignis, to see if they'd have any ideas, but he doesn't want to worry them, and none of them will know with certainty any more than he does. It's not as if research exists on this stuff. Not even his family knows how the magic _truly_ works, and they were the ones chosen to be worthy of the Crystal.

He sighs, staring down at his plate without seeing it. He has to hope the weird feelings with his magic are related to the headaches, and that when they can figure out what's going on with the Disc and fix it, everything will all disappear. Because if it's not related, and it's also _not_ just his magic, there's only one other possibility that comes to mind, and the thought of that possibility makes his palms sweaty and his heart pound with anxiety, deeply scaring him.

He doesn't want it to be the Crystal. He's not even sure how it _can_ be. His Dad has—had—always given him the impression that it was only wearing the ring and maintaining the wall that caused the Crystal to drain at his life force, neither of which Noct is doing. But then, his dad had always done those things from the minute _his_ dad had passed away and he'd become king of Lucis, so perhaps he'd never realised. And yet—surely every king in the Lucis Caelum line wouldn't have been immediately able to put on the Ring of Lucii when the previous king fell, so if the Crystal's draining powers weren't related to it, if they started the second someone became king, then somebody would have found out by now, would have passed the knowledge down the line, and he'd know.

If it isn't the Crystal, however, and it's not related to the headaches... Noct really has no clue, then, what could be causing everything. He takes an absent bite of his roast, chewing slowly. If the tugs persist, and aren't related to the headaches, but don't seem related to the Crystal... if it's his magic going haywire like he originally suspected, he might have to tell his friends. He dreads the thought of it. They worry over him enough.

"Noct?" Prompto asks suddenly, breaking into his musings.

He looks up, and sees the worry on their faces. He tries to smile, but their concern only deepens. "I'm fine," he says, and tries to deflect. "These visions... strange, huh?"

"Indeed," Ignis says. "But there's no sense in worrying about them now. We'll find out soon enough."

Noctis nods, internally sighing. "Right."

x x x

"How is your head?"

Noctis sighs, looking up as Ignis takes a seat across from him. The others are in the camper sleeping, and Ardyn is off who knows where. Noct knows he should be inside sleeping too, but as tired as he is, there's so much going on that he can't quiet his brain long enough to sleep. "It's okay right now," he answers honestly. "You think we'll find answers at the Disc tomorrow?"

Ignis is silent a moment. "I certainly hope so," he says at last. "But nothing is ever certain."

Noct looks away at that. He doesn't need Ignis to remind him of that fact. It had been hammered painfully home the day he'd stood on the cliff and listened to Cor tell him that his father really was gone. He feels his throat tighten in remembrance, and lets out a small gasp that's almost a sob. The grief always keeps hitting him at the oddest of times, brought on by the littlest of things. He wonders if his friends are experiencing such moments in their own grief. They all seem like they're coping so much better than him, even Prompto.

"I am sorry, Noct," Ignis murmurs, low in his throat. "I didn't mean to dredge up such memories."

He exhales slowly, a soft, shuddering breath, and shoves the grief away. He's not going to fall apart right now, not in front of Ignis, not when Ardyn is lurking around somewhere and could come back at any moment, not when there's so many other pressing matters to worry about. He glances to Ignis, whose eyes are gleaming strangely in the dim glow of the streetlight near the camper. "It's not your fault," he says quietly. "I just—it hits me, sometimes."

"Grief is like that," Ignis says. There's warm sympathy in his voice that Noct finds comforting, but there's also a painful _knowing_ that reminds him he's not the only one grieving lost loved ones. He feels selfish, suddenly, that he hasn't asked after his friends, or found out if they'd ever received any word. They only know of Clarus, but there are so many others that are still an unknown.

"Did you—your uncle—" he fumbles, feeling awkward. He's not good with talking about emotions, and he and Ignis have only ever done so in the most serious of times.

"No word. I fear any news would not be good."

Ignis' voice is mostly steady and even, but Noct knows him well enough to catch the small hitch that says he's not as okay about what he's saying as he's pretending to be. He closes his eyes against brimming tears, looking away again to compose himself. "I'm sorry," he mutters, when he can face Ignis once more, without fear of embarrassing himself in front of his advisor. Down at his side, he clenches a fist, anger flaring up. If he ever comes face to face with Aldercapt, he's going to tear the old man's lying, treacherous body apart, perhaps rip it to shreds with one of the Royal Arms until there's nothing left except a red stain on the ground that the rain will eventually wash away. He hates Niflheim and its emperor more than anything else he's ever hated in his life.

Ignis smiles briefly at him, the gesture more sad than anything. "As I said, nothing is ever certain." He sighs, pulling out his phone to glance at the time. "It's late," he says, "and we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow. You should grab some rest while you can."

Noct pulls a face at him. "Easier said than done." He gets up though, stretching fully before taking a few steps toward the camper's door. "You coming?" he asks, looking back over his shoulder.

"In a moment. Go ahead."

Noct hesitates, not sure if he should leave Ignis alone when Ardyn's whereabouts are an unknown—he really doesn't trust that man—but Ignis is a grown man and excellent fighter, more than capable of taking care of himself, and if he needs a few minutes to himself, well, Noct can certainly understand that. He heads into the camper, reclaiming his earlier bed, and curls up onto his side, letting the thoughts run wild through his mind until at last exhaustion claims him.

x x x

Dealing with the Archaean is a mess.

At first, Noct thinks it's going to be easy. There's a Royal Tomb at the Disc, oddly enough, but it's nice not to have to crawl through a daemon-infested cave to retrieve it for once, so he can't really complain. He feels the shadow of the Crystal shifting again as he takes the weapon, wrapping itself around his core. It's starting to become a familiar feeling, if still unsettling. He takes a few steps away from the final resting place of a past king of Lucis, wondering if this was the cause of his visions, and if they're going to stop now.

That's when everything goes sideways, happening so fast it feels like a blur, or a hazy dream he's floating through, jumbled impressions of heat and fear and anxiety and the wreckage of Titan's face looming above it all. He's somewhat aware that he's running alongside Gladio, with no real clue where they're going, and then there's screeching and he realises there's beasts here after all, he's going to have to fight, and so he pulls his sword out of the Armiger—and it's back, that yanking sensation of a _tug_ on his core he's felt with his magic. It's sharper this time, and he thinks it even hurts, but the pain is so fleeting that he can't be sure. The battle is quick, and they're running again, with no time to stop and contemplate things, but as they run into another group of Dynoaevis and Gladio tosses a flask of fire at them, he can't help but wonder _why_ he keeps feeling this tug, is it his magic, is it Titan, is it the Crystal—?

They make it to an open area, Gladio motioning him to a small ledge, and he has just enough time to be somewhat glad Prompto isn't here for this when the ground rumbles, and then his head feels like it's splitting open, _it hurts so bad_ , and he can't focus on anything else. "Ugh, my head," he grits out.

"Again? Of all the times..." comes Gladio's dismayed mutter, but he doesn't stop moving, and somehow neither does Noctis. They get a little further, and he hears Gladio ask after him, but the pain's so intense it's all he can do not to throw up, so he doesn't answer. Every step he takes feels like an earthquake to his head, as if _he's_ Titan and his mere footsteps make the ground tremble. Gladio yelling at him once they're off the ledge doesn't help, every word feels like it's drilling into his head and pounding harshly against his skull as it reverberates around his brain. He keeps reaching to put a hand against his forehead as if that will help with the pain, but always yanks it back down at the last moment, afraid that touch will hurt even worse.

By the time they reach Titan he's lost all sense of where they are, following after Gladio blindly. He hears the noise of MTs, and pulls his sword back out, but if there's any _tug_ , he can't feel it for the pain in his head. Still, he's able to take out the MTs easily enough, especially with Gladio's help. He's yelling up at Titan before he's even aware that he means to do so, but Titan's words make the pain intensify, and his vision actually whites out for a moment. He crouches over, hands against his head, body taut with tension and stress, trying desperately not to hurl up the breakfast he'd had earlier.

"Noct!" he hears Gladio cry, and then his Shield's body is slamming into his, knocking him sideways to the ground moments before a large, rocky foot thuds down onto the spot where he'd been. He stares wide-eyed for a moment, and then pulls himself together through the pain enough to stumble upright and grip his sword tightly, aiming a quick slice at Titan's foot when he starts to bring it down a second time. The fight's on after that, a flurry of swords and dodging and tremors and even having to run back up to the top of the cliff once when Titan knocks them down, avoiding his grasping hands all the while. At one point he tries to warp, so he tosses his sword and sends himself after it, and the resulting squeezing sensation on his core has him landing dizzy, and short of where he'd intended. He sits there for a moment on his hands and knees, chest heaving deeply, eyes closed tight, waiting for the sensation to fade, and when it does he climbs to his feet and finally loses his breakfast.

"You alright?" Gladio calls over to him, swinging his broadsword at a giant hand.

"Fine," he calls back, wiping at his mouth and wincing at the sour taste. He's not fine and they both know it, but it can't be helped. Prompto and Ignis rejoin them shortly after that, and soon everything becomes narrowed down to nothing but warping, and pain, and dizziness, and mostly trying desperately not to die. When Noct sees the other three pull out a flask of blizzard magic he wants to cry, _knowing_ that all three at once is going to hurt, especially on top of all his other pain, but he doesn't say anything. They toss them simultaneously, and he actually gasps when he feels the _tug_ —only this time it's not a tug, it's more of a wrenching sensation, as if someone, or something, has reached in and grabbed his core in a fist and yanked with all their might. He doesn't have time to fall apart over it, though, so he gathers up every bit of strength he can and swings his sword down on Titan.

The sudden pop of pressure disappearing makes him stumble, but he stays upright. He takes a deep, relieved breath, enjoying the lack of pain, but he has only seconds to enjoy it before it's back, worse than ever before, and there's a flash of Luna in his mind, then a feeling of Titan's acceptance and power joining the shadow of the Crystal, swirling and mingling together inside him as the pain disappears once more. A sudden incredible weariness overtakes his body, and he wants nothing more than to collapse right there, but the ground around them is literally exploding so he keeps himself together until they're on the airship with Ardyn, relatively safe, and then he can't hold on any longer. Ignis' panicked cry of "Noct!" is the last thing he hears before he passes out.

* * *

I didn't want to rehash too much of the Titan fight, just sort of hit the highlights while focusing on what Noct is experiencing. The next few chapters they'll be more or less sidequesting XD


	6. chapter five

Thanks to an anonymous reviewer who gave some interesting theories, I've now worked out an ending for this fic and finished up the outline for it. I'm just really hoping that all of you reading don't end up hating it, cos _I'm_ okay with the ending, I just don't know if other people will be. Anyways.

Oh, and next weekend I'm driving five hours to Nashville for a concert and staying the whole weekend, so I probably won't have a new chapter up then. _Maybe_ during the week, but I have classes and homework, so no promises.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter five_

* * *

Waking up is hard. It seems to take Noct a long time to pull himself through the groggy haze of disorientation and back into consciousness. His vision swims, fuzzy and grey around the edges, and nothing is in focus. He can hear the rush of blood through his ears, accompanied by the pounding pulse of his heartbeat, and it's a disconcerting sensation. He tries to think back to the last thing he remembers, to find an explanation for how he got here in a bed he has no recollection of, but muddled memories flash distorted through his mind, and he can't immediately put them in order. He aches all over, and exhaustion is weighing him down, pinning him in place. He tries to move his arm, to rub at his eyes as the room around him continues to blur, but his arm's heavy, and feels as if it's moving in slow-motion, a hundred seconds for the slightest movement. He fights through it, pulling himself up into a sitting position, but it makes him feel sick, and he groans, unable to help himself.

"Noct!"

He hears Prompto let out a cry, and then before he can react slender arms are wrapping around him as a solid weight barrels into his body, sending jolts of nausea and pain throughout it. Prompto pulls him close, fingers curling tight into the back of his shirt, burying his head against Noct's shoulder, desperately clinging to him. Noct swallows and tries not to throw up all over his best friend's back.

"Noct, you're okay, you're awake, Noct, you're here, you're alright..." Prompto is murmuring nonsense to him, over and over, and Noct feels heavy twinges of guilt tug at his heart for worrying his best friend. He wonders how long he was out for. Judging by the way Prompto's reacting, he knows it's had to be at least several hours.

"Prompto, perhaps His Highness might like to breathe," Ignis says gently, and Noct feels Prompto loosen his grip instantly, though he doesn't let go or move his head.

"Oh, right! Sorry, Noct," Prompto says sheepishly.

Noct clears his throat and licks at his lips, making a face at how gummy and gross they feel. "It's fine," he says, wincing at how hoarse his voice comes out. His vision's finally starting to clear though, and he looks carefully around over Prompto's shoulder, easily recognising the familiar faded and tired decor of a Three Z's motel. Ignis is standing at the foot of the bed, and though he'd spoken to Prompto mildly, Noct can see the warring lines of tension and relief etched into his face. Gladio's in a chair nearby, rolling his eyes at Prompto before looking away, but as Noct continues to watch him, he notices that Gladio frequently glances back over at him, as if he's reassuring himself that Noct's still there, and still okay.

Ignis comes up to him then, and places a warm hand against his forehead. It feels uncomfortable—Noct's already hot, strands of his hair clinging to his face in a sweaty mess, and the heat of Ignis' hand isn't helping. "How are you feeling?" Ignis asks, and Noct doesn't miss the hint of concern lacing his tone.

Noctis squirms away from his hand, or as much as he can while Prompto's still stuck to him like a leech. "Fine," he says automatically. Ignis arches one eyebrow delicately in polite disbelief—and how he does that, Noct has no idea, but he's pulled it off well since they were teenagers—and Noct sighs. "Tired," he admits honestly. "I ache. What happened?"

Prompto finally, _finally_ , lets him go then, sitting back on the bed to frown at him. "You don't remember?"

Noct shakes his head, regretting it as the movement sends a bolt of pain lancing across his forehead. He winces and looks down, rubbing lightly at his temple. "Not really."

Gladio speaks up then, and his voice is serious, highlighting the gravity of the situation for Noct. "You nearly got your ass handed to you by Titan."

"We were scared you were gonna die, buddy," Prompto adds, and Noct's eyes fly up to meet Prompto's worried ones in stunned surprise, even as the fight starts coming back to him in bits and pieces. Titan's foot thundering down upon him from above. Large, craggy hands swiping at him, a single finger bigger than his entire body. Slashing his sword over and over, barely making a dent against the Archaean. The flowing acceptance within as Titan's power at last joined him. Mostly, though, he remembers the sensations on his core as his magic was overworked, the dizziness and nausea that was his constant companion, feeling like he was being torn apart with every use, and the absolute, agonising pain raging throughout every centimetre of his body.

"Yeah... I remember now," Noct murmurs. "How long has it been? How did we get here?"

"Ardyn dropped us off at Wiz's ranch two days ago, and Cindy brought us to the motel here in Longwythe," Gladio says, folding his arms across his chest and frowning at him in disapproval. "What the hell happened, Noct? Prompto's right, when you first passed out we thought you might be dying."

"How the hell should I know," Noct mutters, glaring at him. He has a few guesses, but he's not willing to share them with anyone. He wants to find out what the hell is going with his—body? Magic? He's still not sure—first.

"You were warping non-stop during the end of the battle with Titan," Ignis says. "Combine that with the pain you were feeling, and unexpectedly receiving the Archaean's blessing, I'd say your body likely overloaded from everything you were putting it through, and caused you to pass out. Perhaps it couldn't be helped, but do try and take care in the future, Noct."

"Yeah, yeah." He's glad Ignis has come up with a reasonable explanation—and it's probably not entirely off the mark, it's just _also_ probably not the full reason. He doesn't really know though, not until he has a chance to find out if those weird _tugs_ disappeared along with the headaches when Titan's power joined the Crystal's in his core. But since he's not willing to bring it up, he decides it's probably safer to change the subject. "What's with that Ardyn guy? Why did he help us?"

"He's the imperial chancellor of Niflheim," Gladio says, his face tightening with anger.

Noct's eyes widen, and he looks to Ignis for confirmation. "Woah, seriously?"

Ignis nods. "Ardyn Izunia. He introduced himself as we boarded the dropship. I doubt you would remember."

Noct bites down on his lip, recalling the shifty, slippery-seeming man that had led them to the Disc of Cauthess. He'd oozed charm from every pore, but had reeked of duplicity, and Noctis hadn't trusted the man. Still, he definitely hadn't expected him to be working for the enemy. "If he's with Niflheim, why did he help us?" he repeats. It just doesn't make sense. Shouldn't Ardyn want nothing to do with them? Shouldn't he want for Noct to _not_ reclaim the throne? Why put them closer to their goal?

"I suspect he has his own agenda, one we won't be privy to," Ignis says flatly. "There's no point in idle speculation."

"But if he's helping us, who cares why he's doing it?" Prompto asks. "We should take all the help we can get!" He looks around at them earnestly, his face shining with eagerness and innocence that hurts Noct to look at. He doesn't understand how his friend can be so trusting still, after everything they've already been through.

Gladio shakes his head. "We can't trust him."

Noct sighs, glancing around at the three of them. "Let's just... avoid him as much as possible for now. Now that I'm awake, what's the plan?"

"Right now, nothing. Until we get the Regalia back, I'm afraid we're stranded here."

"What?" Noct looks directly at his advisor in shock, Ignis' words causing a sudden, sharp pang of grief in his chest, accompanied by slight panic. The Regalia is his dad's car, and right now it's the only tangible thing he has left connecting him to his dad. He can't lose that car, he _can't_. There's too many fond memories tied up with it. "Where is it?"

"In the hands of the empire, most likely," Gladio says grimly, his expression hard. "Cindy's been calling around, trying to find it."

"Great."

"In the meantime, I thought perhaps we could pick up some hunts nearby for some extra gil to line our pockets, when you're feeling up to it, though of course it is up to you."

He hesitates at Ignis' words, wondering what the best course of action is. He doesn't want to admit that he's almost _afraid_ to try fighting again. He desperately wants whatever's been going on with his core to be linked to the headaches, and for both of those things to be linked to Titan, but if they're not... he doesn't want to feel pain like that again. He doesn't want to keep hurting every time one of them accesses the Armiger, or uses a magic spell. However, he's not going to be able to keep avoiding battles, so it's probably better to jump right in and find out. And doing it during a hunt seems less risky than during a battle with MTs, or something equally dire. "We'll pick up a couple of hunts tomorrow," he decides.

Ignis nods. "Very well."

"You sure you're up for that, Princess?"

Noct glares at Gladio, but despite the teasing nickname, Gladio's face is serious, and Noct can see the concern lurking in his eyes. He really had scared his friends badly. "I feel fine. No pain." It's mostly true, at least right now—his head and his body are aching some, but it's nothing like before, and can probably easily be solved with a painkiller. Whether he'll still be fine tomorrow is the real question. "What is there to eat?"

"I can whip something up quick, if you would like," Ignis offers, and Noct nods.

"I'm going to shower," he says, throwing back the covers and sliding off the bed. He still feels sweaty and sticky, and grimy from all the battles he'd been in a couple of days ago. He looks around for his bag, belatedly remembering they'd all been left in the Regalia. The reminder of his missing car brings another stab of grief, and he hopes Cindy can pull through and find it for them.

"Cindy brought us some spare clothes she picked up," Prompto tells him, seeing him glancing around. "Yours are in the dresser!"

"Thanks." He pushes thoughts of the Regalia out of his mind and gathers the clothes up, heading into the small bathroom. When he gets out ten minutes later, Prompto and Gladio are involved in a game of cards, and Ignis is in the kitchenette, hovering over the tiny stove and frowning, so he leaves them all to it, heading outside the motel and taking a seat on one of the benches there, breathing in the fresh air contentedly.

The fight with Titan is still lingering in his mind, and he can't help but shudder as he remembers the last several minutes of it, feeling sure he was going to be ripped to pieces from the strain on his core. He can't believe he was out for two days... no wonder Prompto had flung himself at Noct as soon as he'd woken up. He feels bad, now, that he hadn't hugged Prompto back, but hugging others always makes him uncomfortable, he so rarely does it.

A quiet meow at his feet has him looking down, and he leans down to pet the cat sitting there. It purrs happily, curling around his leg briefly, then jumps up onto the bench, crawling into his lap. He smiles, petting the cat absently as it settles down. He looks at it closer, scratching at its ears, thinking the cream-coloured fur and dark tail looks familiar. "You're the same little guy from Galdin Quay, aren't you? How did you get here?"

The cat simply purrs, bumping his head into Noct's hand. Noct obligingly rubs his ears some more. "What an easy life you must have... getting to wander wherever and whenever, doing what you please, not having to answer to anybody, or be responsible for anybody..." He sighs. "I used to want to leave Insomnia and explore the world, but now it's turned out nothing like I imagined. I'd give anything to go back to how things were before." Tears prick at his eyes as he's hit hard with a deep yearning for his home, and he swallows hard against the sudden lump in his throat.

The cat trills at him suddenly, bumping his hand again, and then looks up at him expectantly. "What, are you hungry?" Noct asks him, momentarily distracted from his hurt. "Sorry, no fish this time."

"Noct, your food is ready," Ignis says as he steps outside the room, then raises his eyebrow in silent surprise as he spots the cat. "I do believe that's the cat we saw at Galdin Quay, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yeah. I think he likes me."

"Animals _did_ always take to you," Ignis remarks as he takes a seat beside him.

"Yep." He scratches under the cat's chin, amused by the loud purring the action elicits. "Remember that stray cat we used to take care of when we were kids? This little guy reminds me of her."

"Ah, yes. Sol." Ignis smiles with remembrance. "She was a sweet cat. It is a wonder no one ever caught us with her, we weren't exactly subtle in our care."

Noctis grins. "Clarus did, one time, when I had snuck out to the gardens. He took her to the vet to get her checked over and promised not to tell my dad."

Ignis chuckles. "That sounds like him. I imagine he was used to such things, raising Iris."

"Yeah. Though, I'm surprised we didn't get found out when I snuck Sol into the Citadel. Do you remember that?"

Next to him, Ignis shakes his head. "How could I forget? She got away from you and started running up and down the halls of the Citadel. I was certain King Regis would find out and have my head. I'd never felt so terrified before."

Noctis laughs, thinking of the incident. Sol had been a tiny thing even fully grown, and had a playful, mischievous streak that suggested she'd never fully outgrown her kittenhood, no matter how old she'd got. When Noct had first found her as a kitten, he'd only been six, but he'd snuck her into the Citadel when he'd been around nine or ten. He'd tried keeping a tight grip on her, but she'd been eager to explore a new place, and fought him until she'd leapt down from his arms, and immediately took off through the halls, zipping up and down them, a white streak of fluff tearing around every which way. She'd quickly gone exploring in a room, knocking things over, and that had been about the time two Crownsguard men had come into the hall, hearing the noise. Noct had babbled out some story about the Citadel being haunted and him and Ignis ghost-hunting and accidentally knocking something over, while Ignis had stood there pale and frozen in fear. Luckily Sol had quieted down by that point, and the men had gone on their way, shaking their head at Noct's fancies. Noct had gone in to retrieve Sol and made sure he never brought her back into the Citadel again. "She could be a spitfire when she wanted," he says.

"Indeed."

"Do you think she's still there, in the garden where we buried her?"

"I'm sure she is." They fall silent for a moment, content to sit in each others' presence, and then Ignis nudges his shoulder gently. "Come now, your dinner is going to get cold."

Noct sighs, but he actually feels lighter for the conversation, for reminiscing on something good about Insomnia for once, so he gently sets the cat down on the ground, giving him one last pat on the head, and then gets up to follow Ignis back inside.

x x x

"Noct, did you hear them?" Prompto asks in an undertone, elbowing his side and motioning after the hunters that had just gone in the mart. "There's treasure in the mines!"

"Yeah, so?" Noct says in a disinterested tone. Treasure hunts no longer sound exciting to him, especially not right now. Though he'd fallen asleep early yesterday, he feels worn out this morning, a deep weariness settling into his bones that he can't seem to shake. There's also a knot of anxiety low in his stomach that made it hard to eat breakfast, and the concerned glances Ignis and Gladio had swapped when they'd noticed had only added to it.

"They said it could be buried with some dead guy!" Prompto hisses, and Noct thinks he sounds way too excited about the prospect of trawling through a dark, creepy old mine. The place is probably crawling with daemons.

"And...?" He really doesn't even get why Prompto is so stuck on the idea of this treasure. It's probably something stupid, like those jewels Dino's always wanting them to fetch, or some rare part that Cindy could use for the Regalia. Which they don't have. He sighs, even as his stomach tightens with more anxiety. He _really_ hopes Cindy finds the Regalia for them.

" _Noct_." Prompto gives him a disbelieving look, which makes Noct scowl in return. "Think about it, buddy! _Treasure_. Buried with a _dead guy_. Who is _entombed_ down in a mine somewhere."

Noct stares at him blankly for a moment, and then the dots connect. "Oh. _Oh_. Hey, it might be another royal tomb! Prompto, there could be another one of the Royal Arms down there!" He's getting excited himself now, all of his worries disappearing for a moment.

Prompto slaps a hand to his forehead in frustration. "Hel _lo_ , that's what I've been saying!"

"Why didn't you say so?" Noct continues, completely ignoring his best friend. "We should check it out!"

"I did say so!" Prompto exclaims, waving his hands around for emphasis. "Augh, why does nobody listen to me?"

"What's this now?" Gladio asks, coming up behind Prompto. His arms are full of bags from the mart, potions and first aid supplies and snacks to keep them going on their day of hunts.

Prompto jumps upon hearing Gladio's voice, letting out a little yell. "Ah! Big guy, don't sneak up on a person like that!" He throws a hand over his heart dramatically. "You'll give a guy a heart attack!"

Gladio rolls his eyes, shoving gently at Prompto's chest. "You're supposed to be paying attention to your surroundings, Prompto."

"Yeah, yeah," Prompto grumbles at him, swatting his hands away. "For someone so big, you're awfully quiet when you wanna be."

Gladio flashes him a devious grin. "I wouldn't be a very good Shield for the prince otherwise. Now, someone tell me what we should check out."

"There might be a tomb in the Balouve mines. I overheard some guys talking about treasure buried with a dead guy in there."

Gladio raises his eyebrows, looking towards Noct, who's calmed down by now. "Could be a dead king. You want to check it out today?"

"Nah," Noctis says lazily, affecting unconcern. "We still need the gil from hunts. We can check it out tomorrow." In truth, now that the excitement's worn off, he's scared. He needs the Royal Arms, yes, and he's excited to hopefully collect another one, but they're a reminder of how fucked up everything's gotten since he left Insomnia, and going through the mines means a lot of battling, and possibly a lot of pain, if it turns out to not be linked with Titan.

"Check what out?" Ignis asks, approaching them. He's got a can of Ebony in each hand, one of them already open, and Noct rolls his eyes at his advisor's obvious addiction. He still doesn't understand how Ignis can drink the stuff, and so often. It tastes worse than any vegetable, worse than _beans_ , and that's saying something.

"A royal tomb in the mines, maybe," Noct answers him when he's done making a face at Ignis' coffee.

"Ah, I see. Very well, we shall plan for that tomorrow then."

Noct nods, and then pulls out his whistle to call for the chocobos, ready to get the day over with.

x x x

Their first hunt is a pack of saphyrtails that have holed up around one side of Longwythe Peak. Noct spends the forty-five minute ride fretting the entire time and trying his hardest to look unbothered by anything. He hasn't had any more painful headaches at least, but that's only a cautious reassurance, and a mild one at best—deep down, he's not all that sure his headaches were linked to the tugs on his core. The tugs had come first, he knows, though he can't pinpoint exactly when he had first started feeling them. Not before Insomnia's fall, at least.

Gladio calls a sudden halt to the chocobos, and Noctis feels a sharp spike of anxiety as he realises their prey is roughly a metre ahead of them. They climb off the birds quietly, signalling to each other, and then Prompto calls his gun out from the Armiger. As Noct had dreaded and feared, the sharp _tug_ comes immediately—and this time it hurts. It's fleeting, a quick pinch that's no worse than the moment of, say, a needle piercing his skin, like when he had to get shots as a child, but he still grits his teeth, because worse than the pain, it definitely feels like the _Crystal_ is the one pulling at his core and snatching a small piece of it away. It happens again when Gladio and Ignis pull out their weapons, but he ignores it, along with the small murmur across his consciousness, and pulls out his own weapon.

Ignoring his lingering leftover fear from the fight with Titan, he tosses his sword at one of the saphyrtails, his body quickly hurtling after it. The squeezing sensation on his core is unmistakable, and tighter than it had been before. He lands with a gasp, but lets the force of his weight drive his sword deep into the beast's skull, rendering it helpless. A few more thrusts finishes it off, and then he's up and chasing after another one, shoving aside all of his pain and exhaustion and worry to focus on the fight at hand. It's not a long battle, nor a difficult one, but by the time it's over he's spent, fatigue wrapping around him and making him sluggish. He slumps down on the ground by the dead saphyrtail he last killed, breathing hard, making a face at the sweat he can feel rolling down his back. His shirt's clinging to his skin uncomfortably and he wishes he could take it off, but he'd never hear the end of it from Ignis, who'd lecture constantly about propriety, and sunburn, and gods knows what else.

Noct knows he'd never do it anyway, though, even if Ignis didn't lecture him. He hates having his scars back there exposed to anyone.

"Alright there, buddy?" Prompto asks him, a touch of worry in his voice.

Noct looks up at him, willing his breathing to slow down to something approaching normal. He doesn't want to give any of his friends cause for alarm today. They've been distressed enough over him lately. "It's so hot," he says, trying to sound whiny. If he's merely complaining, they won't think anything of his behaviour.

Gladio laughs, slapping a friendly hand against his back. Noct winces and tries not to fall over. "Suck it up, buttercup."

Noct musters up a glare for him. "Jerk."

"Wuss."

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

"Children, please," Ignis says, sounding put-upon as he steps in between them. "Gladiolus, please don't insult His Highness."

"Yeah." Noct leans around Ignis and sticks his tongue out at his Shield, who rolls his eyes at him. "Don't insult me, that's treason."

Ignis sighs and shoves at his glasses, still aggrieved. "Your Highness, please don't insult your Shield. Such behaviour is not becoming of a king."

"Hey!" Noct scowls now, crossing his arms over his chest in betrayal. "Specs, you're supposed to be on my side."

"Right now, I'm afraid I'm on neither of your sides if the two of you can't grow up and behave like the proper adults you are."

"Ugh." Noct makes a displeased face at him, finally climbing to his feet. He's still weary, but doesn't feel like he'll collapse at any moment. "Let's just find the next hunt." He pointedly ignores Prompto, who's laughing his ass off at the three of them, and fumbles in his pocket for the chocobo whistle. He hasn't stored it in the Armiger for some time now, afraid of it _tugging_ the same way their weapons do when pulled out.

Their chocobos aren't far away, and when they arrive Noct tries to swing himself upon Merlin's back. Somehow, he misjudges and loses his grip, and finds himself sprawled on his back in the dirt, lying there stunned and struggling to take a breath, the wind knocked out of him.

"Noct! You okay, dude?" Prompto asks, sliding back off his own chocobo and coming over to Noct, holding out a hand to help him up. Noct takes it gratefully, letting Prompto pull him up, finally sucking in a deep breath.

"Yeah," he says, feeling his face heat with embarrassment at the spectacle he's made of himself. He's too tired to brush the dirt off himself, so he shrugs off Prompto's attempts to and goes back over to Merlin, successfully straddling the chocobo this time. Gladio and Ignis say nothing about his fall, though he doesn't like the worried glances they're giving him. He'd rather have Gladio making fun of him while Ignis sneaks in a snarky comment or two. He sighs, and sets Merlin in the direction of their second hunt.

The shieldshears they're seeking aren't too far away from where the saphyrtails had been, though they're scattered in between a herd of dualhorns, and Noct groans when he spots a few smaller dualhorns standing close to some larger ones. "Baby dualhorns. Great." The adults will be fiercely protective of their offspring, making the battle that much harder.

"Some blizzard magic might not go amiss," Ignis says quietly, and Noct resists the urge to groan. He tries desperately to think up some reason not to use it, but like before, comes up empty. Reluctantly, he crafts some spells, enough for them to each have two. It hurts—a faint, dull throb as he draws the magic out of himself and into the flasks. He doesn't like that it's all started hurting now. It scares him, and he doesn't want to think about what it might mean.

As predicted, the battle's tough, and he pulls more than a few potions out of the Armiger, wincing at every pinprick of pain. He's the only one who doesn't use at least one blizzard spell, but he won't tell his friends that it's because every time one of them tosses a spell, splintered shards of pain cut into him, slicing throughout his core, making him bite down on his lip in order to avoid crying out and alerting them. By the time the battle's over, his lip is raw and bloody, and he licks at it on instinct, disliking the metallic taste that hits his tongue. There's at least one more hunt for the day, maybe two if there's time, and he's not sure even his lip will survive them, never mind the rest of himself.

x x x

When they get back to the motel that evening, Noct's barely able to keep himself upright, his feet dragging with every step he takes, making him stumble a few times. Ignis has taken up permanent residence by his side, assisting him every time he falters. It's embarrassing, and frustrating, and Noct's tempted more than once to snap at Ignis to leave him alone, but instead he stays silent and bites down on his destroyed lip, ignoring the stinging pain that results. Ignis is only trying to help, and there's no need to be rude. And even though he hates to admit it, even just to himself, he _needs_ the help. On top of the exhaustion, his knee's aching from being overworked, his leftover childhood injury flaring up and making him limp slightly. If he had to walk under his own power, he'd be back in the dusty plain where they'd left the chocobos, lying in a heap on the hard, rocky ground.

"Alright, Noct?" Ignis murmurs as he helps him onto the bed. "You seem unusually exhausted."

Noct groans, catching the worried looks Prompto and Gladio are giving him as well, before throwing an arm over his eyes to block out both their stares and the harsh overhead light. "Not caught up from Titan, I guess," he says, glossing over it. "Need sleep."

None of them say anything to that, and he knows they don't fully believe him, but at least they're not challenging him on it. After a moment, Prompto calls first dibs on shower, and Noct hears Gladio grumbling as he settles himself down in one of the chairs in the corner of the room. Ignis remains standing by the bed, and Noct doesn't have to look at him to know that Ignis is assessing him, trying to determine whether he's truly fine. He sighs softly, removing his arm to meet Ignis' gaze. "My knee hurts," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper, just loud enough for Ignis to hear him. It's the truth, and Ignis doesn't have to know that it's not all of it.

At that, the creases of worry in Ignis' face smooth out to understanding, and he looks down at Noct with a sympathetic glance. "I apologise I can't do much for it."

Noct shakes his head at him. "Not your fault," he says, even as he thinks with longing of his giant walk-in tub back in his room at the Citadel, and the way Ignis would prepare it for him after a tough day of training, always managing to get the temperature just the right amount of hot, without being scalding. Of course, it's probably long-gone now, exploded to pieces along with everything else in his room, and he'll just have to make do.

Ignis nods, turning away to go figure out dinner for the four of them. Noct watches him for a moment, and then throws his arm back over his eyes, thinking back over the day. He's certain now that what's been happening to his magical core has nothing to do with Titan, or even just his magic going awry somehow. It's linked to his magic, but it's not the magic itself. It's not even his core that's the cause, not exactly. After everything he's experienced throughout the day, he knows without a doubt what it is, what's happening to him.

It's the Crystal, stealing away his life force from his core bit by bit, and he doesn't have one single clue why.

* * *

Yes, I named Noct's chocobo 'Merlin' in my game, and used it in this fic. I figure if they can have Assassin's Creed in the canon, they can have Arthurian legend as well.

Also, I know Longwythe doesn't have a shopping mart, just the truck, but... well... screw that. I wanted a mart.


	7. chapter six

Went to my concert, was right up against the stage, senpai noticed me aaah 3 Now I am back home and posting another chapter for everyone~

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter six_

* * *

"Why is it we always wind up going through dark, creepy places?" Prompto asks with a note of whine in his voice, cringing as he brushes past some cobwebs.

"Oh come now, where's your sense of adventure?" Ignis remarks, and Noct thinks he sounds way too amused given their current location. He's siding with Prompto on this one.

Still, as they pick their way through the mines, Noct has to admit it—if only privately—that it could be a lot worse. The tracks throughout the mine give them an easy path to follow, and there are old lamps scattered here and there that cast a dim glow on everything. Noct's not sure how they're still working, given that the mine's been abandoned for at least several years, but he's happy enough for a light source other than their own that he's not going to question it. Really, his biggest complaint at the moment is that he's still feeling little slices of pain every time one of them uses the Armiger, or his magic. It's unnerving, feeling the Crystal snatching at him. He supposes he should just be thankful the pain hasn't gotten any worse—when he'd first woken up this morning, he'd been afraid it would.

When they reach the end of the mines and run into a nasty, powerful daemon, however, Noct takes back every thought he had about it not being that bad. Ignis starts spouting off information shortly after the daemon attacks, no doubt having read about it at some point in one of the Citadel library's many bestiaries, but Noct doesn't see how knowing what it's called is supposed to help them fight against it any. "Who cares what it's called," he yells at Ignis. "How do we kill it?"

"It's said to be weak to lightning," Ignis calls to him, rolling to avoid an attack, and Noct doesn't hold back his groan. Just once he wants one of the Royal Arms to be _easy_ , and not leave him struggling to stand upright afterwards. Still, he hunkers down in a corner and begins to craft some lightning spells while Ignis and Prompto cover him. He really doesn't want to use them, but he has no choice. He's not ready for the others to know what's going on with him.

Once they add his magic to the mix, the battle gets intense fast. The Aramusha has a ridiculously long sword, and is quick to use it against them—and against Noct especially, in retaliation for every spell used. It gets harder and harder for Noct to dodge the swings as the battle rages on and fatigue begins to overtake him. Ignis is constantly switching between his daggers and his lance, depending on how close he is to the daemon, and every pull on his Armiger is a painful stab to his core, until finally he has to take a moment, standing off to the side of the battle and gasping at the aching hurt, willing himself to work through it.

He's just about ready to rejoin the battle when it happens. He doesn't even realise it right away. He feels the stabbing sensation in his chest, piercing through his core, feels every nerve inside him tingle before they all alight with fire, heat spreading rapidly, flames licking along the neural pathways to the pain receptors scattered throughout his body, but somehow, stupidly, he thinks it's just Ignis accessing his Armiger again. It's not until he hears Ignis' panicked screaming of his name that Noct understands something is _wrong_. He becomes aware of a wetness on his chest then, and knows it must be blood, but before he can look down at it he feels his body being _lifted_ , high up in the air, and then he slides down, ever so slightly, on the sword he's currently impaled on. Pain ripples throughout him, intense and excruciating, and he screams.

The others are yelling his name, terror in their voices, and the Aramusha is making a weird, demented noise that might be laughter, but all Noct can focus on is the sword going straight through his chest and out his back, ripping right into the middle of his core, shredding him, white hot agony radiating throughout every centimetre of him. His vision blurs, greying around the edges, dizziness swirling through him as he gets dangerously close to passing out. Someone is making breathy little gasps, pitiful high-pitched cries breaking through every now and then, but it's a long moment before he understands that it's him. His head's muddled. He thinks he might well and truly be dying. Everything hurts.

And yet, throughout the pain, he has the oddest sensation that both the Crystal _and Titan_ are angry, a rage that isn't his own briefly flashing through his mind. Before he can make sense of it, a violent shockwave bursts out of him, pulsing through the room in a heartbeat. He falls abruptly to the ground, the sword in his chest disappearing as the daemon is destroyed, and the sudden jarring impact as he lands makes him cry out. Energy crackles around the room, the magic visible as bright blue arcs of light race up and down the walls several times before dissipating.

For a moment, the only movement in the room comes from Noct, his chest heaving with his harsh breathing as he reaches a hand up to touch the hole there. It comes back bloody, and he looks at it briefly before looking to the other three, who are standing there staring at him in awe—and perhaps a bit of fright, though he doesn't want to think about that—and then Gladio's swearing, rushing over to him as Ignis and Prompto hurry behind him.

Ignis and Gladio both break elixirs over him while Prompto's hands roam frantically over his body, looking for other injuries. Noct groans at the sensation of his skin pulling tight across his chest, knitting itself back together as the potion's magic works to heal him, and he knows soon he'll have nothing more than a small scar to carry as a reminder. "I'm fine," he tells them, though the slurring in his words suggests he's not quite fine, not yet.

Prompto laughs, high-pitched and desperate. "Noct, buddy, you gotta stop scaring me like this. Thought you were a goner for sure."

Noct looks at him, his eyes still glassy with pain, and tries for a grin. It's probably ghastly-looking, but Prompto automatically smiles back anyway. "Not getting rid of me that easy," Noct tells him, and Prompto nods shakily.

"Noct," Gladio says, and Noct lolls his head to the other side, looking at his Shield. "Was that your magic that killed the daemon?"

Noctis blinks, and then shrugs, wincing at the hint of soreness still in his shoulders despite the potions. "Dunno," he says.

Ignis reaches out, and carefully eases him into a sitting position, leaning him against Gladio. "It was most curious," he says. "I've never seen magic behave in such a manner."

Noct's silent a minute, reluctant, and then, "I think it was Titan," he admits quietly. "He was... mad."

Ignis raises his eyebrows at this, but says nothing. Noct's sure how to take it. He doesn't want his friends to be afraid of him. They're all he's got left. If he loses them, he has nobody, and he can't bear the thought of being all alone in the world. He looks at them, and before he can second-guess himself he stretches his hand out to Ignis, grasping. He's more relieved than he'll ever admit when Ignis takes his hand immediately, loosely curling his fingers around it. And if Ignis looks slightly uncomfortable, well, they're all terrible at physical contact when it's just for comfort, that's all there is to it.

He sits there quietly against Gladio for some time, recovering from the battle and the fact that he'd nearly died. He's cold, now, from the blood loss, and though the potion's done its work well, his chest still aches with the phantom echoes of the gaping hole that had been in it, and his core feels... _off_ , throbbing slightly, the shadows of the Crystal and Titan's presence shifting restlessly within. It hasn't stopped being strange, to think of the Crystal as a sentient being—a sentient being that is alive _inside_ him—but that's the sense he gets from it. Thinking about Titan in the same way isn't much better, though he'd actually seen Titan as a being not too long ago.

Of course, thinking about his core reminds him of their reason for venturing into the mines in the first. "We still haven't found the tomb," he says, sighing tiredly.

"We can't be sure there is one," Ignis points out, using his free hand to adjust his glasses.

Noctis frowns, but grudgingly concedes to himself that Ignis has a point. He's going to be pissed if he's gone through all this misery for nothing though.

"I can scout around!" Prompto pipes up. "Maybe there's a hidden door around here or something. It's not like the other tombs have been open and screaming at us to come in."

Noct snorts, amused by the mental image. "Wish they would. Sure make our job easier, right Specs?"

Ignis squeezes his hand briefly. "Indeed."

Eventually, Prompto does find the tomb for them. It's tucked away behind a small crevice that's easy to miss, and Noct almost doesn't make it there. The potion's done a good job healing his wounds, but it can't replace the blood he lost, and since half of it's spilled all over the end of the mine, he finds himself weak and dizzy when he finally stands. Gladio's big hands are there to catch him when he sways, holding him steady, their warmth soothing against his chilled skin. "Thanks," he mumbles.

"Take it easy, Noct, yeah?" Gladio says, and continues to hold on to him as they make their way over to the crevice Prompto and Ignis have already started to inch through. It's slow going, and he wants for this all to be over, for the four of them to be back in their motel room where he can snuggle down into the bed and sleep for days and not have to think about the tombs, or the royal arms, or the Crystal, or the fact that his dad's dead and he probably will be soon as well. At that thought, he missteps and stumbles, but Gladio keeps him from going down. "Easy, Noct," Gladio murmurs to him.

When they at last make it over there, Noct uses the wall for support as he scrunches through the tiny crack, and soon enough he's in front of a fallen king, holding his hand out for yet another magical weapon. It unnerves him to watch the bow fly straight for his chest, but like all the other royal weapons he's collected so far, it doesn't hurt. On their way back out of the mines—which is also slow going, and rather frustrating—they run into a group of imps that had holed up in a corner on their way in. Noct knows he's in no condition to fight, so he hangs back, Ignis holding him up, while Gladio and Prompto deal with the imps. When they summon their weapons from the Armiger, the pain on his core is noticeably stronger, and he can't hold back the quick breath he sucks in, or the flinch that shudders through his body. He tenses when he feels Ignis' concerned gaze on him, afraid Ignis will start asking questions he doesn't want to answer, but his advisor says nothing, so Noct does his best to not worry about it.

x x x

As worn out as he is, Noct doesn't let himself sleep once they're back at the motel. Instead, he crawls into the shower, leaning against the wall as he lets the warm water rinse all the blood and grime off his skin. Ignis had hand-washed his only other outfit the previous night, and he puts it on thankfully once he's out, glad to have some clean clothes to wear. When he gets out of the bathroom, Ignis is on the phone. He collapses into the bed, sitting up against the headboard, and listens to the conversation, quickly realising that Ignis is talking to Cindy about the Regalia. It's clear from the frown on Ignis' face that it hasn't been found yet. Noct's stomach clenches with anxiety, and he pulls out his own phone to distract himself, bringing up Cor's number in his messages.

 _Found more arms_ , he types. _Cauthess, Balouve, Greyshire. More?_

He sends the text and waits, Cor's reply coming in a minute later. _According to hunters, Myrlwood, Thommels Glade, & Malmalam Thicket. Can send coordinates if needed._

 _Will let you know. Thanks._

"Prompto, can you hand me the map?"

"Sure thing, buddy!" Prompto rummages around in their bags, triumphantly holding the map up a moment later, and bounds eagerly over to Noct with it.

"Thanks," Noct murmurs, taking it and spreading it open.

"No prob!"

Frowning, he studies the map, his eyes picking out the locations Cor had named off. The only one somewhat close to them is Thommels Glade, and even then they'd be better off with the Regalia—or maybe having Cindy take them. "Ignis," he says loudly.

"Please do call us when you've heard back," Ignis is saying, and Noct groans.

"Ignis, don't hang up!"

"Hang on a moment," Ignis says into the phone, and then glances at Noct. "Something important, your Highness?" he asks, mild irritation in his tone.

"Yeah. Put the phone on speaker."

Ignis' forehead crinkles, but he does as requested, and Noct quickly explains what he wants to Cindy.

"Well, Highness, I got a fella here that's headin' back to Meldacio tomorrow. He could probably swing by tomorrow to pick y'all up and drop ya off where ya need ta go, but y'all'd be on your own after that."

"Okay. Thanks. Can we call you back in a little while and let you know?"

"Course ya can!" Cindy says cheerfully.

Ending the call, Noctis looks at the others, motioning them over to the bed so they can see the map as he points out the tomb's location to them. "Well? Thommels Glade isn't that far."

Everyone hesitates for a few seconds, before Gladio speaks up. "Noct, you sure you'll be up to this?"

"Perhaps it might be better for you to take a few days to rest," Ignis says. "The tombs aren't going anywhere, after all."

"I'll be fine, Iggy," Noct says dismissively. He's not sure he will, but he's sick and tired of being sick and tired. He doesn't want it to keep holding him back. "We don't know when we'll have a chance at a ride again, and we need these weapons. Look." He stabs a finger at the map. "Taelpar isn't too far from where this tomb's supposed to be. We can ride the chocobos there once we've got the weapon, and rent a room for the night, then start heading back here the next day. Wiz's ranch is on our way, we can stop there if we need to."

"It's not the rides or the distances that we're concerned about," Gladio says gruffly, crossing his arms across his chest.

Sighing, Noct looks around at the three of them, feeling guilty for the worry he sees in their faces. "I trust you guys to have my back," he says. "I'll be fine once I get some sleep."

"You've been saying that," Prompto says. "And yet—"

"And yet _what_?" Noct asks when Prompto doesn't continue. His voice is low, irritation edging his tone, and there's a hint of a glare in his eyes that's daring Prompto to say what he's thinking.

Prompto apparently decides it's not worth finishing his sentence, and glances away, mumbling, "Never mind."

Ignis lets out a put-upon sounding sigh, looking at Noct solemnly. "If you are certain about this course of action, Your Highness, I'll call Cindy and let her know of our decision to accept the ride."

Noct nods at him. "I'm certain. We can't afford to waste time."

x x x

"Noct?" Prompto's voice floats quietly through the darkened room.

Noct's been sleeping fitfully, nightmares of dying in the mines plaguing him, and he's already awake when Prompto calls to him. "Yeah?"

"I brought you back a burger from the diner," Prompto tells him, approaching the bed and settling himself carefully down next to Noct. "You feel up to eating?"

He holds back a groan, dragging himself up to a sitting position. The other three had went to the diner earlier after Ignis had called Cindy, though they'd all been reluctant to leave once they realised Noct wasn't coming with them. He'd had to point out a daemon was very unlikely to kill him in his sleep to get them to leave. He'd expected at least an hour before anyone came back, but a glance at the clock tells him it's only been half that. He looks at Prompto holding the burger out to him hopefully, and holds back another groan. As usual, he's too tired to be hungry, but he knows he needs to eat. He accepts the burger reluctantly, Prompto's quiet concern prickling at him as he unwraps it. He eats slowly, every bite an effort. He wonders if this is how his dad had felt every day, but shoves the thought away.

"You know," Prompto begins when Noct's nearly done eating. "Every morning since Insomnia fell, I wake up and think about my parents."

Guilt stabs at him, immediate and sharp. He still hasn't untangled all of his feelings about Insomnia's fall, nor has he gotten any better at asking after his friends' grief. "I'm sorry, Prompto," he says softly.

Prompto smiles, though there's nothing happy in the action. He hunches over, picking absently at loose threads on the bed covers as he talks, not looking up at Noct. "I know they're dead," he says. "They weren't home often, but—they loved me. I know they did. And they'd do whatever they could to contact me if they were still alive. They wouldn't leave me wondering."

Noct listens to him sadly, wondering which one of them his best friend is trying to convince more. He's only met Prompto's parents a couple of times, and he _does_ believe the Argentums care for their son, they just... tend to forget he exists, a lot of the time. They're always so wrapped up in their work and their own lives that they don't often spare a thought for Prompto's life. Noct's not so sure they really are dead—Prompto's house isn't all that close to the Citadel, so they could have easily missed the worst of the attack and survived, perhaps fled somewhere else, and just haven't remembered to contact their son. Not that he'll ever say that to Prompto.

"Sometimes it's really hard," Prompto says. "To get up in the morning, to go on with my day, knowing they're gone... Sometimes I just want to sleep the day away so I don't have to think about any of it. Back in school, before we were friends, I had a lot of days like that. I was always so tired. Sometimes I did end up staying in bed all day. Days now, I wish I could still do that, when it's bad."

The feelings of guilt grow worse. Noct bites down on his lip, then winces. It's still raw and sore from biting down on it during all their hunts yesterday. He tastes blood, and shoves the last bite of burger into his mouth to rid himself of the disgusting metallic tang.

"There are days when I don't want to eat either," Prompto goes on. "Because I'm too tired, and too sad, and it doesn't feel right to be eating when my parents can't."

It dawns on Noct then, why Prompto's telling him all this. It makes him feel awkward. Noct isn't a stranger to depression, having struggled with it throughout his childhood accident, and for much of his teen years. And he's not dumb, he's picked up on some of the signs in Prompto over the years, though it's been obvious that his best friend's tried hard to hide it from him. But now Prompto is telling him all this stuff, stuff he probably wouldn't have otherwise said, thinking he's suffering through a bout of depression for his dad—and okay, he's grieving some still, but so many other things have been happening that he hasn't had _time_ to really be depressed.

"Prompto, I'm not—It isn't—" He stops talking, frustrated with himself. He doesn't know how to word it. If he says he's not depressed, Prompto's going to want to know what's wrong. And he can't say. Can't worry or upset him any more than he already is. "I'm sorry," he finally says instead. "That you've been feeling that way. I've been so caught up in my own shit, I hadn't even noticed. I should have."

"It's okay, Noct," Prompto says, looking up at him and offering him a genuine smile this time. "A lot's happened. We're always going somewhere, doing something, there hasn't been time to deal with everything."

Noct shakes his head. "I should have noticed."

Prompto leans over, and nudges his shoulder. "You would have eventually." He pauses. "You know you _can_ talk to me about anything that's wrong, right? No matter what it is."

"I know," Noct murmurs, trying to ignore the guilt that's now clawing at his heart. "I promise, though, I'm fine. This trip's just turning out a lot harder than I expected. Training with Gladio daily was nothing compared to this."

Prompto smirks. "Yeah? Try training with Cor. This will feel like nothing sometimes!"

Noctis returns the smirk. "No thank you. Better you than me."

Prompto shoves playfully at him as voices outside the door alert them to Ignis and Gladio's return. Prompto bounces up from the bed to let them in, and Noct takes the chance to slide back down in the bed, exhaustion returning full force now that he doesn't need to focus on a conversation. He huddles under the blankets and closes his eyes, slowly drifting away to the low murmur of his friends' voices.

* * *

Things are gonna be coming to a head here in the next couple chapters. Noct's getting worse, and getting impaled sure didn't help.

Anyways, thanks for the reviews/faves with the last chapter, they make me giddy with glee :D Please let me know what you think of this one, if you wish!


	8. chapter seven

I apologise in advance for Gladio. Blame reddit ;D

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter seven_

* * *

It turns out the hunter giving them a ride drives a small truck, so the next morning finds Gladio and Prompto crammed into the truck's cab while Ignis and Noctis are relegated to riding in the bed of the truck amongst several stacks of crates. Noct's leaning with his back against the side of the truck, eyes closed as he tries to rest, but he can feel Ignis—who's opposite him—watching him. He tries to ignore it, but the worry radiating off Ignis is palpable.

And okay, maybe Ignis has a right to be worried. Noct had fallen as he'd tried to get out of the bed this morning, still feeling fatigued and mildly dizzy from the blood loss, and when he'd combined that with the steam from his shower, he'd nearly passed out when he'd gotten back out. It had scared Ignis half to death, so Noct can understand the worry even if he doesn't necessarily like it. But does Ignis have to be so obvious about it?

When he's exasperated enough that he can't stand the feeling of Ignis' gaze on him anymore, he speaks up. "What?"

"Pardon?"

Noct cracks open his eyes just in time to catch the confused expression cross Ignis' face. He sighs, crossing his arms across his chest. "You're staring. What is it?"

"My apologies," Ignis murmurs, lowering his eyes. "I am merely concerned for you."

"Yeah, I got that. Why?"

"Aside from the fact that you were impaled yesterday, and nearly died?" Ignis asks dryly. "My, I can't imagine what I should have to be concerned about."

Noct rolls his eyes, even as he winces at the reminder of his near-death. He really doesn't want to think about it. "Yes, actually. I know you, Iggy. You wouldn't still be worried about that, not after the elixirs healed me. You're worried about something else, and I don't want you distracted during battles while you obsess over it. So let's hear it."

Ignis gives him a look, his green eyes darkening with emotion that Noct's not sure what to make of. He's silent for a moment, before taking a deep breath and speaking. "Very well. I believe you're hiding something from us," he says bluntly. "Something more than simple exhaustion from a day of hard battles. You've spent half your lifetime training near-daily with Gladio, and occasionally myself, and should be used to such exertion, and yet by the end of every day you can barely keep yourself upright."

"Battles are harder than training—" Noct tries, but Ignis shakes his head.

"Prompto believes you are struggling with your depression again. Is he correct?"

Noct groans, burying his face into his hands for a moment. He'd managed to side-step the topic with Prompto last night, but Ignis is much more relentless, and much less easily distracted. He also can't lie to Ignis, as his advisor will see right through it. But he has nothing else to offer, no other explanation, nothing that will soothe Ignis' worry.

"There's no shame to be had if you are," Ignis says quietly. "These have been difficult times, and we've all been struggling with the loss of our families and our home. If you need medication again—"

"No!" Noct bites down on his mangled lip, feeling his face heat up. He looks away from Ignis, taking a breath, and then another, until he feels calm again, and faces his friend once more. "I don't need medication, Ignis. I'm not depressed right now." Even if he was, he'd still refuse the medication. He'd tried three different pills over the course of a year and a half starting when he was sixteen. The first had actually made him feel suicidal, and when he'd finally broken down one night a few months after starting the pills and admitted that to Ignis, his friend had been quick to bring it up to the doctors to get the prescription changed. The other two after that had at least helped his mood, but both had come with a slew of side effects he could never adjust to, and he'd finally given up on the medication, deciding it was easier to just deal with the depression as best as he could. It's never quite gone away, but there are periods where it seems to leave him alone at times, and let him feel almost normal.

"You'll excuse me if I have a hard time believing that, Noct."

"Ignis. Iggy. I _swear_ , I'm not—it isn't... I miss my dad. And it hurts a whole hell of a lot to know he saved me but not himself. I don't know how I feel about all of that yet," Noct admits, feeling the familiar lump in his throat as he thinks about his dad putting him before Insomnia for once. He blinks away the sudden tears pricking at his eyes. "But I'm not depressed. Really, Specs, when has there been _time_ to be? Maybe when all this is over I will be, but right now I just want to get to Altissia, to find Luna and figure out what comes next, figure out how to take back the Crystal and start rebuilding Insomnia."

Ignis is silent a moment, before he pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and holds it out. Noct takes it, staring at it blankly for a moment before raising his eyes to Ignis. "Your lip," Ignis says quietly, gesturing. Noct licks at it on instinct, tasting blood and realising he's broken the healing scabs open once more. He ignores the embarrassed warmth in his cheeks and wipes at the blood with the handkerchief, then crumples the silk fabric up into a little ball, clenching it in his fist.

"If I'm to believe it's not depression troubling you," Ignis says eventually, "then what _is_ the trouble? You complain frequently of being tired; however, you sleep more than the rest of us combined. At times it almost seems as if you're in pain, and yet there should be no reason for you to be."

He looks away again, gnawing on his lip some more. He's almost tempted to just come out with it, to admit the truth and tell Ignis that he thinks the Crystal is slowly killing him even though it shouldn't be without the ring. Because even though he doesn't want any of the others to worry about him, if anyone can help him figure out why such a thing is happening and how to stop it, Ignis would be the one to do it.

But he knows none of them will react well to the news, and he doesn't want them to start walking on eggshells around him, or treat him as if he's already died. Even just the thought of it is suffocating, and he knows he can't tell Ignis. He'll have to figure it out for himself. "I _am_ tired," he finally says, frustration leaking into his voice, though it's directed more at himself than Ignis. "I hear blood loss does that to a person."

"Indeed. Unfortunately for you, it does not work retroactively."

Noct frowns. "Huh?"

"You have been overly tired for days, well before you were impaled yesterday, and I believe even before you received Titan's blessing. Blood loss cannot explain that."

The truck hits a large pothole just then, before he can respond, jostling them unexpectedly as the vehicle bounces around. Noct scrabbles to hold on to something and keep himself upright, but still ends up falling to the side, his head banging hard into one of the crates next to him. "Ow..." he groans, righting himself, and then Ignis is scooting across to him, gently probing at his skull to check for any bumps or swelling.

"You'll live," Ignis declares after a moment's inspection, dropping a gloved hand back to his side.

"Wow, thanks, Specs," Noct says, keeping his voice deadpan.

Ignis sighs, moving back to his side of the truck. "Noct. I know well your penchant for keeping things bottled up. I suppose I can hardly fault you for it, as I myself am not much better at being open about the things which bother me. But if something serious has you bothered, as I suspect it does, I implore you—please do not keep it to yourself. Trust myself, and Gladio, and Prompto—trust us to help you. Whatever is burdening you, trust us to shoulder it with you. We're ever by your side, Noct, as we have always been."

"I—" For a moment, Noct actually wavers, on the verge of telling Ignis everything. Truth be told, he's fucking _terrified_ about what's happening to him. Even if he's pretty sure the Crystal is whittling away at his life force little by little, he has no idea why, and no idea of where to even start to understand why, or how to go about fixing it. He doesn't _want_ to shoulder the burden alone, doesn't want to carry around the weight of knowing that he might die even younger than his dad. And he's tired, he's so damn tired all the time, aching all over, and every stab of pain to his core drags him down further into hopeless despair until he wants to give up and hide away in bed until the Crystal finally kills him.

...Maybe Prompto and Ignis aren't so far off after all. Maybe he _is_ depressed, and he just hasn't had time to realise it. If he is, though, it doesn't change anything. He can't lie around and wallow in his fear and sorrow the way he did in the past. He has to keep going, he has to hurry up and get to Altissia and find Luna, and if he tells the truth, Ignis will insist on them slowing it down. "Thanks, Iggy," he finally says, his voice soft. "That means a lot." He doesn't offer anything else, but nor does he try to insist he's fine. Ignis will pick up on that, but Noct can give him at least that much. Ignis has been a far better friend to him over the years than he's deserved.

Ignis studies him, his face softening as he understands what Noct is telling him, and eventually he nods. "When you wish to talk about it, I shall be right here to listen," he says softly.

Noct manages a smile for him, though he doesn't believe he'll ever be able to talk to Ignis about it. "I know."

x x x

"This is it?" Prompto asks in disbelief, halting as he sends his gun back into the Armiger. He strides up to the tomb they've finally reached after a long-seeming drive, waving his arms around frantically. "Where's the creepy cave we have to crawl through for hours? Where's all the daemons that are hellbent on killing us? Where's the secret passage to the tomb that we only discover after running past it fifty-nine times?"

"Why are you complaining?" Gladio asks, rolling his eyes as he flicks his own weapon back into Noct's arsenal. "You should be glad it's easy for once."

"Fifty-nine?" Noct remarks, scrunching up his forehead as he looks as his best friend. "Why fifty-nine?"

"I dunno. It's a nice, even number!"

"...No it's not."

"Well it probably divides into a nice, even number! Why are you hating on my number choice, Noct?!"

"Fifty-nine is prime," Ignis says, cutting into the ridiculous conversation. "It doesn't divide by anything other than itself and one. Now, the tomb if you please, Noct."

"Reminds me of a joke I heard once," Gladio says. "What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?"

Prompto appears to give it some serious thought, before shrugging. "I give, big guy. What?"

"The higher they are, the more spaced out they get."

There's silence for a long moment, before Ignis groans, removing his glasses and pinching his nose between his thumb and pointer finger.

"That," Noct says, "is _terrible_. I'm firing you as my shield."

"Can you do that?"

Noct shrugs at Prompto carelessly. "Technically I'm king now, so I can do whatever I want."

"Wait, I've got another one," Gladio says. "What do prime numbers and teenage girls have in common?" He pauses briefly before continuing with the answer. "Both of them can't even."

"...If you're quite done?" Ignis asks after another silence, cleaning his glasses one last time before putting them back on.

"You heard those from Nyx, didn't you?" Noct asks accusingly.

"Libertus, actually," Gladio tells him, smirking.

"Whatever. I'm still firing you."

Ignis sighs, sounding truly aggrieved. "Gentleman, please. Let's get on with it, shall we? We came here for a reason, after all."

"Yeah, yeah, hold your chocobos, Specs," Noct grumbles, heading towards the tomb. Gladio's jokes were dumb, but he'd been glad for the distraction just the same, and appreciates him for it. The couple of battles they'd gotten into while on the path to the tomb have tired him out more than he wants to admit, especially given that he doesn't feel the least bit recovered from having been impaled. And though obtaining any of the royal arms hasn't hurt so far—which he finds weird, though he can't be upset by it—he still hates the feeling of the Crystal's power growing inside him, so he's not looking forward to going in that tomb and subjecting himself to it.

Despite that, he can't help but feel a hint of pride when the shield joins with the other royal arms in his Armiger. He does his best to ignore the Crystal's shifting, to ignore the sense that his core is expanding slightly, and the faint whisper that hums in elation across his mind. When they're back outside, he whistles for the chocobos, and soon they're setting off for Taelpar. It's only early afternoon—they'd all anticipated spending several hours retrieving the shield, which thankfully didn't happen—and they could probably make it to Wiz's ranch if they wanted, but tonight he'd rather sleep in a motel than in a cramped caravan, so he sticks to the original plan.

It's only half an hour before they run into a group of hundlegs, and Noct reluctantly slides off Merlin's back, already grimacing with pain as the others retrieve their weapons. It's worse than before, and he doesn't think it's a coincidence. The same thing had happened when he'd collected the bow. The realisation leaves a knot of anxiety low in his stomach, but he can't do anything about it. He has to fight.

He keeps it simple, staying mostly defensive and attacking only when there's an opening. He doesn't warp at all, and any time one of the others pulls a different weapon out of the Armiger, he tries hard to hide the resultant pain. He can't hide the missteps and stumbles, though, and he doesn't miss the concerned glances from Gladio, or the way Ignis sticks close to him, blocking attacks that he fails to notice until it's almost too late. Guilt at worrying his friends is also weighing him down, making it harder to focus on the battle at hand, and fearful thoughts about what's happening to him are constantly running through his mind.

By the time they reach Taelpar two hours later, there's a lingering ache in his chest that stubbornly refuses to fade, and he's unable to hold himself up, slumping against Merlin's neck, his face buried in the soft feathers. Ignis' worried gaze is upon him once more, and this time he's joined by Gladio and Prompto. Noct would be annoyed by it, if he wasn't so exhausted. He's considered again telling Ignis the truth, but if he's completely honest with himself, he's not sure there's anything even Ignis can do to keep the Crystal from leeching away at his life force, and he doesn't want any of them to kill themselves trying to help him.

At the same time though, at the rate he's going, he's not sure if he'll be able to keep it up much longer, to keep hiding the truth, because it's obvious there's something wrong with him and apparently none of them are willing to buy his excuses any longer. He wouldn't either though, so he finds he can't truly be annoyed with them.

"Okay, who's hungry?" Prompto asks once they've rented a room for the night.

"I think we could all use a bite to eat," Ignis says, casting a troubled glance in Noct's direction. Now that they've lost the chocobos, he's slumped over one of the tables outside the motel, head buried in his arms and fighting desperately to stay awake until they get into the room.

"We hitting up the diner?" Gladio asks, but Ignis shakes his head.

"No, I'd rather we spend our gil on something healthier for once. I'll run to the mart, and pick up some ingredients to prepare us a meal. Prompto, would you care to accompany me?"

"Sure thing!"

"Noct and I will be at the motel, then," Gladio says, tapping Noct on one shoulder. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Somehow, Noctis finds the energy to drag himself up out of the chair and follow Gladio into their room. It's hard. Every step he takes feels as if he's wading through a pool of cement, and he can feel Gladio's impatience when he reaches the room first and stands there waiting, holding the door open. As soon as Noct finally makes it inside, he heads over to the bed and falls into it with a groan, not caring if he's worrying Gladio. He doesn't bother to remove his clothes or get under the blankets, just stretches out and closes his eyes. Ten seconds later, he's asleep.

x x x

When he wakes a few hours later, Noct feels disgusting. He's had several nightmares that have left him feeling even _more_ exhausted, and he's sweat heavily in his sleep, so that his clothes are now sticking to him uncomfortably, practically melding themselves to his skin. His hair's soaked with sweat as well, and has plastered itself to his forehead, leaving it feeling itchy. He's also still covered in blood and guts from their battles, and dirty from travelling two hours through the Duscaean landscape. In short, he really needs a shower.

"Ah, Noct, you're awake," Ignis says when Noct announces his return to the waking world with a grunt as he attempts to sit up. "I've saved you some food."

"I want to shower first," he mumbles.

Ignis nods. "Understandable. The rest of us have not had a chance to shower, so try not use all of the hot water, if you please."

Noct doesn't respond, choosing instead to slip out of the bed and towards the bathroom, pausing only long enough to grab his other outfit that Ignis has once again washed for him. Once he's in the tub, he finds that he's so tired he barely has the energy to wash himself. He manages to get his hair clean, but as he rinses the last of the shampoo from it he realises he can't stand up a minute longer. He sinks to the floor of the tub, curling up against the wall and letting the water run over his body as he closes his eyes.

The lingering ache in his chest from earlier is still present, and he's sore all over from the battles he's been put through for the past few days. He can feel the sobs building, and lets a few quiet ones go, hoping the shower is enough to keep the others from hearing him. He doesn't want to feel like this anymore, doesn't want all of this to keep happening. He's so tired of dealing with it all. He so desperately wants everything to be done and over with—or even better, to have never happened in the first place. He'd give anything to be back in his apartment in Insomnia, or even in his rooms at the Citadel, to have his dad alive and busy with the day-to-day dealings of keeping Insomnia taken care of, while Ignis nagged him to get more involved in the politics of running a country, and Gladio pestered him to get just a couple more hours of training in even as Prompto texted him to see if he was down for hanging out and playing a bit of the latest game in the Assassin's Creed series.

But even if he pulls a miracle out of nowhere and survives all this craziness and reclaims Insomnia, reclaims the throne... well, it's never going to be like that again, is it? It's all gone. The Citadel's gone, and his rooms and all his things with it, and his _dad_ is gone, and Clarus, and likely many of the Crownsguard and Kingsglaives, and even many of the regular citizens that worked in the Citadel, all the maids and gardeners and cooks and assistants... A lot of them probably didn't survive, so even if he takes back Insomnia and rebuilds the Citadel, he'll have to get all new people, all new things, and it'll just be a further reminder of everything that's been lost.

Of course, if the Crystal keeps up its madness, he may not survive to even steal back it back, much less have a chance at rebuilding Insomnia. The pain and exhaustion just keep growing and growing, and he can't keep up with it. He doesn't know how to stop it either. But he doesn't want to die though, not yet. He's spent too long watching his dad slowly die to think he'll be able to have a long life, but he's supposed to have a good thirty or forty years left. There's still much so he wants to do with his life and he's not ready to lose his chance.

More soft sobs slip out, tears sliding down his cheeks only to be washed away with the water. A paralysing weight grips him, making it hard to breathe, and he finds himself pressing a hand heavy against his chest, struggling to force a full breath out. Everything feels so hopeless suddenly, and he can't find a reason for why he keeps on going. It's so pointless, and he just keeps getting more and more useless, all he's doing is dragging the others down and making them worry about him, and he's too much of a fucking coward to even tell them _why_ they're worrying. They don't know that he's apparently _dying_ , they just think he's going through yet another stupid bout of depression...

He laughs quietly through his tears, though he feels no humour in the situation. It looks like Prompto and Ignis are going to be right after all, because he's been through this enough to recognise that his depression's returning full force, hitting him _hard_ , hard enough that if he were home he'd hole up in his apartment for weeks without bothering to take care of himself while Ignis looked after him and quietly fretted. And even though he's not home anymore, even though there is no home to return to, he's tempted to fall back into his old habits anyway. If he just sleeps the days away at the motel, refusing to leave, what are the others really going to do?

Another sob escapes, remembering just how he gets when he's in such a low state. He barely changes clothes, barely showers, barely eats, never picks up after himself, leaves trash scattered everywhere because the garbage can is too far away... and it isn't because he's lazy, as people have tried to tease him about before. It's because the thought of even just getting out of bed for the day feels like a monumental effort, one that requires more energy than he possesses, and doing something like taking a shower is an impossibility most days. Even doing the things he normally enjoys, such as playing video games—it's too difficult. When he thinks about all that's involved in just setting up a video game, never mind playing it—it's _exhausting_.

He hates it. He hates getting that way, and he knows that Ignis and Gladio have gotten frustrated with him in the past, when he's gotten like that, even though Ignis at least seems to understand that he can't always help it, that even when he's medicated it's so damn hard to fight through it all. And even though it's so tempting to crawl in bed and sleep for days, he doesn't want to get that way now, doesn't _want_ to cope with his brain hating him when he's already got so much else to cope with.

"Noct!" Prompto bangs on the door, startling him out of his misery. He jerks his head, hitting it against the tiled wall, and bites his lip to keep from crying out as dull pain blossoms in his skull. Between this and the crates from the morning truck ride, he's definitely going to have a bruise. It's just one more thing that's going to hurt. "Are you going to hog all the hot water?" Prompto continues.

He clears his throat, hoping it doesn't sound obvious that he's been in the shower sobbing like a pathetic child instead of the twenty year old he is. "Be right out," he calls to Prompto. Still, it takes him several long minutes to lean over and shut the water off, and even longer still to actually stand back up and get out of the tub. It doesn't matter that he's been telling his body to move the whole time, it's simply too wrought with sorrow and fatigue to listen to his commands.

When he finally comes out of the bathroom, he waves off the food Ignis starts to give him. He has no appetite, and he knows from past experience if he attempts to eat anyway it'll just taste like cardboard, and sit uncomfortably heavy in his stomach for hours. He drops back into the bed, burying his face into the pillow there, and tries desperately to keep from falling apart.

* * *

Noct being depressed wasn't in my outline at all, other than Prompto thinking he was (neither was having him impaled though, originally, I guess I really just wanna whump the poor boy). Anyways, not sure where I'll take this part of it, but I don't plan on it going off the rails. The major focus of this fic is still that the Crystal's killing him even without the Ring of Lucii.

Thank you for the comments on the last chapter! I love them! Keep them coming :D


	9. chapter eight

Brace yourself, yet more Noct whump incoming. I don't let this poor boy catch a break.

...Don't lie, it's why you're all here, isn't it? It's okay, so am I! lol but really I love all you guys, thanks for sticking with me!

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter eight_

* * *

"Noct! Watch out!" Gladio barks, grasping his arm and flinging him sideways just in time to save him from being speared by a spiracorn's pointy horn.

Noctis grunts as he lands against a large rock jutting out of the ground, its pointy edges scraping painfully along his side, shredding his skin. He musters up a glare for Gladio, who's holding out a hand to help him up while Ignis and Prompto draw the large beast away. "Thanks a lot," he mutters sarcastically as he accepts Gladio's hand.

"Better than being dead," Gladio shoots back, hauling him to his feet. "Seriously, Noct, get your head in the game here."

"I am!" Noct snaps. "I just didn't sleep well last night. Lay off!"

"Newsflash, princess: None of us have been sleeping well lately. You don't see us nearly getting ourselves killed every battle because of it."

Noct grits his teeth, resisting the urge to lash out further at his Shield. It's his own fault that Gladio doesn't understand. He turns away, recklessly tossing his sword at the spiracorn's flank and sending his body hurtling after it, just wanting to get away from Gladio before he says or does something stupid.

He regrets it the moment his feet leave the ground. He knows he shouldn't be warping. Yet he'd done it anyway, and now it's all he can do not to scream as his body feels like it's being crushed into pieces, making it impossible to breath. His core's shattering into a mess of pain, and he loses his grip on his sword as he lands, slamming hard into the spiracorn's side before crumpling down to the ground. The spiracorn brays loudly in anger, kicking out at him with a powerful hind leg and catching him hard in the chest.

He lets out a choked off cry, gasping desperately as he scrabbles backwards in the dirt on his ass, trying to get away from those dangerous legs still kicking at him. A hoof slams into his shoulder, knocking him off balance, and he goes tumbling on his back. The spiracorn neighs triumphantly, swinging around to face him, rearing up as Noct stares at it in terror. In his mind, he's willing his body to _move_ , to get away from it, but he can only lay there frozen with fear as it stomps back down onto him, its hooves digging hard into his chest, breaking his ribs.

For a moment, he doesn't react—and then the pain hits. Noct screams, loud.

Almost immediately, three shots ring out in quick succession, catching the beasts in its side, and then Gladio's rushing back over, swinging his broadsword powerfully at the spiracorn, sending it flying a few metres across the rocky terrain.

"Fuck!" Noct takes several shallow, rapid breaths, his eyes shut tight and his face pinched. Wetness trickles down his cheeks. He knows he only has himself to blame, but just the same, he'd really like to catch a break. He curls his his fingers into his hands, letting his fingernails dig deep into his palms, until he feels a wetness there too and knows he's drawn blood. Unfortunately, it's not enough to distract from the pain of broken ribs, and he's unable to help the pathetic little whimpers that make their way out of him as the agony in his chest intensifies when he shifts, wanting to sit up. His eyes snap open when he hears movement near him, afraid another spiracorn's come after him, but it's only Ignis approaching, potions held in his hand.

"Don't move, Noct," Ignis says quietly, kneeling down next to him.

"Iggy," Noct gasps. A few sobs escape him, and he squeezes his eyes closed again, feeling his face heat up. It's not so much the pain that has him crying, but everything else he's feeling. He can't deal with all of it anymore. Depression's clawing at him again, and he wants to curl up in a ball and ignore the world.

"Shh," Ignis murmurs, busting a hi-potion over him. He gives it a moment before busting a second one open, and then Noct feels gloved fingers carding gently through his hair, soothing him, although he's not quite sure if he's just imagining it in his haze of pain. Ignis typically offers physical comfort when it's only the two of them, and even then rarely so. Noct lays there quietly as his bones begin to mend themselves back together, occasional moans slipping out when the pain gets to be too much. He's still crying too, tears slowly sliding silently down his face, and he hates that Ignis is seeing him like this, hates how ashamed and embarrassed he feels, but those fingers are still running repeatedly through his hair, so he figures Ignis must not mind.

Somewhere off to his right, an excited yell that's undeniably Prompto rings out, and then Gladio's voice calls "Good one!" They're clearly managing the battle fine without him and Ignis, and he should be relieved that they're handling themselves, but instead he's ashamed—he should be alongside them, helping take down the beasts, but he's useless, letting himself be distracted and unfocused so that he keeps fucking up, keeps getting himself in trouble so that they have to save his worthless hide.

"I'm sorry," he chokes out suddenly. "I'm sorry. Ignis—"

"Shh." Ignis hushes him again. "Take your time to recover."

"I'm sorry," he repeats insistently. "I fucked up. It's my fault. I'm sorry." He opens his eyes then, reaching his hand up to grip onto Ignis' arm tightly as he looks into Ignis' startled face, meeting that confused green gaze. He needs Ignis to understand, to tell him that it's okay, to know that he fucked up and everything's going to shit but it's fine, it's all fine because he _needs_ it to be fine. "I fucked up," he says again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have warped. I'm _sorry_ Ignis."

"Come now, there's no need to blame yourself, Noct," Ignis says, at last pulling his hand away from Noct's head, and Noct will forever deny that he lets out a small mewl at the loss of that particular contact. "Accidents happen, battles are unpredictable—"

"No." Noct cuts him off, frustration edging into his voice. He lets go of Ignis to scrub at his lessening tears. The pain's beginning to recede now as the potions finish up their work, and he gingerly sits up, groaning at the lingering soreness. He says nothing else, taking deep breaths and relishing in the feeling of his lungs filling up fully, exhaling slowly.

A few minutes later, Gladio and Prompto come back over to them, having dispatched the last of the spiracorns. "What the hell was that, Noct?" Gladio asks, folding his arms across his chest and scowling down disapprovingly.

"Nothing," Noct mutters sullenly, looking away from Gladio's glare. "I messed up my warp."

"Yeah? You seem to be messing up a lot lately. What the hell is going on with you?" Gladio growls.

"Nothing! Can't a guy make a mistake without getting slammed for it?"

"Guys, come on..." Prompto says, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he looks anxiously between them.

"Mistake? Almost dying for at least the third time is hardly a _mistake_ , Noct!"

"I wasn't dying!"

"No? Get your head out of your ass, _Your Highness_. That spiracorn would have trampled you if Prompto and I hadn't saved your sorry hide!"

"Yeah, well, that's your job, isn't it?" Noct spits at him. He's glaring fiercely at Gladio now, eyes burning with angry tears that he refuses to let fall.

"It's not my job to save someone who can't even make an effort to save himself. Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed? Because if you are, let me know so I don't waste my time trying to stop you!"

"Fuck you! Of course I'm not!"

"Guys, _please_ , stop this," Prompto pleads, but they both ignore him.

"Could have fooled me."

" _Gladio_." Ignis is firm, the tone of his voice brooking no argument. "Your words are uncalled for."

Gladio shakes his head, irritation still present in the lines of his face. "You're too soft on him, Iggy," he mutters, and stomps off in the direction of the chocobo ranch—where'd they been heading before they'd tripped over the spiracorns and garnered their ire.

Noct watches him go, his heart heavy with hurt and his eyes stinging as he tries to keep the tears at bay. Gladio's words had cut deep. The only time he's ever had thoughts about wanting to kill himself was when he'd been on that first medication, and even then the thoughts had scared him. He doesn't want to die, and certainly not by his own hand. That Gladio could suggest something like that—and worse, imply that he'd let it happen...

Some of his thoughts back then had involved being sure that Ignis and Gladio didn't care about him, that they were only friends with him because they had to be, and that they wouldn't mind at all if he just... wasn't there anymore. Ignis had told him repeatedly it wasn't true, after Noct had admitted it all to him, and Noct had eventually believed him, but now Gladio's words are bringing all those old doubts flaring back up. _Would_ Gladio be happier if he was gone? Does Gladio hate him? A few tears leak out, unbidden. He doesn't want to think such things.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, Noct," Prompto says softly, looking at him apprehensively.

Noct says nothing, swiping angrily at his eyes, sniffling a couple of times. He fumbles in his pocket for the chocobo whistle, climbing carefully up on Merlin's back when the birds arrive. Prompto glances at him uncertainly, then urges his chocobo ahead, catching up to Gladio in the distance, who's climbing on his own chocobo.

"Prompto is right," Ignis says quietly as their chocobos start off on a steady trot. "Gladio has no desire to see you dead. He simply becomes dumb when he's scared."

"I don't wanna die, Specs."

"I'm well aware, Noct. As is Gladio. He cares for you, sincerely. I believe it's himself that he's truly angry with."

"Why? He hasn't done anything," Noct mutters.

"And that is precisely the problem. He knows something is wrong, Noct," Ignis says, his voice serious. "We all do. Whether it's depression, or something else, he feels helpless that he's unable to do anything for you, and that he's unable to keep you from getting badly injured these last few days."

"He's _saved_ me!" Noct exclaims, his voice rising with incredulity. "He should be glad, not mad!"

Ignis sighs. "Gladio takes his job as your shield very seriously. I believe he feels that it should have been him getting injured in your place, and that he feels he has failed in his task of protecting you. Seeing you badly hurt and in obvious pain... it's rather terrifying, Noct. For all of us. Now, allow me to reiterate: Gladio becomes dumb when he's scared."

"He hasn't failed me. None of it is his fault."

"He knows that, truly. Perhaps give him time to calm down, and then remind him of it."

"Yeah," Noct agrees, though privately he's not sure he really wants to. Even if Gladio hadn't meant it, his words had still hurt. Noct doesn't know if he can let that go so easily.

x x x

A couple of hours later, Noct's relieved when Ignis decides they ought to stop for lunch. He's ready for a break. There aren't any havens nearby, but they manage to find a fairly flat rock to climb up on. It's out in the open and high up enough that they've got a good vantage point to see anything approaching, so Noct feels safe in sitting there.

Lunch is chicken and egg rice bowl, which is usually one of his favourites, but today it merely tastes like ashes in his mouth, and he eats it mechanically, not in the least bit hungry. Things between him and Gladio are still tense, and he's feeling the awkwardness. When he's eaten as much as he can stand, he shoves the bowl away and leans back into Merlin's side, stretching his legs in front of him and closing his eyes. They don't have a lot of time to waste, but Ignis will probably allow him a short nap. He's so tired...

The sudden, sharp yanking on his core makes his eyes fly open, jolting him out of the light doze he'd been in. He glances around frantically, looking for the danger, and finally notices that Prompto's pulled his gun out and is fiddling absently with it, clearly bored. Great. Irritated, Noct shuts his eyes again. A few minutes later, there's another tug of pain, and then another not even a minute later. Apparently Prompto has found amusement in making his gun disappear and reappear from the Armiger.

Grimacing, Noct does his best to ignore it and go back to sleep, but the more Prompto does it, the more the pain grows, and it's impossible to sleep through. He tries taking steady, deliberate breaths, exhaling slowly, but the pulls on his core keep getting sharper, and his breaths comes faster, getting choppy. He swallows, gritting his teeth against the urge to cry out, not wishing to alert the others.

"Is everything alright, Noct?"

Of course Ignis has noticed. "I'm fine," he says, but he's unable to help the wince that overtakes him when Prompto pulls his gun out yet again.

"Yeah, Noct, you look completely fine. Not at all in pain right now," Gladio says, annoyed disgust in his tone.

"I said I'm fine!" Noct snarls at him, opening his eyes to glare at Gladio as he leans forward.

"Gladio," Ignis says wearily, and Gladio rolls his eyes, turning his attention to checking the saddle on his chocobo.

Noct glares at his back some more for good measure, then resettles himself against Merlin's soft feathers. Prompto's stopped messing with his gun while he and Gladio snapped at each other, and he's hoping he can finally get a nap in now. The pain's fading now that the arsenal isn't being accessed, so it shouldn't be too hard to drift off. He's floating in a pleasant haze of being almost asleep when Prompto takes his gun out again.

Sharp pain flares back up in Noct's core immediately, and he can't hold back his groan. "Dammit Prompto leave your gun alone!" he yells, unable to take to take it anymore. "Stop messing with my Armiger!"

His best friend's eyes widen as he drops his gun, startled by Noct's sudden shouting. "Uh... sorry, Noct," he says quietly, a hurt look flashing across his face. He picks up the weapon, returning it to the Armiger, and then huddles up against his own chocobo, hugging his knees. Arthur lets out a soft kweh of distress, adjusting a red-feathered wing to tuck it protectively around Prompto.

Noct sighs, guilt pricking at him as he looks at Prompto's forlorn form. He hadn't meant to yell at him. Now he's got two people and a _chocobo_ upset with him. Could the day get any worse?

x x x

The answer to that, Noct realises wearily several hours later, is yes. Umbra had been waiting for them when they'd finally gotten to Wiz's ranch, and they'd then spent the next three hours running around in the woods so he could touch some runestones and get the Fulgarian's blessing. It had sucked—hearing Gentiana's voice in his head had given him a headache, although thankfully not as bad as the one he'd gotten with Titan, and when Ramuh's power had finally joined in with the Crystal's and Titan's power, his core had pulsed painfully. It had been brief, disappearing almost as quickly as it had come on, but it had been enough that Ignis had noticed, asking after him again. And of course Gladio had gotten irritated when Noct had brushed it aside, dismissing the concern.

Noct sighs, dropping into one of the plastic chairs in front of the ranch's cafe, slumping in a boneless heap down over the table. At least Prompto had forgiven him, once Noct had finally sucked it up and apologised to him.

Ignis' phone rings, and Noct listens absently as he answers it, perking up once he realises his advisor is talking to Cindy. He watches Ignis' face, hoping for clues about the conversation, but Ignis' expression remains neutral. Noct prays to the Six that she's found the Regalia for them. Aside from not wanting to lose the car, he's sick of having to walk or ride the chocobos everywhere. "Well?" he demands impatiently once Ignis has hung up.

"It is as we feared," Ignis tells him. "The Imperial army has it in their possession. It seems it's currently at a base not too far from here. Cor shall be texting you the coordinates soon."

Gladio grunts. "We gonna get it?" he asks, folding his arms across his chest.

Noct's phone chimes, and he pulls out it, bringing up Cor's text. Prompto spreads their map out, and they all gather around it, scouring it for the location of the base. "Hey, it's not too far. We could totally get it today, Noct!" Prompto says.

"We ought to check it out before we go barging in," Ignis points out. "It would be wise to scout it from a distance, and come up with a strategy. We don't want to find ourselves captured, or killed."

Gladio nods, tracing his finger from the location of the base to an area nearby. "There's a haven right here," he says. "It should be just close enough to see the base, and just far enough away that we won't get spotted, if we're careful."

"We'll head out then," Noct decides. The last thing he wants to do for the end of his day is take on a bunch of MTs, but he's anxious to have the Regalia in their possession again, and would prefer to get it over with as fast as possible.

"Oh man, can we at least eat first?" Prompto whines. "I'm starving, buddy!"

Noct rolls his eyes. He still has no appetite, but it's been hours since any of them have eaten, and if nothing else, he'll need the energy to get him through the upcoming battles. "Fine."

"Alright!" Prompto cheers, thrusting a fist into the air. "One triple decker sandwich, coming up!"

x x x

Infiltrating another Imperial base is a lot harder than Noct remembers it being. There's so many MTs around, and though the four of them do their best to stick to Ignis' plan and remain hidden as they sneak throughout the base, they're spotted not long after they finally get the Regalia in their sights. In what seems like no time at all, they're being swarmed by MTs and fighting for their lives.

"On your left!" Gladio barks, and Noct whirls just in time, jabbing his lance into an MT's stomach, watching the fluid pouring out of it as it collapses to the ground. He shoves his lance through its head then, just to make sure it's dead, shuddering slightly at the inhuman scream it lets out, and at the red sparks that crackle all over its body. Whatever MTs really are, they're downright creepy.

"Noct, duck!" Prompto yells at him, even as he frantically shoots at an MT approaching him, and Noct does so, feeling the whistle of air as another MT swings his axe at his head. He springs back up, taking that one out, and then twists to his right, bringing his lance up to block the swing of a sword from yet another MT. A sudden stinging pain in his left arm lets him know he's been nicked by a different MT, and he growls in frustration. There's just too damn many of them.

Gritting his teeth, he tosses his lance at a nearby watch tower, and sends himself hurtling after it in a warp. The pain's more than he's expecting, but he manages to keep his grip on his weapon, and drags himself up over the railing on to the tower. He easily takes out the lone MT up there that's attacking him, and then hunkers down, taking a moment to catch his breath. He's already exhausted, soaked in sweat, his clothes clinging uncomfortably to his skin, and he knows the sharp ache in his core is only going to get worse. Blood's trickling out of the slice in his arm in a steady flow, but he ignores it, scanning for an ideal place to warp again. There'll be time for potions later, if he survives this night.

He spots an opening then, a place where the MTs aren't quite so crowded, and throws his lance down into the fray, following after it. His body sends the MT he'd targeted sprawling to the ground, his weight driving the sharp point of his weapon deep into its chest. It screams, and he hops up, spinning around to catch another one, then warp strikes on a third one that nearly knocks Ignis out with a blow to the head from its gun. He yanks a potion out of the Armiger, breaking it over his advisor, and watches anxiously for a moment to make sure that Ignis is okay. "Come on, Iggy," he mutters, as Ignis blinks dazedly at him, the confusion in his eyes clearing slowly.

"Thank you," Ignis says a few minutes later, breathing heavily, and Noct simply nods before focusing his attention on the battle once more.

He warps after another MT, a moment of dizziness overtaking him when he lands, but he shakes it off and stabs his lance. He's backing off from the MT, preparing to warp at another one, when a sword slides neatly into his side, piercing deeply into the skin before withdrawing. "Shit," he chokes out, feeling blood start to pour out of the wound. Fire blazes along his nerves, and he swings his lance wildly as he drops to his knees, feeling the weapon dig into something solid. The unearthly scream that rings out tells him he's hit his mark. He touches a hand to his side, crying out when even that slight contact makes the pain intensify.

"Easy, Noct." Gladio's there suddenly, busting a potion against the wound, kneeling down and wrapping his big arms around Noct, holding him up. "I'm not going to let you die on my watch."

Noct looks up, meeting Gladio's serious gaze, knowing that Gladio means it for more than just this moment. He swallows hard, blinking back sudden tears, feeling a little pathetic with just how much Gladio's words mean to him. He nods, and with Gladio's help climbs to his feet, the potion having taken care of the majority of the wound, though it unfortunately can't do anything for the blood he's lost.

"Alright?" Gladio asks, and Noct nods again. Gladio claps him on the shoulder, nodding back, and then pulls his sword from the Armiger once more, throwing himself back into the battle. Noct winces at the pain when Gladio retrieves his sword, but at this point he's almost used to it, and is able to pay it little mind as he rejoins the battle himself.

Things begin to get hectic fast after that, the MTs seemingly endless, and then some of the larger mech units start showing up as well, making the battle even more difficult. Ignis and Prompto start making use of some blizzard spells that have been stored away in the Armiger, and every draw on his core makes Noct gasp with pain. He's warping almost non-stop by now, each successive one leaving him more and more dizzy.

"Noct, focus your effort on the generator!" Ignis shouts to him at one point. "There is a chance doing so will weaken the MTs!"

"Got it!" he calls back, and begins aiming his warps at the MTs to create a path to the generator. He feels weak and drained, and his head's swimming, nausea rising in his stomach, agony screaming throughout every part of his body, but he doesn't let up. He doesn't want to keep fucking up, doesn't want to make more trouble for his friends or let them down any more. He has to keep going.

By the time he nears the generator, the world's tilting dangerously, his vision blurring and darkening around the edges, but Noct refuses to pass out. He can feel the Crystal clawing at him, digging in deep, shredding his core, and his world's rapidly narrowing to fear and despair and pain—he doesn't want to die, he doesn't want the Crystal to kill him yet—but he fights through it desperately, chest heaving with sharp breaths and acid bile bubbling up in his throat. He's stumbling, swaying, warping, warping, energy's crackling all around him, inhuman screams echoing everywhere, warping, warping—

It's not enough, he needs more power, his lance isn't getting the job done, the generator's too strong—

He pulls the Swords of the Wanderer out of his Armiger, feeling the Crystal burrow even deeper into his core, tearing him into tattered pieces. He cries out at the pain, stumbling, but somehow remains upright enough to combine the swords into a single blade that he swings powerfully at the generator. A large dent appears in its side, but it's _still_ not enough, so he braces himself, throwing the blade at it, warping through the pain, and again, and again, again again again—

And then the generator's down, at last.

"On three!" he dimly hears Ignis call, and Noct has only seconds to wonder what that's about when he hears the simultaneous shattering of three flasks, and then an ice cold breeze is sweeping throughout the base, and _fuck it hurts_. The wrenching on his core is excruciating, and he leans against the destroyed generator, trying to stay upright. He needs to know it's safe before he allows himself to pass out.

When the frost clears, he's relieved to see all the MTs seem to be gone, and he looks around for his friends. He spots Prompto first, cheering and bouncing around enthusiastically while Ignis and Gladio are making their way towards the generator—and then he realises there's an MT still standing behind Prompto, axe in hand as it prepares to swing, and Prompto's turning but he's not fast enough, he's not going to be in time, so Noct does the only thing he can think of—he throws his sword and warps.

He screams when he lands, loud and long, until his throat's hoarse and there's hardly any noise coming out of him. He barely notices the MT's gone down, because all he can focus on is the agony of feeling like his very _being_ is ripping apart—and it hurts, it hurts it hurts it _hurts_.

"Noct!" Prompto's crying his name in alarm, rushing over to him, Ignis and Gladio running back towards them.

He stops screaming, and tries to stand instead, but he's so dizzy and in so much pain, he can't hardly breathe, he feels torn apart, he can't get to his feet—

He starts throwing up, and it's painful, his throat in pieces, and as if his insides are coming up along with his dinner—and then large splatters of red splash on to the ground, and he stares even as he continues to vomit, because was that _blood_ he just threw up?

"Noct, buddy, you're okay, don't you dare die!" Prompto babbles frantically at him.

Noct feels his best friend pull a potion from the Armiger, and screams again, louder than before. He heaves one last time, more blood spattering to the ground, and then his eyes roll back in his head as he slumps down, at last losing the battle with consciousness.

* * *

When the fic you're writing is supposed to be gen but then your love for IgNoct starts leaking out.

(gifs of Joey from friends saying "I'm not even sorry!" and "Those two had only each other!" are supposed to be here, sigh. One of these days I will just post exclusively on AO3.)

Nah, don't worry though, it'll stay pretty much gen. If there are moments that _seem_ like IgNoct, they are just really close friends.

As always, all the follows/reviews/faves are so, so appreciated! Like I get so damn happy when I read the lovely comments you guys leave, or see that someone has favourited this. I know this fic is kind of slow paced, and I've been really insecure each chapter about whether it's going to be received well, so it means so much to me to see that people are enjoying it, especially as I enjoy writing it. So yeah, just... thank you guys :3


	10. chapter nine

It's Prompto's birthday today! (Or yesterday, depending on what part of the world you live in...) Either way, in celebration, you guys get a new chapter~ Even though it has nothing to do with Prompto's birthday, ha. Still, I've been both excited and nervous to upload this chapter since I finished it some time last week. I know it won't please everyone, but I hope at least most of you find it satisfying.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter nine_

* * *

It's a strange sense of deja vu when Noctis pries his eyes open, fighting through the confusion and pain to wake up. It takes only moments for him to recall what happened—infiltrating the imperial base to get the Regalia back, getting swarmed by MTs, using the Crystal's magic until he felt like he was being torn apart. He'd thrown up blood, hadn't he? It's no wonder he feels so terrible; he's almost surprised to be waking up. He feels even worse than the last time he'd woken after passing out—he's weak and nauseated, dizzy as hell, and _everything_ hurts, including his core. Inside him, the Crystal's shifting restlessly, making little angry pricks that snatch at his life force.

He swallows hard, wincing at the pain, and lifts his head slowly to look around, easily recognising his surroundings as the Leville. He has only a moment to wonder how they'd gotten here when Ignis is by his side, carefully helping him to sit up.

"How are you feeling?" Ignis asks, offering him a glass of water.

Noct takes it gratefully, sipping at it and relishing the way the coolness of it soothes his aching throat. "Like shit," he answers honestly, handing the glass back. "Do we have the Regalia back? How did we get here?"

Ignis frowns, setting the glass down and fussing with Noct's blankets briefly before settling back down in the chair he's pulled up beside the bed. "We do indeed," he says. "The Imperial Chancellor made another appearance and cleared the way for us. I must say, that man has remarkably impeccable timing."

Noct nods at him, sensing Ignis' unease with that fact. Not the answer he was expecting, but he can't say he's surprised by it, either. Ardyn _does_ seem to make it a point to mysteriously show up just when they're in need of help the most. At least they have his dad's car back. He's not sure he could handle it if they'd gone through all that, if _he_ had gone through all that, just to still lose the car in the end. "How long?" he asks quietly then, knowing Ignis will understand his meaning.

Ignis sighs and looks at him, shoving uncomfortably at his glasses. "Three days this time."

Noct simply nods again. He feels like he should be more surprised by it, that he should be more upset he's been lying unconscious for three days, but right now he just feels numb. It's further proof he didn't need that using his magic is killing him, that the _Crystal_ is killing him. Maybe later, when he's more awake, he'll cry and rage at the unfairness of it all, but right now he only feels a dull sort of acceptance. He's going to die young, maybe even soon, and there's nothing he can do about it.

The door opening distracts him from his thoughts, Prompto and Gladio stepping in to the room. Prompto notices Noct's return to consciousness immediately. "Noct!" he cries, rushing over to him. He clambers onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Noct in another desperate, clinging hug, squeezing him tightly as he buries his head in Noct's shoulder.

"Prompto..." Noct's less surprised by his best friend's actions this time, but he still feels uncomfortable with the hug, finding it unfamiliar and foreign. Then he hears Prompto sniffling, tears dampening his shirt, and feels even more awkward. Prompto's actually _crying_. Because of him.

Feeling incredibly self-conscious, he wrestles an arm free from Prompto's tight grip, and raises it up to pat tentatively at his best friend's back a couple of times. "Hey," he says, ignoring the heat he can feel spreading across his face, "I'm okay now..."

"You aren't," Prompto says into his shoulder, voice muffled. "You fucking aren't, Noct."

"Uh." Noct blinks, letting his hand drop down to his side, taken back by Prompto's response. He looks helplessly to Ignis, not sure what he's supposed to do, but Ignis looks away from him, lowering his eyes to his lap in uneasy silence. Noct lets out a little huff, and then looks instead to Gladio, who's standing just inside the door, watching the scene with arms folded across his chest and a tight look on his face.

Gladio shakes his head at the unspoken plea. "Kid's right," he says. "You fucking aren't."

Noct feels guilt twisting unpleasantly in his gut. Have they somehow figured out the truth? He doesn't want them to know... Gods, if they know, they'll be devastated. He doesn't want to see those looks on his friend's faces. "I'm _fine_ ," he says, doing his best to stress the word. "I warped too many times, it's no big deal."

"No big deal?" Gladio approaches the bed, looming down over him disapprovingly, and Noct tries not to cower, not wanting Gladio to see that his obvious attempt at intimidation is working. "No big deal? Noct, you threw up blood!"

Prompto lets out a distressed whimper at Gladio's words, his fingers curling tighter into Noct's back. Noct can't tell if he's still crying or not, but the guilt deepens anyway. "I—" Noct really has no idea how to respond to Gladio, honestly. He wants to brush it off, to downplay it, but how does he make up a casual excuse for throwing up blood and passing out? "It wasn't as serious as it looked," he finally tries, but even he knows how pathetic that sounds.

"It's damn well serious!" Gladio shouts at him. Noct watches his face slowly turn red, and swallows hard, knowing he's well and truly terrified his friends this time, even though that's the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"Gladio," Ignis murmurs disapprovingly, gently touching his hand to Gladio's arm. "Shouting will hardly improve the situation. Let's talk about this calmly."

"I'm through with being calm, Iggy." Gladio shakes Ignis' hand off, and Noct feels dread crowd in alongside the guilt. Gladio's already angry enough to not be reasoned with, and that's never a good thing. Noct doesn't want a fight with him, not when they'd only just made up before he'd passed out, but it's quickly becoming apparent that he's in for one.

"Can we do this some other time?" he asks tiredly, sighing. "Like when I _haven't_ just woken up from being unconscious for three days?" He winces when Prompto's hold constricts him even more, making his sore body protest. "Prompto—that hurts—"

"Oh, uh, sorry dude." Prompto pulls back, looking reluctant as he lets go of Noct, shifting on the bed to sit next to him. Noct feels even more terrible when he sees Prompto's face, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks soaked in tears, worry etched in every line.

"No problem," Noct says automatically. Gladio's still looming, the weight of his angry gaze crushing down on Noct. Honestly, Noct's getting irritated with Gladio's posturing now, though he does his best not to show it. Gladio's mad enough for the both of them. "Gladio, please," he tries. "Some other time."

"My apologies, _Your Highness_. I'll just have Ignis pencil it down in your busy schedule, yeah? Of course, he'll let you weasel your way out of the meeting, like he's always done—"

"That's rather uncalled for," Ignis mutters peevishly, but Gladio and Noct both ignore him.

"Look, it was just my magic being overworked, okay?" Noct snaps. He crosses his own arms, glaring fiercely at Gladio. "I shouldn't have been warping, but I did it anyways. I'll be fine, so knock it off already!"

"The only thing I'm gonna knock is some sense into that head of yours! When you're throwing up blood and passing out for three days, you are not fine!"

"Oh, because you know my body better than me now, is that it? Or maybe you just don't trust me!"

"Something's obviously wrong with you!"

"I just told you! I overworked my magic!" Noct yells. He clenches his hands into fists, taking a couple of deep breaths to try and calm down. The yelling between them is making his head throb, a steady dull pounding just above his left eye that makes him feel sick. He groans, squeezing his eyes shut and placing a hand to his forehead.

"Noct? You okay?" Prompto asks. Noct feels Prompto's hand settle uncertainly on his shoulder.

"Head hurts," he grits out. He hears Ignis getting up and rummaging around, and then pills are being pressed into his hand, along with his glass of water from earlier. He doesn't even look to check them over, just swallows them down, finally opening his eyes to set his glass down.

"Don't think this gets you out of talking," Gladio warns.

"Come on, big guy, can't this wait until Noct's feeling better?" Prompto pleads, pulling his hand back.

"Noct," Ignis says, and the calm tone in his voice is at an odd contrast with the distressed look on his face. "What did you mean by saying you shouldn't have been warping?"

"I—" Noct pauses. Had he said that? He runs back over his words in his mind, quickly realising that he had. _Fuck_. He hadn't meant to say that much. Damage control, he needs to do damage control. "Like I said, I warped too much. My magic just got overworked." It's not even that far off from the truth.

"You should have told us, Noct." Gladio at least doesn't yell these words, which Noct's head appreciates, but it's clear he's still upset, and not ready to let things go. It leaves Noct feeling weary. He wants to lay back down and pull the blankets over his head and shut out the world for awhile.

Unfortunately, he knows Gladio's going to make that impossible, so he's got no choice but to participate in this conversation. "Why? It was a battle. I did what needed to be done."

"Dammit, Noct!" Gladio slams his palm down onto the bedside table forcefully, making it rattle hard enough to tip over Noct's glass of water. Liquid puddles down the side and onto the floor. Noct watches it blankly. "You're not the only one fighting here. You don't have to shoulder everything alone."

At that, he sucks in a breath, feeling tears prick at his eyes. He blinks rapidly, holding them back. "What could you have done?"

"Shielded you so you could have a chance to recover, given you a potion, fought alongside you so you didn't have to warp... There were options. We could have helped you. You didn't have to keep it to yourself."

"You had your own selves to worry about. You didn't need to worry about me."

"Noct, that isn't true!" Prompto cries, aghast.

"So the next time you're screaming yourself hoarse from pain and throwing up blood I should just leave you to it, because I don't need to worry about you?"

"That isn't what I meant!" He's sick of Gladio's anger, of his cutting remarks and his insinuations that Noct's trying to get himself killed. He wants to be done with the whole argument already. "Just... it wasn't a big deal, okay? Stop making it into one!"

"Not a big deal?" Gladio repeats. He leans down, grabbing a fistful of Noct's shirt, getting right up in his face. "We thought you were dying!" He looks enraged, his face twisted up into an ugly expression and red from yelling, and it should scare Noct, should make him want to back down, but instead it only makes him angrier. He's done dealing with Gladio's shit. He opens his mouth, ready to tell Gladio off, but the words that come out aren't the words that he intends to say at all.

"I am dying!"

For a long moment, nobody speaks. Noct's eyes widen and he sits there in the tense silence, inwardly panicking and wondering if he can take it back somehow, if he can just lie and make something up, pass it off as a joke... anything so that they don't have to know. But when he glances around at their stunned faces, he realises he doesn't want to keep it a secret anymore. He's so tired of carrying it all alone, and so afraid, and if there's any chance at all they can help save him, he wants to take it. "I _am_ dying," he repeats quietly, his voice cracking embarrassingly on the words.

"We're all dying," Prompto says with a desperate little laugh, trying for humour, but it falls flat.

The tears threaten again, and Noct can't keep them all back this time, a few slipping out to trail slowly down his cheeks. He wipes at them, feeling embarrassed. "It's the Crystal," he says.

"Noct," Ignis says carefully, "We're well aware of the effect the Crystal will have on you, once the Ring of Lucii is in your possession—"

"No," Noct says. "It's killing me _now_ , without the ring."

"That shouldn't be possible, it doesn't make sense—"

"Not everything has to make sense, Specs! The world doesn't work that way!"

"I _am_ aware of that," Ignis says stiffly.

Noct sighs. His head's still aching, and he's so tired. He wishes he could curl up in bed and sob for days. His friends are already looking like he's destroyed their world, and he hasn't even told them the details yet. His chest tightens with anxiety. He shouldn't have told them at all. Why had he done that? Why did he say anything? They're going to fall apart now, and it's going to be all his fault.

Something heavy coils around his chest, squeezing hard, obstructing his breathing, making his breaths come short and choppy. It's painful, and scary, and he suddenly wishes so very badly that his dad was still alive, and here now, to hold him close and tell him that everything was going to be alright and Noct would get through this, the way he had when Noct was a child and struggling with his physical therapy. He feels his heart pounding nearly out of his chest, and the world fades away as he's struck with an impending sense of doom. He has no idea what's happening to him, but he doesn't like it.

Dimly he becomes aware of the bed dipping down in front of him, and Ignis' voice saying, "Slow, steady breaths, Noct, just as I'm doing, that's good." He listens to Ignis, struggling to breathe like his advisor's doing, and gradually the band around his chest loosens. He can breath again. He takes a deep breath in relief, and looks up at Ignis questioningly.

"A panic attack," Ignis says, and Noctis nods, feeling completely drained. He leans back against the headboard of the bed, bringing Prompto in his view alongside Ignis. Prompto's watching him anxiously, his fingers twisting up nervously in the blankets, but he gives Noct a small smile when Noct looks at him.

He glances over to Gladio then. His Shield's still standing there by the bed, fists clenched tightly at his sides, warring anger and worry in his face as he watches Noct.

"Sorry," Noct says to him, inexplicably feeling the need to apologise.

"Sorry for having a panic attack, or sorry for not telling us that you're fucking _dying_?" Gladio asks harshly, and Noct flinches.

"Gladio..." Ignis says wearily.

"No! Noct should have told us this! This isn't the kind of thing you keep secret! Why didn't you say something before?"

"Because I was scared!" Noct bursts out, growing angry again. "Because I wasn't even sure what was happening at first! Because you guys wouldn't have fought if you knew!"

Prompto scratches at his head. "Why not?"

Noct lets out a long sigh, the anger disappearing as quickly as it had come on. "Because it's using the Crystal's magic that's killing me. Taking weapons out of the Armiger, crafting spells, using the spells, warping... Not just me, but you guys too. I can _feel_ it. It tugs at my magical core, steals away my life, makes me feel really tired... It gets stronger every time I get a new royal weapon, or receive an Astral's blessing."

"Noct..." Prompto sounds horrified, his voice thick with tears that make the guilt in Noct's stomach flare up full force again. This is exactly what he hadn't wanted to see in his friends. "Noct, does... have we been hurting you when we use your magic?"

At that, Noct looks down at his lap. He knows not answering says just as much as any words would, but he can't bear to actually _tell_ his friends that they're a large source of his pain.

"Dammit!" The swear bursts out of Gladio, startling the other three. Noct looks up just as Gladio kicks at the chair Ignis had been in earlier, knocking it into the nightstand. It crashes into the lamp there, which falls against the wall, the bulb inside shattering. Before anyone can react, Gladio turns around, storming back towards the door and out of the room.

"Big guy? Gladio!" Prompto calls after him, scrambling off the bed and going to look out the door, but Gladio's already gone. Prompto shakes his head, and then looks back at Noct. "You know he's not really mad at you..."

"It doesn't matter."

Prompto fiddles uncertainly with the band on his wrist for a moment, before going over and picking up the chair Gladio had kicked, setting it upright and sinking down in to it. "This is so fucked," he says softly.

They all sit quietly for awhile. Ignis keeps looking as if he wants to say something, and then thinks better of it. Prompto messes with his wristband some more, seemingly trying to work up the courage to say something as well. "Are we really hurting you?" he finally blurts out.

Noct shrugs, looking down at the bed again, and then gives a tiny, nearly imperceptible nod.

"Noct, I—allow me to offer my apologies," Ignis says, hesitant.

"Nothing to be sorry for," Noct sighs.

"If I had known our actions were causing you pain—"

"Yeah, and that's _why_ I didn't tell you, Specs," Noct says, interrupting him. "You guys want to blame yourselves, and say you wouldn't have used my magic if you known, but then where would we be now? Dead back at the base? Crushed under Titan? Rotting somewhere in the Balouve Mines?"

"Perhaps we couldn't have stopped using your magic, but we might have been much more judicious in our use, had we known."

"I'd still be dying," Noct says, and it's hard to force the words out around the lump in his throat.

To that, Ignis has nothing to say, a stricken look crossing his face. It makes Noct feel exhausted, seeing the pain he's causing his friends. Noct shifts over to the side of the bed Ignis isn't sitting on, scooting until he's laying down again, on top of the blankets now, and rolling over so that his back is to Ignis and Prompto. He curls up into a foetal position, wanting to sleep, but the lump in his throat's growing and he can feel his eyes starting to sting. Prompto's right, this _is_ fucked, and Noct doesn't know how to fix it.

"I'm gonna see if I can find Gladio," Prompto says. Noct listens to him leave, wondering if Prompto's running from him, running from the fact that Noct's dying because he can't bear to face it. Why had he said anything?

When the first sob rips out of him, he tries to stifle it, biting down hard on his lip, but the urge to let go and cry is too great, and soon he's sobbing pathetically, tears and snot uncomfortably soaking his face, eyes burning and head pounding. He knows Ignis is still there next to him, listening to him bawl like a five year old, and it makes shame wash over him, hot and powerful.

He startles when he feels Ignis' body press up against his, curling around him, warm and comfortable and familiar. When they were children and Noct would have nightmares in the night, after coming back from Tenebrae, he'd sneak into Ignis' room and Ignis would lay with him just like this. It's been many years since Noct has felt the need to be comforted in this manner, but right now it's welcome and soothing. Ignis throws an arm over him, and Noct grabs at his hand, clinging tight as he continues to cry. "I'm sorry," he chokes out.

"Shh," Ignis murmurs. His breath tickles against the back of Noct's neck, making him shudder. "You're alright, Noct."

He's not alright, not at all, but it helps to hear the words nonetheless. He lets himself lay there against Ignis and cry until he can't anymore, until he's drained and exhausted and numb, and then he lets himself slip off into sleep.

x x x

When he wakes later, it's dark out, and Noct is alone in the bed. He sits up with a small groan, glancing around the room. Gladio and Prompto have returned from wherever they'd disappeared too, and are sitting on the other bed messing listlessly with their phones. Ignis is bustling around their pile of things in the corner, organising and re-organising bags that have clearly been rearranged several times already. Noct watches him for a moment, knowing Ignis is probably embarrassed by his actions earlier, and also probably distressed by the news Noct had let slip... He sighs, and decides to leave Ignis to it for now. Maybe other people would find it odd, but Noct's not going to begrudge him his coping mechanism. He wonders if Gladio is still angry, and then decides it's very likely.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Prompto asks, giving him a hesitant smile from the other bed.

Noct shrugs, and decides there's no point in not giving honest answers anymore, although it feels strange to be so candid now. "Tired," he says. "Everything hurts still."

Prompto's face falls. "Because of us."

"Because of the Crystal," Noct corrects. "Because I warped until I nearly tore myself apart."

"Noct..." Prompto looks distressed, and Noct can't bear to see it. He looks away, back in Ignis' direction. Ignis has stopped messing with their things, but he's standing over them, his back to Noct, and Noct can see how rigid he is even from across the room. Clearly his words have upset Ignis just as much.

Noct really doesn't know how to handle it. He'd known they would be upset if he told them, it's why he'd tried so hard to keep it from them, but they'd just gotten mad that he wasn't being honest with them. Now he is and they still seem as if they don't want to hear it. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He can't really go back to lying about how much he's hurting, they'll notice and get mad and upset again. But if he continues to be honest, they'll still be upset. Either way, it's a situation he can't win and it's frustrating.

Suddenly, being in the room feels stifling. The tension and disquiet are suffocating him, and he's going to choke on it if he has to sit in it one more minute. Abruptly, he slides out of bed, ignoring the way his body protests in pain, and after putting his shoes on, heads for the door.

"You're leaving?" Ignis asks, and Noct hates the well-hidden hint of fear he hears in Ignis' voice.

"Need some fresh air," he mutters, and slips out the door.

x x x

Thanks to Ignis insisting that Noct needs time to rest, they end up spending the next few days hanging around the Leville, not doing much of anything. Noct spends most of his time in bed letting his depression win. Prompto and Ignis both end up fretting over him until he feels almost smothered by their concern, but it's hard to muster up the energy to do things that would ease their worry.

Gladio, on the other hand, is tetchy for awhile, dropping the occasional biting remark, but when Noct refuses to rise to the bait, he stops, although it's clear he's still not over it. Noct finds his attitude hurtful and undeserved, and it only contributes to his already despondent feelings, but he's not up to yet another fight with Gladio right now.

At some point on the third day, the four of them have a conversation about the Crystal, and Noct gives them more detail on how it's affecting him, and why he thinks it's killing him, although the whole vomiting blood thing was a pretty good indicator.

The conversation is painful. Gladio rarely speaks, choosing to lurk in the background with an irate look on his face, but Noct almost prefers that to the distraught looks of self-blame Prompto and Ignis wear. It only gets better when the conversation moves away from his pain, and onto how it could be happening.

"You're certain it's the Crystal?" Ignis asks.

Noct nods tiredly. "It's... I don't know how to explain. It's a sense, I guess—I can just _feel_ that it's the Crystal. It's almost like it's alive, sort of. Not like a human, or even an Astral, but it has an awareness, it's still sentient...? I don't know," he says, frustration lacing his tone.

"It's most odd..." Ignis says musingly. "I've never heard tell of the Crystal affecting a king's lifespan without the Ring of Lucii. I believe it is the ring in which the Crystal draws its power from."

"Uh, but doesn't the ring get handed down from the kings right away?" Prompto asks, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. "I know I didn't grow up royalty like you guys did, but that's what they taught us in history class, at least..."

Ignis frowns. "Yes, that is typically what happens—the new king receives the ring as soon as the old one passes, so that he can keep the Wall maintained, even if his public coronation doesn't take place for a few days. Noct here is rather a special case."

"So maybe the power for magic doesn't really come from the ring after all, and nobody ever realised!"

Gladio lets out a snort at that, and Noct looks at him briefly with a glare before turning his attention back to his other friends again. "We've been using my magic since we left Insomnia, though," he says, "and I don't think it's been killing me the whole time. I'm positive it wasn't hurting me when we helped Cid out with those hunts."

Ignis' brow furrows as he gets lost in his thoughts. "As of now, we lack the proper information to put forth any theories. Perhaps when we get to Altissia and meet the Lady Lunafreya, she'll be able to tell us more about the ring and the Crystal."

Noct sighs. "Great." It's just as he's feared—none of them have any idea what to do for him either. And he's not sure Luna will be able to help much. She _does_ communicate with the Astrals, who would be the most likely to know what's going on with him, but they've been very particular about what help they've offered him so far.

"I think it's time we head to Cape Caem," Ignis says.

"Why there?"

"There's a safe house there, with a boat. Cid and Cindy have been repairing it for us, to take us to Altissia now that the ferry from Galdin Quay is no longer an option."

Noct nods. "We taking Iris with us?" A thought hits him as he asks the question. "Where is Iris, anyway? I haven't seen her since I woke up..."

"Monica took her, Jared, and Talcott to Cape Caem several days ago," Gladio says gruffly.

"Yeah buddy, you were still out of it," Prompto adds.

"We'll head there tomorrow, if that's alright with you, Noct?" Ignis asks.

He nods again. "Fine." In truth, he'd prefer to keep sleeping his days away, but he's sick of being in this room, sick of seeing Ignis and Prompto tiptoe around him while Gladio glowers. A house where he can presumably get away and be on his own for awhile sounds wonderful.

"Very well then, we'll leave first thing in the morning," Ignis declares.

"Can't wait," Noct replies, and for once he actually means it.

* * *

Whoops, my Ignoct shipper was showing again ;D

But yes, at last, The Reveal. That scene was so damn hard to write, honestly, trying to pace it properly and balance it between the four of them and make everything feel natural. A giant ass thanks to my best friend, who has never played FFXV but puts up with my constant rambling to her about it and my fics, and looked over the scene for me to check for writing issues.

Feel free to drop me your thoughts on this chapter (:


	11. chapter ten

I'm gonna say this in advance: Please don't kill me at the end of this chapter XD

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter ten_

* * *

The ride to Cape Caem in the morning is tense. Even though Noct gets Prompto to switch with him and sits up front next to Ignis, he's still very aware of Gladio's sullen form in the seat behind him. He tries to close his eyes and sleep, but when he jerks awake half an hour later from a nightmare in which he's being impaled again, he decides that sleep isn't worth it for the time being. He spends the rest of the ride thinking about the Crystal and sinking into further despair as he tries to imagine dying in the next couple of years, or even months. If he could not use magic, he might be fine, but he wants Insomnia back, and he doesn't see how he can do that without the help of the Crystal's power, not when he'll have to somehow take down the whole of Niflheim's army, or at least defeat enough of it to get them out of Insomnia, and out of Lucis.

By the time they reach the safe house mid-afternoon, Noct's feeling very down, and is looking forward to getting inside and collapsing into a bed somewhere so he can curl up in a ball and wallow in his misery. But when Iris meets them at the door with red-rimmed eyes and a solemn expression on her face, he knows that's not going to be happening any time soon.

"Iris! What's wrong?" Gladio barks out, rushing up the steps to her. "Are you hurt?"

"Oh Gladdy," she says, fresh tears filling her eyes. "It's not me, it's Jared... he didn't make it."

"Make it? What do you mean?" Noct demands. His heart's suddenly pounding. He doesn't want there to be any more deaths, doesn't want anyone else from Insomnia to die, and he desperately hope that Iris means something else with her words.

"Noct, Gladdy... we were attacked when we were leaving Lestallum. It was the imperial army, they wanted information about you guys. We didn't tell them anything!" she hastens to reassure them, wiping at her eyes. "But they tortured Jared... Dustin and Monica managed to get us out, and we've been trying to heal him, but early this morning, he..."

"Oh no," Prompto says softly, letting out a low moan. Noct says nothing, staring blankly as Gladio pulls Iris to him in a tight hug as she begins to cry. He can't believe Jared's dead because of _him_. He'd never really known the Amicitia's butler that well, rarely ever having reason to go to their manor, but he'd been a constant in Noct's life nonetheless, and he knew that Gladio and Iris considered Jared to be family. He'd been glad that Jared had escaped the fall of Insomnia, finding comfort in the fact that his friends still had someone left after losing their father.

"Cor's here," Iris said, pulling away after a few moments of sobbing into Gladio's chest. She sniffled. "He helped us bury Jared. He has information for you guys about some imperial base."

"We'll talk to him," Ignis says quietly. He motions at Noct and Prompto, and Noct nods back automatically, following Ignis on auto-pilot into the house as he leaves Gladio and Iris to their grief. Cor's waiting for them inside, seated at the table with some maps spread out in front of them.

"Your Highness," he says, nodding a greeting. "Prompto. Ignis."

Noct pulls out a chair, slumping down into it. "Iris said you had information about some imperial base."

"Yes, I've obtained some of their blueprints and schematics, and coordinates for the actual locations of the base. It's Fort Valluerey, near Old Lestallum," Cor says, pointing at a location on his map of Lucis. "It's up to you if you wish to bring it down, Your Highness, but successfully doing so will deal a major blow to Niflheim's army."

Prompto frowns. "Uh, but do we have time? Luna probably doesn't want to wait for us forever..."

"From what I understand, Cid's in need of some mythril to finish repairs to the boat, so you cannot yet set out for Altissia anyway. There is time, if you wish it."

"Well, I'm game for it if you are, buddy!" Prompto says with a shrug, as he looks to Noct with a grin. "I'm always up for another round of bust-a-base!"

Noct opens his mouth to respond, but Ignis beats him to it. "We need to think carefully about this before we go charging in," he says. "We would need a strategy, and there is Noct's health to consider. It may not be wise to take on the base at this time."

Cor frowns. "His health?" He looks at Noct with a scrutinising eye, no doubt taking in Noct's worn out appearance. "Are you unwell?"

"It's no big deal," Noct mutters. He doesn't want to get into again, and certainly not with Cor. He has a feeling the Marshal would just tell him to suck it up and deal with it anyway.

Cor's still frowning at him, so Noct sighs and does his best to look like a bratty, spoiled prince. "I'll be fine," he says in an annoyed tone, a little louder this time. "I overdid my magic and now they're all being worry-warts."

"You would do well to take better care of yourself, Your Highness," Cor says, and Astrals above, he's _still_ frowning. Noct knows he's capable of smiling—he's _seen_ it before—but right now he would never have guessed it. "A king who cannot properly care for himself cannot properly care for his people. Your friends are right to be worried."

"I'm trying," Noct says, squirming uncomfortably in his seat. It doesn't matter how old he gets, Cor's chastising always has the power to make him feel like a small child getting scolded for stealing sweets out of the kitchen.

"I'll leave the decision and the diagrams in your hands, then. I won't be able to provide assistance, so if you take it on, you'll be doing so alone," Cor tells them, standing. "Good luck in your endeavours, gentleman."

"So," Prompto says after Cor's gone, drawing the word out. "Are we going then?"

"There's no need to make a decision right away, and we ought to include Gladio in this decision as well," Ignis says. "For now, let us go talk with Cid, and see about this mythril that the Marshal mentioned."

Noct props his elbows up on the table, laying his head between them. "You guys go," he says tiredly. "Let me know what he says."

Ignis nods, heading out the door, but Prompto lingers, fiddling absently with his wristband. "You feeling bad?" he asks, and Noct really hates the worried expression that takes over his face. He misses when they'd all simply make fun of him for taking every free moment he could to sleep, when they could joke and laugh with him and not worry about saying the wrong thing.

His irritation makes him answer more honestly than he might otherwise have. "I'm _always_ feeling bad now," he says. "I'm dying, remember?"

Prompto looks hurt at his sharp words, making Noct immediately feel guilty and regretful. "I—I didn't forget, Noct," Prompto stammers. "I just... I don't know how to deal with this. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing, of upsetting you and making things worse. I don't know how I'm supposed to act around you, what I'm supposed to say..."

Noct laughs. It's a bitter, ugly sound. "You think I do?"

"No, of course not, I—I'm sorry. You're my best friend. I wish I knew what to do to make it better."

"I—" He feels weary, suddenly, and disgusted with himself. Why is he being mean to one of the few people he has left, one of the few people willing to help and support him? Hell, Prompto would probably die in his place, if Noct asked him to. He wouldn't ever, of course, but he knows Prompto is that loyal to him, even though he doesn't deserve it. "I'm sorry, Prompto," he says, shoulders sagging. "I shouldn't be taking it out on you guys."

"No, it's okay," Prompto says, giving him a small smile. "I can't even imagine how hard this is for you, dude."

"It's _not_ okay." He winces as his words sharpen again, and makes a deliberate effort to soften his tone. "I don't have the right to treat you like crap just because I'm feeling terrible. You guys are all I have, and I know you only want to help. I should be thanking you instead of yelling at you."

"If you say so, Noct." There's doubt in Prompto's words. "Feel better, okay? I'm gonna catch up with Iggy."

Noct nods, closing his eyes as a yawn overtakes him. "Okay," he says sleepily. "Take your time..."

Prompto laughs, softly. "Will do."

x x x

In the end, they do decide to take on Fort Valluerey, wanting to get revenge for Jared, though Noct nearly has to make it an order to get Ignis to agree. Gladio's still not speaking much to Noct, but he's surprisingly all for taking out the base, ready to work out his anger and avenge Jared's death. Ignis argues heavily against it, concerned about Noct getting into battles so soon, and not wanting any of them to use Noct's magic now that they know it's killing him.

"I'm not about to sit around like some helpless damsel in distress," Noct finally says crossly. "And not fighting is _not_ an option. We need to do what we can to take back Insomnia, and we need my magic for that."

"I do not wish to see any more incidents like the one at the previous base," Ignis says with a frown. "And I would rather not be the cause of any more pain to you," he adds more quietly, lowering his eyes to his lap.

"It can't be helped. I'm not gonna hold it against you, Iggy."

"I'm afraid that's not as reassuring as I wish it were, Noct."

Noct sighs, rubbing at his forehead. "Look, just try to use my magic sparingly and I promise I won't warp unless I need to, okay? We need to take this base out."

"...Very well," Ignis finally agrees, though he doesn't look happy about it.

And really, it's not a hardship to stick to his promise. Noct doesn't _want_ to warp again any time soon, not after his experience with it a few days ago. They move through the base with surprising ease, using the cover of darkness to their advantage, destroying generators as they go, and even manage to capture Commander Caligo without any hitches. It takes longer than it might have, without Noct being able to warp ahead and clear the way for the others, but it's worth the trade-off of keeping his pain to a minimum. He still winds up tiring fairly quickly, but he's come to expect that.

It's only when they've cleared out the base and are ambushed by some woman soldier while making their way back to the entrance that Noct has to break his promise. He tries at first, he really does, but she has some insanely high jumps, ones that shouldn't even be possible, and the only way any of he can get any sort of leverage over her is if he warps after her. He has no idea who she is, but she seems delighted once he starts warping, and does her best to keep most of the fight in the air. Noct can feel the Crystal snatching at him again as he continuously warps after her, digging in deep once more and stealing away his life.

By the time she decides she's done, he's a mess. He slumps over on the ground once she's gone, his breathing ragged, fighting back the nausea and trying to get his body to stop feeling as if it's fraying around the edges.

"What the _hell_ was that, Noct?!" Gladio roars, sending his weapon back to the Armiger as he whirls around and stalks towards Noct.

Noct shuts his eyes tight for a moment, praying to the Six for patience, before opening them again and looking directly at Gladio. "Well, it _felt_ like a lot of warping to me, not sure what you thought it was."

Gladio's face begins to turn red, his body taut with rage, and even though it hurts Noct to be at such odds with his Shield, he can't help but watch in fascination. "For someone who seemed upset about dying, you sure are doing what you can to speed it along!" Gladio yells.

"Stop fucking saying that!" Noct yells back, immediately feeling as enraged as Gladio must be. "I'm _not_ fucking trying to kill myself, asshole!"

"From here it sure as hell looks like it! You can't even stand right now!"

"Guys, can we not do this now?" Prompto asks, glancing around nervously for any stray MTs that might be left. He shifts quickly from foot to foot, looking decidedly unhappy.

"Yes, Prompto's right, this is hardly the time or place for an argument," Ignis says, frowning at them.

"Tell that to Mr. High and Mighty here," Noct growls, glaring as hard as he can at Gladio.

Gladio snorts, crossing his arms over his chest, returning the glare with equal force. "I believe that's _you_ , Your Highness, believing you know better than everyone else."

"Yeah? You're the one throwing a fit like a big baby just because I warped!"

"No, I'm upset because you seem happy to throw your life away without thinking of the rest of us! You need to stop warping and stop trying to kill yourself faster, now."

For a brief moment, Noct sees white. He's so angry right now, and he doesn't care what Ignis might say about Gladio just letting his anger cover up his fear. It shouldn't matter if Noct hid such a secret from them, he doesn't deserve words as harsh as the ones Gladio keeps throwing at him. How dare Gladio insinuate such things, and how _dare_ he try and tell Noct what to do? "It's _my_ body, Gladio," Noct says lowly, dangerously. " _I_ get to choose what to do with my own body. You don't get to decide!"

"Guys, _please_!" Prompto begs, stepping in front of Noct. "Please stop fighting! I'm sick of you two not getting along!"

Gladio reaches out, pushing him aside. Prompto's clearly not expecting it, because he stumbles and goes sprawling to the ground, scraping his arms on the unforgiving concrete as he lands. Ignis crouches down by his side immediately, inspecting the damage. "I'm okay," Prompto mumbles, but he looks stunned.

"What the fuck, Gladio!" Noct barks, and he wishes he wasn't so damn exhausted because right now he really wants to pummel the hell out of his Shield.

"You know, this isn't just about you, Noct! You have a kingdom to think about, thousands of people who are relying on you to help them and bring peace back to the their homes! You don't have the luxury of being reckless and selfish and dying right now! You need to grow up and stop acting like a spoiled, whiny brat!"

"That is _enough_." Ignis' voice is like ice, as cold and hard as Noct's ever heard him sound, and it makes him shiver. "I will not hear another harsh word out of _either_ of you, and I shall leave you both behind if the two of you don't shut up and get back to the Regalia. _Now_."

For a moment, Noct thinks that Gladio's going to dare challenge Ignis—his mouth opens, working soundlessly, but then he spins around and stalks away without saying anything. Noct watches him go, his chest still tight with anger and dismay. He slowly gets to his feet, biting back whimpers of pain, and then follows along behind Ignis and Prompto as they head back to the Regalia.

x x x

Ignis barely has the Regalia parked when Gladio's jumping out of it, storming off in the direction of the safe house. Noct stares after him, his eyes stinging with tears, and then sets off in the direction of the lighthouse, riding the elevator to the top when he gets there. Several minutes later he hears the elevator being called down, and then Ignis is there, settling down on the floor next to him.

They're quiet for a time, staring out over the sparkling ocean in the dawning morning, and then Noct speaks, his voice soft. "I really don't want to die, Ignis."

"I know, Noct." Ignis' tone is filled with sorrow. "Despite his... thoughtless words, Gladio knows it as well."

Noct swallows. Tears are brimming, but he doesn't let them fall. "Does he?"

"Oh, Noct..."

"He said it himself, he thinks I'm a spoiled whiny, brat. I'm just a burden and a fuck up, I keep nearly getting myself killed and all I've done lately is make things harder for you guys." He takes a deep breath, his chest aching. His vision is blurring now, but he still refuses to cry. "When we were younger, he didn't like me at first. Maybe he never has, and he's been pretending all these years."

"I know that isn't true," Ignis says quietly.

"How? It's not like either of you were ever given a choice about being my friend. It's literally your jobs," Noct said bitterly, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"That is where you're incorrect. It is our jobs to be your advisor and your Shield. Nothing could make us be your friend if we did not desire for that ourselves."

"Iggy—" he finally loses the battle, tears dripping rapidly down his face as he buries his head in his arms. He hears Ignis scooting over, and then a warm weight is pressing against his side, solid and comforting. He feels pathetic for how much Ignis' words mean to him, but in the wake of all of his old doubts surfacing, he desperately needs to hear them. He needs to know that Gladio hasn't been acting friendly to him out of an obligation or sense of duty. Until recently, he'd believed Gladio really was his friend, but now—

He feels like a dumb sixteen year old all over again. Back then, his friendships with both Gladio and Ignis had seemed so uncertain, his mind constantly struggling to decipher their every action and word towards him, to analyse whether they were doing things for and with him because they wanted to, or because they had to. Ignis had been hand-picked by his dad to be raised up alongside him and to take care of him, when he'd only been a kid himself. He'd never been given a choice in the matter. And Noct had been terrible back then, grappling with his depression and shit at taking care of himself, always wanting to shirk his responsibilities to spend time with Prompto instead—he _knows_ it must have been difficult on Ignis, even if Ignis had never once complained.

Noct hadn't been much better with Gladio either. They were constantly butting heads over his training, because Noct had started often skipping it, or not putting in his best effort when he went, because on top of all the duties Ignis kept trying to shove at him, it felt like a constant reminder that he was being trained to replace his dad, whose health had started rapidly declining around that time. Gladio was always frustrated with him, wanting him to do better but never knowing how to deal with Noct in that state.

He'd known even then how much of a burden he was to the two of them, and it had seemed so logical to think that they were only putting up with him because they had to—because why in the world would they want to be friends with someone so sullen and difficult? Ignis had eventually put those fears to rest, for both himself and Gladio, but Gladio had never personally said anything about it to Noct. He's not even sure if Gladio ever realised that Noct had felt that way. But if he _had_ , and he'd never said anything because Noct had been _right_ —

"Gladio is terrible at dealing with it, but he is truly scared for you, Noct," Ignis says, breaking into Noct's thoughts. "He does not wish to see you in pain, or to accept that he's been the cause for some of it, however unintentional. None of us do. I believe I can speak for all three of us when I say that seeing you screaming in agony and then vomiting blood several nights ago was the single most terrifying event in my life."

Noct actually lifts his head and laughs through his tears at that. "For me too..."

"We all felt helpless," Ignis admits, and Noct feels guilt whisper through him as he registers his friend's body tensing slightly. "Prompto... looked to nearly lose his composure when you screamed due to his pulling the potion out of your Armiger. I took over for him, breaking potion after potion over you, praying you would regain consciousness, but even a phoenix down would not wake you."

"I'm sorry," Noct says around the lump in his throat. He doesn't want to listen to this, doesn't want to hear exactly how badly he'd terrified them all, but at the same time, it's gratifying to know they truly do care. He can also sense Ignis' need to talk about it, so no matter how much it hurts him, he knows he could never deny Ignis this.

Ignis acknowledges him with a tip of his head, but doesn't respond, continuing on with his recall. "When you passed out, Gladio immediately lunged for you. He then held you as I was healing you, and he carried you back to the Regalia, as well as all the way to our hotel room in the Leville. He would not sleep that first night, preferring to keep watch over you in case you awoke." Ignis pauses, adjusting his glasses. "Tell me, Noct, does that sound like a man who is behaving out of mere duty?"

"No," he admits in a low voice, wiping futilely at his face. It's a relief to hear, to have proof that Gladio _does_ seem to care, and yet it hurts, too, to not have experienced that caring while awake. "I don't understand why he has to keep yelling at me though..."

At that, Ignis sighs, his body relaxing again. "Gladio can be an ass sometimes. I believe he will come round."

He says nothing to that, merely sniffling a couple times. He wants to think Gladio will, that he'll eventually stop being angry and apologise, but he's not so sure. He's never seen Gladio so upset with him before. And he can't even completely fault him, because Noct can't even imagine how he'd react if he'd learned that Gladio or Ignis was dying and had been hiding it. "You mad at me?" he asks. "For not telling you guys?"

"I think Gladio has enough anger for all of us."

It's not exactly an answer, but the fact that Ignis is avoiding a straight one means the answer is probably yes, at least a little. Noct can't blame him any more than he can Gladio, though. Still, it makes anxiety and insecurity twist unpleasantly in his gut. It brings to mind the few times in the past when Ignis had been mad at him—Noct had always been terrified that Ignis must have hated him, as he so rarely got truly mad with him. He's feeling that now, again, and though he tries to tell himself he's being ridiculous, he can't help it when he blurts out, "You hate me?"

"Never," comes the immediate and sincere answer, and Noct briefly squeezes his eyes shut in embarrassed relief.

They fall silent, watching as the sun continues to rise higher in the sky, the reds and oranges of sunrise gradually giving way to a cheerful blue. It's a sight Noct doesn't see often, and he wishes he could bring himself to wake earlier, because it's beautiful to watch. Unbidden, on the heels of that thought comes a despairing wondering: how many more sunrises does he have left? He tries to shake it out of his head, to put it off for another time, but it hurts, making his chest ache with sorrow, and he breathes in sharply as tendrils of fear creep darkly around him, wrapping themselves up tight around his body. He really doesn't want to be dying.

"Alright, Noct?" Ignis murmurs, hearing his gasp.

Noct shakes his head. "I'm scared," he admits, hating how cracked and broken his voice sounds. "I'm so tired all the time... everything hurts, and everything's so fucked. We've lost Insomnia, lost the Crystal, we're running around with no real idea what we're doing and now I'm dying and I have no idea why or how to fix it, or how fast it's happening... I don't know what to do. What if I don't survive this? What if I can't get Insomnia back? What if the Crystal kills me first? I'm not ready, Specs! There's so much I still want to do!"

He doesn't realise he's nearly hyperventilating until he feels Ignis' hand firm against his back, rubbing gently, careful to avoid the old scars. "Shh, breathe, Noct," Ignis says softly. "Slow and steady."

He nods, forcing himself to calm down and for his breathing to even out. It takes him several minutes, but he manages it, enjoying the feel of Ignis' hand in the meantime. "Sorry."

"There is no need to be," Ignis says. He drops his hand, and though his face blushes hot, Noct actually _whines_ , low in his throat, a noise of yearning and disappointment and hopefulness all rolled up in one, not yet wanting Ignis to stop. People have so rarely touched him in simple comfort, even when he was a child, so though it feels strange to him, it's really nice, too.

There's a moment's startled pause, and then Ignis resumes his motions, softly trailing his fingers around the edges of Noct's back. Ignis studiously doesn't look at him, and when Noct glances over he can see the tips of his ears turning pink. Ignis clears his throat. "There are no guarantees, but I swear I shall do my best to see you through this." He speaks slowly, as if choosing his words with care. "I would not see you suffer unnecessarily... if there are answers, I shall find them. I would not simply lay down and let you die."

Noct hugs his legs tighter to him, his heart aching with everything he's feeling. Grief, despair, hope, fear, relief, determination... it's a knotted mass of contradictions inside him and he doesn't know how to sort it out. "You think we'll get Insomnia back?"

Ignis is silent a moment, and then he sighs, glancing to Noct. "I certainly hope so," he murmurs.

The sorrow in his voice makes Noct's heart ache even more. It reminds him again that he's not the only one to have lost nearly everything. Stretching his legs out in front of him, Noct leans his head against Ignis' shoulder and reaches over, grasping Ignis' free hand and squeezing briefly, attempting to give what little comfort he can. He doesn't say anything, but then, he doesn't need to. Ignis hesitates only a moment before squeezing back, and that's good enough for Noct.

x x x

They take the remainder of the day to rest. Noct's thankful, because he doesn't think he's capable of lifting a sword at the moment. He has to lean heavily on Ignis when they finally leave the lighthouse at Ignis' insistence, after Noct nearly falls asleep on him—"Come now, let's get you to a proper bed, Noct. You'll thank me for it later."—and he trips up the stairs to their room, only Ignis' quick reflexes saving him from tumbling back down to the bottom.

He spends the majority of the day sleeping, although Ignis wakes him twice to make him eat, and the second time he decides to stay up and play some King's Knight with Prompto, wanting a chance to relax and do something mindless. Gladio's nowhere to be seen, probably spending time with Iris, and though it makes Noct feel guilty, he's relieved too, because he can breathe easier without Gladio there making snide, pointed remarks and lurking menacingly around him.

"We getting the mythril tomorrow?" he eventually asks, tossing his phone down when he and Prompto die yet again.

"If you're feeling up to it, yes," Ignis answers, not looking up from his book—actually Gladio's, Noct realises with amusement as he catches sight of the cover, where a scantily clad buxom woman is held in the embrace of a bare-chested buff man, the two of them mere centimetres from a no-doubt passionate kiss. _Ripe for Seduction_ , the title declares, and Noct snorts in disbelief at it. How the hell does Gladio—and Ignis now, apparently—read such trash?

"The Vesperpool, right?" Prompto speaks up, distracting Noct from Gladio's questionable taste in erotica.

"Yes, that's the plan," Ignis says distractedly.

"Shh, leave Iggy to his porn," Noct says in a fake loud whisper, nudging Prompto as he grins.

Ignis looks up at that, his face turning red as he moves his hand to hide the book's cover. "There is simply little else to read," Ignis says stiffly, and Noct's grin grows wider.

"Sure, Specs," he says knowingly. "That's all it is." He looks to Prompto, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, and Prompto barks out a surprised laugh, trying too late to smother it behind his hand.

Ignis lets out a small huff of exasperation, and then rolls his eyes, going back to his book as he pointedly ignores them both. Noct lets out a laugh of his own, and then goes back to his phone for another attempt at King's Knight.

Gladio doesn't return to the room until long after the three of them have gone to bed. The quiet click of the door wakes Noct, and he lifts his head groggily, watching in confusion as Gladio moves around the room, putting things in his bag before he undresses and climbs into bed next to Ignis. Noct wonders about it, but sleep quickly pulls him back under, making him forget about it.

When he wakes the next morning to Ignis' persistent prompting, Gladio has already left the room. Noct's starting to get the impression that Gladio's avoiding him. It hurts, but he knows there's not much he can do about it right now. They need to get the mythril for Cid, so they can get underway to Altissia and find Luna.

Prompto looks around as they assemble outside the safe house after breakfast. "Where's the big guy?"

As if hearing him, Gladio comes up the pathway towards them, his bag slung over his shoulder, halting when he's within speaking distance. He avoids looking at Noct, but the solemn expression on his face makes Noct's stomach clench in anxiety. "I'm not going," Gladio says.

"Pardon?" Ignis asks.

"Sorry, Iggy. I got something I need to take care of. You guys go on to the Vesperpool without me." He doesn't wait to say anything else, simply turns and heads back down the path. Noct watches him go, feeling panic building in his chest. Is Gladio leaving them, leaving _him_? He wants to call after him, offer up a million apologies, beg Gladio not to abandon him, but instead he's frozen in place, unable to make a sound. He says nothing, and continues to watch until Gladio's at last disappeared.

* * *

Hi, I'm fayth and I'm addicted to Ignoct.

So... who wants to kill me for Gladio? Or kill Gladio, but I think if you do Noct will be even more sad than he already is. Ah, poor bby, I torture him so.

Any reviews and/or favourites are appreciated :3 They always make my day, and I promise you, I read every one of them multiple times.


	12. chapter eleven

I don't know why I'm still bothering to post over here. But whatever. Have another chapter XD

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter eleven_

* * *

The ride to the Vesperpool is quiet. Noct's still silently panicking over Gladio's abrupt departure, wondering if it's because of him. Does Gladio truly hate him so much after all, that he doesn't want to be around Noct anymore? Ignis keeps saying to him that Gladio cares, citing examples of it, but Noct's having a hard time seeing that right now. It doesn't _feel_ like Gladio cares. And okay, maybe Noct fucked up by not telling his friends what was going on, and he can understand Gladio's anger over that, but not to the point that Gladio's taken it.

He doesn't even know if Gladio will come back. The thought's paralysing. No matter how much they're at odds right now, Noct doesn't want to lose him. Gladio's his friend, someone who's been a solid constant in his life and one of the few people Noct has always been able to rely on. The thought of a world without Gladio in it seems hollow and _wrong_.

And if Gladio really _doesn't_ come back, will Ignis and Prompto blame him for it? Even if Gladio hates Noct, he's still Ignis and Prompto's friend, and they'll be upset to see him go. They might get mad at Noct, hate him for it... He clenches his hands in his lap, squeezing his eyes shut tight, trying to keep calm. He can't bear to think about Ignis and Prompto hating him, the thought hurts too much. He doesn't want to lose everybody. He doesn't want to wind up all alone in the world.

He feels the Regalia slowing then, and looks up, thankful to be distracted from his thoughts, wondering with surprise when Ignis put the roof up. He'd been so lost in his dismay that he hadn't even noticed.

"Remember, no magic," Ignis says as he turns off the engine. "And please try to refrain from warping, Noct."

Noct rolls his eyes, making a face at the light drizzle that hits him when he steps out of the car. "I know," he says to Ignis. He pulls the chocobo whistle out and calls for the birds, and soon the three of them are setting off in the vague direction of the ruins where the mythril is supposed to be. It's hard not to feel the absence of Gladio, especially when they wind up in a battle with a gigantoad and don't have his powerful sword to sweep it out of the way, but Noct does his best to focus and shove any thoughts of his Shield to the back of his mind for now. He's sick of being a burden to his friends, and he's determined to hold his own in battle today.

It doesn't take them long to spot the two ruined pillars sticking out of the ground, along with what—or who, rather—is in between them. Noct groans. "What is _he_ doing here?" he asks, a scowl settling on his face. "And how does he know that we'd be here today?"

Ardyn looks up as he hears the chocobos approach, tipping his fedora to them in greeting. Next to him, Noct hears Ignis make a quiet noise of disgust. He rather agrees. He really doesn't want to deal with the chancellor anymore. Back at the Disc of Cauthess had been more than enough for him.

"Maybe it won't be so bad?" Prompto offers hopefully, but Noct only sighs.

Not even five minutes later they're trudging behind Ardyn on foot, following some semblance of a path to the ruins they'll be going through. Noct glares at Ardyn's back as they walk. The man had been as enigmatic as always, brushing aside any attempts at questions and insisting they do as he wished. Noct had really wanted to refuse, and it galls him that he couldn't.

A startled yell from Prompto makes Noct whirl around, just in time to see a sahagin swipe its claws at his friend. He pulls his lance from the Armiger with a wince, and warps at the creature without thinking twice about it. "Fuck," he gasps as he lands, feeling his stomach twist unpleasantly at the crushing sensation on his body, but he ignores the pain, freeing his lance from the sahagin's tough hide and preparing to attack again.

"Noct! You okay, buddy?" Prompto asks anxiously, even as he pulls his gun out from the Armiger.

Noct grits his teeth at the sharp pull coming so soon on the heels of the agony from warping. "Fine," he says. "Let's take them out!"

The battle's tougher than it should be, and it's frustrating, because Noct _knows_ he can do better than this. But he's so tired, and still worn out from the fight with that woman yesterday, and he can't get his body to cooperate with his brain. He falls more than rolls as he dodges a sharp snap of teeth, and then springs back up to twist and jam his lance into the sahagin's neck. It lets out a grunt, slashing at him, and though he moves away he's not quite fast enough, its claws catching the edge of his arm. Blood wells up, but he ignores it, stabbing again, this time hitting the mark he'd intended the first time, his lance driving deep into its skull.

At one point Noct takes a breather to glance around, and notices Ardyn leaning casually against the crumbles of some old ruins, arms folded loosely across his chest as he watches the battle from a safe distance. Noct has no idea if the man can even fight, but it's irritating to him nonetheless. It makes it seem like they're protecting Ardyn, which Noct has no intentions of doing, no matter how helpful the man might be.

A snarl redirects his attention to the fight, and he takes out another sahagin, only to be knocked over from behind by a third. He scrambles away fast before it can pin him, and then climbs to his feet, tossing his lance at its back. He warps after it, holding back a cry of pain when he lands on it, but he can't keep himself from stumbling, his grip faltering. He yanks his lance out and somehow manages to keep from falling. It growls, trying to turn around for an attack, but Noct's luckily fast enough to keep behind it, looking for a good opening to strike.

"Noct!" Ignis calls, tossing him his own lance, and Noct grabs it, jumping up in the air just as the sahagin swipes its tail at him. He uses all his body weight to drive both lances deep into the sahagin as he lands, the two of them piercing all the way through its body and pinning it to the ground. It lets out a shriek, struggling frantically, but it's completely trapped, and after a few minutes of furious thrashing it goes limp. Ignis comes up, retrieving his lance, and sends it through the sahagin's skull for good measure.

Now that the battle's over, Noct really wants to flop down on the ground and rest, mud and rain be damned, but a quick glance to the side tells him that Ardyn is still watching, so he simply flicks his weapon back into the Armiger and starts walking in Ardyn's direction. He doesn't want to show any weakness to the chancellor. Of course, given how heavily he's breathing and the fact that he's walking very deliberately in order to avoid stumbling, he's probably not fooling anyone.

"Ah, it seems the Lucis Caelum line is not what it used to be," Ardyn remarks as they draw near, confirming Noct's thoughts. "Has the Crystal already weakened you so soon? If only you had the ring."

Noct scowls in irritation, not deigning to answer the man. They follow him up to the old ruins in silence, and Noct's too exhausted to be shocked when Ardyn introduces them to Aranea.

"We've met," Aranea says, smirking.

"I'll leave you to it, then," Ardyn says, tipping his fedora to them again, this time in farewell.

"So, you're the new recruits they've sent over for special training," Aranea says. "Nice cover, runaway prince."

Cover? He has no idea what Aranea means, and no idea how to respond to her. He glances to Prompto, his eyes asking for help, but his traitor best friend merely shrugs, offering up a "Thanks!" to Aranea.

"Oh, c'mon!" Noct says in annoyance.

Aranea laughs, making Noct glance back to her in surprise. "Relax, I won't turn you in. I'm just here to help you get the mythril, nothing more."

"It's located inside the ruins, then?" Ignis asks, gesturing to the massive building ahead of them.

"Yeah, but you won't get inside til sundown," Aranea tells him. "Some sort of ancient magic keeps it sealed during the day. Better make yourselves comfortable for the next couple of hours."

"Great," Noct groans. At least now he'll have a chance to sit. He heads up to the ruins, and settles himself down onto the cracked and destroyed steps, putting his back against one of the walls, thankful there's an overhang that keeps the rain off him.

At first, his thoughts turn to Gladio once again, but amongst all the fear and insecurity and guilt, Ardyn's words of earlier keep echoing in the back of his head. _If only you had the ring_ , he'd said. What had he meant by that? Noct needs the ring, yeah, but how would it _help_ with the Crystal killing him? He would think that the ring would only kill him faster. He'd seen firsthand how fast it'd been killing his dad, after all.

And why would Ardyn even make such a remark, regardless of what he meant by it? There's always seemed to be something... _off_ , about Ardyn, ever since they first met him in Galdin Quay—he's always seemed to know more than he should about things. But this—how could Ardyn possibly know that the Crystal is killing Noct without the ring?

Does Ardyn actually _know_ something about it somehow, something that could help save Noct? Of course, if he does, Noct's chances for survival still aren't much improved, as Ardyn appears to find amusement in avoiding answering their questions, only dropping hints here and there. Noct's desperate, though, and terrified of dying, so even the slightest lead is worth pursuing. It's just a matter of deciding whether Ardyn is a lead or not.

He looks up at the sound of footsteps on the stone, watching as Ignis approaches, sitting down nearby. "Are you certain you will be up for this, Noct?" Ignis asks quietly.

Noct shrugs. "Don't have much choice, do I? I can't stay out here alone, the daemons will be out."

"Prompto or I could stay here with you, while Aranea accompanies the other of us inside."

"I'd likely be fighting daemons one way or another," Noct points out. "Might as well not split us up."

Ignis nods his head, conceding the point. "Indeed."

x x x

"Is that a bird or a lizard?" Prompto cries as a giant beast lets out a screech above them, descending from the balcony.

"Does it matter?" Noct asks, ducking as the creature sweeps low over them.

"It's a quetzalcoatl," Ignis says. "A formidable foe, indeed. They're very rare, and only reside in this part of the world. I never thought to see one in my lifetime."

"You can admire it after it's dead!" Noct says, grabbing onto Prompto's arm for support as the quetzalcoatl lands in front of them, making the earth shake.

"Less talking, more killing," Aranea commands, running up to the quetzalcoatl and sinking her lance into its side, drawing first blood. It lets out another screech, sweeping a powerful wing at her, but she's prepared for it, already jumping up in the air to avoid the attack.

Noct follows her lead, stabbing his own lance at the overgrown lizard, aware of Gladio's absence more than ever—big foes always seem to be right up his alley. And he has the feeling an extra person would be really helpful in this battle. Still, Gladio's gone, possibly for good, and Noct's just going to have to deal with it.

Sharp talons shred his side as he tries to dodge, and Noct grunts in pain, feeling the wetness of his own blood rapidly soaking his shirt. He rips a potion out of his Armiger, ignoring the _tug_ , and breaks it over himself, grimacing at the knitting sensation of his skin healing.

The battle seems to quickly go downhill after that. Noct tries hard to stay in the moment and focus, but his worries about both Gladio and Ardyn keep swirling around in his head, making it difficult. His only consolation is that his companions don't seem to be faring much better—he loses track of how many times one of them pulls a potion out of his Armiger. It doesn't help that the quetzalcoatl can fly, because it avoids many of their attacks with ease, and even the ones that connect don't seem to faze it much.

Noct desperately wants to warp strike at the beast, because he knows they'll stand a much better chance of defeating it if he does, but no matter how bad the situation looks, he can't bring himself to. Not because of worrying his friends, but because he's _afraid_. It isn't like the battle with the sahagins, where a couple of warps is all that's needed. No, it'll be on par with his battle against Aranea, or the base where the Regalia had been stashed. Noct can't face that pain again, he doesn't want to feel himself being ripped apart anymore, and it was all his warping with Aranea that was the tipping point that made Gladio decide to leave. He doesn't want Ignis or Prompto to end up leaving too.

"Doesn't this thing have any weaknesses?" Prompto calls to Ignis in frustration as he narrowly misses getting knocked in the head with a large wing, then has to roll frantically as crackles of energy arc down upon him. He springs up, firing his gun, a few bullets ripping through the wing that almost took him out, then quickly rolls a second time as the quetzalcoatl swipes at him again, shrieking in outrage as it sends down more electricity.

Ignis is silent a moment, circling around the reptile while it's distracted with Prompto, then slides a dagger deep into its flank, moving back almost immediately as it turns—but still not fast enough, as talons rake down his chest, leaving bloody gashes behind. "Ice," Ignis finally answers reluctantly, retrieving a potion from the Armiger.

"Oh," Prompto says quietly as he puts some distance between himself and the quetzalcoatl. "Never mind then."

"Never mind? If you've got it, use it! What's the point of those princely powers otherwise?" Aranea calls to them, flying up in the air to land herself heavily down on the quetzalcoatl's back, shoving her lance deep in between its shoulder blades. It cries out in pain, taking off in flight. Clearly not expecting it, Aranea doesn't manage to keep her grip on her weapon as it flings her off, sending her crashing into a wall.

"Aranea!" Noct says, panic washing over him as his heart thuds fast in his chest. He rushes over to her, yanking a potion out and breaking it over her, feeling relieved when she groans and sits up. He barely knows her, but he can't stand the thought of anyone else dying for him. His dad, Clarus, Jared, everyone in Insomnia that fought... It's too much. It doesn't matter that Aranea is technically the enemy, that's she a part of the Niflheim army. Right now she's down here fighting with them, _for_ him, and he can't let her die on his behalf.

Eyes hardening, he straightens up, firm in his sudden resolve. Leaving Aranea to rest for a moment, he angles himself within enough distance of the quetzalcoatl, then takes a deep breath and pulls out a blizzard spell he'd crafted ages ago, tossing it at the beast. The shattering tinkle echoes loudly around the spacious room, and a cold sheet of frost breezes throughout it, swirling gently around him, making him shiver even as he cries out at the pain in his core, clutching at his chest with a few gasping breaths.

"Noct!" Prompto cries, panic edging his voice as the magic begins to dissipate. "You shouldn't—"

"We're not going to win otherwise!" Noct yells back at him. "Just do it! I can handle it!"

Prompto lets out several noises of distress, firing frantically as the quetzalcoatl snaps at him, trying to bite him. He rolls into a dodge, scrambling away from it, then lets out a frustrated yell as he pops back up, grabbing another blizzard spell out of Noct's Armiger. Noct feels Ignis get one too, and swallows hard. "Not simultaneously," he says. "Please."

"Understood," Ignis says, letting Prompto throw his first. It hits its mark, the quetzalcoatl crying out in pain as it's engulfed in icy frost. Aranea's up again by now, and takes advantage of its incapacitated state to retrieve her lance from where it's still buried in the beast's back.

When she's clear of the quetzalcoatl, Ignis glances uncertainly to Noct, who's sunken down to the ground, breathing heavily, hand still grasping at his chest, his face obviously scrunched up in agony. "Just do it, Specs," Noct says through gritted teeth.

Ignis nods, but grapples with his hesitation for another moment, before finally hurling the spell towards the quetzalcoatl. Noct tries not to, but the pain is overwhelming, and he can't help but let out a quick scream as the spell activates. Ignis is by his side immediately, dropping down in front of him and grabbing his hand, squeezing it. "Steady, Noct," he murmurs. "Deep breaths. It will fade."

Noct does as he says, watching through blurred vision as Prompto and Aranea work together to finish the quetzalcoatl off, at last bringing the giant reptile crashing down to the ground, squawking in its dying throes. Prompto rushes over to him as soon as it's down, plopping down next to him and looking him over, distraught at Noct's obvious pain, although it's already faded considerably. "I'm sorry, Noct, I'm sorry," he babbles. "I didn't want to, I didn't mean to hurt you, is it bad, are you okay, I won't do it anymore, I'm sorry—"

"Prompto," Noct says loudly, cutting off his best friend's word vomit. He waits until Prompto's quiet, meeting his gaze. "I told you to," he says then. "I'm not blaming you. You don't have to apologise to me." He cuts his eyes over to Ignis. "That goes for you too."

They both look at him, stricken expressions on their faces, and then Ignis squeezes his hand again briefly, letting Noct know he understands. Prompto isn't as easily reassured, however. "Noct..." he says, his voice wavering, but Noct shakes his head.

"Please, Prompto," he says, begging his best friend with his eyes. "Don't blame yourself."

Prompto gazes at him longer, before finally sighing reluctantly. "Okay," he says unhappily.

Aranea ambles over to them then, holding out a shiny, silvery ore. Noct takes it, looking up at her. "Thank you," he says quietly, not referring to just the mythril.

She nods, catching on to his deeper meaning. "What's up with you?" she asks then, raising her eyebrows.

He sighs. Normally he wouldn't go around telling his enemies his secrets, but given that Ardyn seems to already know somehow, keeping the information from her seems moot. And he's not so sure she really is an enemy. "The Crystal your army stole is killing me even without the Ring of the Lucii."

Her eyebrows rise even higher. "No kidding."

Noct shrugs. "It shouldn't be. The power comes from the ring, so I'm not sure what's going on. Anyway, using anything related to the Crystal's magic causes me pain."

"There's been rumours, talk of the Crystal flying around since it wound up in Gralea. That somehow it poses a specific threat to daemons, and that it can't be fully harnessed without the power of ring."

"The second part's definitely true, at least..." Noct confirms. "I'm not sure about the first, though. The Wall kept daemons away, but..." He trails off, shrugging again.

"Yes, I'm afraid some of the Crystal's secrets are a mystery to even the royal family still," Ignis says.

"I did overhear that creep chancellor say something to Commander Ravus once," Aranea says hesitantly. "It was something about how 'that fool boy is running around getting the blessing of the Astrals without the ring, we can't have him killing himself just yet,' I believe. Then he'd asked if the commander had found the Lady Lunafreya." She shrugs. "Obviously he was talking about you."

Noct blinks, uncertain what to make of Ardyn's words, and wonders if Aranea had heard them right. He looks to Ignis questioningly, but his advisor only frowns.

"I believe the meaning of that is unclear to us," Ignis says. "But it is information worth pondering nonetheless. Thank you, Aranea."

"Does that mean we can get out of here now?" Prompto pipes up, glancing around at them hopefully. "I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to be here when that thing starts to stink."

A startled laugh escapes Ignis at that. "Indeed, Prompto. I believe we have what we came for, and can safely take our leave."

"Yeah," Noct says. "Let's get out of here."

x x x

"I wonder where the big guy went," Prompto muses, reaching out to fiddle with the volume dial on the radio, switching it on. The techno music he's so fond of begins to blast out. "Do you think he's okay?"

"I'm confident Gladio is just fine," Ignis says, not taking his eyes off the road as he reaches to adjust the radio to a reasonable volume. Prompto pouts, but knows better than to fight him on it.

"What about you, Noct? Where do you think he went?"

In the back seat, Noct grunts, gazing out the window. It's still dark out, and the rain's still pouring out there, so he can't really see much, but it's better than facing Prompto's question. He hears a rustle of clothing that says Prompto's probably turning around to look at him, but he keeps peering into the night.

"You still mad at him?" Prompto asks.

Noct sighs, not answering. He's not mad—he's hurt. And scared. And blaming himself. And he absolutely doesn't want to talk about it.

After a moment, Prompto seems to sense Noct's not going to say anything, and faces the front again, pulling out his camera to fiddle with it, flipping through the pictures he's taken, being careful to keep the glare of the backlight off of Ignis' face. The rest of the ride is relatively quiet, only Prompto's music filling the car and keeping it from complete silence. Noct tends to prefer more of a rock style, finding the electronic sound of Prompto's preferred genre grating, but the music helps keep his thoughts at bay, so he can't be too annoyed by it.

Much later, when they're back in their room in Cape Caem, all three of them laying the darkness pretending to sleep, Prompto speaks up from the other bed. "Noct?" he says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do... are you blaming yourself for Gladio's leaving?"

At that, Noct feels his throat tighten. Why does Prompto have to bring it back up? "I don't want to talk about it," he mumbles. He wishes he could roll over, away from Prompto, but Ignis is next to him in the bed, awake and listening to the conversation.

"You know it's not your fault, right? I know Gladio was upset, but I don't think he left because of you. He's been worried for you."

Noct chokes out some garbled noise at that, feeling his chest ache with sorrow. He wants so desperately to believe his friends, to think that Gladio's worried for him, and part of him _does_ believe it, but there's a bigger part that constantly whispers loudly in his brain, saying they're wrong, that Gladio doesn't care, and he can't seem to silence it. "I warped," he forces out. "With Aranea, at the base. And then he left."

"Noct, that's..." Prompto stops, letting out a sigh. He sits up, looking over at Noct, though it's too dark for Noct to make out his face. "I'm pretty sure that isn't the reason he left, buddy."

"What else could it be?" Noct asks, his eyes brimming with tears. He swipes angrily at his face, tired of crying. Between the bouts of depression and everything going on, he feels like crying is all he's done lately.

"I dunno," comes the honest answer. "But I'm sure it was important, something he felt he had to do. He wouldn't just abandon you. He's your Shield, isn't he? He wants to protect you."

"It's his job."

Prompto laughs, though it sounds sad. "Pretty sure he's gone way beyond the line of duty for you at this point, Noct."

Noct's quiet for several minutes. Beside him, Ignis' breathing changes, slowing down and evening out a little more as he finally drops into sleep. Noct envies him for it. He's so exhausted and worn out, all he wants is to escape the world for a while, but sleep eludes him, his thoughts too busy screaming at him and keeping him awake. "What if he doesn't come back?" he finally whispers to Prompto. "What if he left for good?"

"I don't think he did. He's gonna come back, Noct. I know it."

Noct swallows, feeling his eyes burning. "I hope you're right."

* * *

Thanks to this chapter, I can now spell quetzalcoatl without having to double check it. Mostly.

Also, I apologise for Gladio. Still.


	13. chapter twelve

I'm exhausted from trying to do nanowrimo and still do all the crazy amounts of homework I have for classes, so while I at least have the rest of this fic written, it's not edited as much as I usually do. Apologies for any typos that made it through.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter twelve_

* * *

"I want to find Ardyn," Noct announces later that afternoon when they're back up from the few piss-poor hours of sleep they'd all gotten.

Ignis frowns at him, looking at him curiously as he adjusts his glasses. "Any particular reason?"

"I think he knows something," Noct says, fiddling absently with his phone. He's been checking it since he woke up, but his message inbox has stayed dark and silent. Wherever Gladio is, he hasn't felt the need to text. It scares Noct, and has him thinking more than ever that Gladio's never going to come back.

"Yeah? Like what?" Prompto asks, looking up from an old photography magazine he'd brought with him. He's sprawled out on his stomach across the other bed, legs up in the air and ankles crossed. Noct's envious, because Prompto looks incredibly relaxed and he wishes he could feel the same.

"Remember what he said yesterday?" Noct answers after a moment, having to think back to the conversation he'd started. "He asked if the Crystal had already weakened me so, and then said _if only you had the ring_."

"So?" It's clear Prompto isn't making the connection between the two questions, but Ignis does, his face smoothing out as he leans back against the headboard.

"As if the Ring of the Lucii might help prevent the Crystal weakening you," he says thoughtfully. "That's most curious."

"Yeah," Noct says, leaning back next to Ignis. "As far as I know, the ring will only make me worse. Of course, Ardyn could have been messing with me..." Even though he's inclined to believe Ardyn's words, the man is still very much an unknown, a puzzling enigma that Noct doesn't know to solve.

"The chancellor definitely has his own agenda, but I don't believe he would lie to you. Every piece of information he has shared with us has been both true and helpful, even if we're uncertain as to the reasons why."

Noct nods at Ignis. "Right. So he probably knows something that could help me. I want to find him and see if he'll tell us anything."

"But Lucis is so big!" Prompto says, pulling himself up into a sitting position. He waves his arms around, trying to emphasise just how big Lucis really is, as if Noct hasn't been travelling all around it with them the past few weeks. "Where would we even look?"

"I was thinking we could go to Lestallum. Even if he's not in the city, there's a good chance he has been recently, and someone might know something." Noct sighs. "It's a long shot, I know, but it's the best chance we've got right now. And we have to wait for Cid and Cindy to finish repairing the boat, and for..." He trails off then, his throat closing up. He's afraid to say the words, because what if it doesn't happen?

"Gladio will return," Ignis says quietly, when it's clear Noct isn't going to continue. "In any case, I believe your idea has merit. We can set out for Lestallum at dawn, if you're agreeable."

Noct makes a face, not liking the idea of getting up so early. He knows they'll need the time though, if they're to get there and back in one day, and still have several hours free to look for Ardyn. "Sounds good."

x x x

The search for Ardyn the next day doesn't go well. Plenty of people that Noct talks to seem to recognise the description of him, or Prompto's one photo that Noct has on his phone, but everyone claims to have not seen him for several days at least, and no one can give him any useful information on Ardyn's potential whereabouts. Occasional texts from the other two tell him that they're not faring any better. Noct had known the chances of finding the man were slim, but it still leaves him feeling frustrated and dejected. Ardyn's his only lead, his only possible chance of figuring out what's going on with the Crystal, and he doesn't want to give up on it.

By the time the three of them meet up late in the afternoon, Noct's energy is flagging, exhausted from running around the city all day. He drops down on the bench with a groan, wishing it was a soft bed he could curl up on.

"Perhaps we could grab dinner at that little café over there," Ignis suggests, nodding in the café's direction.

Noct's not particularly hungry, but he knows food will do him good right now. "Yeah, okay," he says, but it's a few minutes before he can bring himself to stand back up and start heading over there. He doesn't pay much attention to what he orders—some sort of greasy, meaty sandwich that's terribly unhealthy and makes Ignis frown—but the food helps, even though he can only finish half of it.

"Maybe we can try somewhere else," Prompto offers, finishing up his last bite of daggerquill and rice. He sets his fork down with a satisfied sigh, leaning back in the booth.

Noct sighs. "Lestallum is the biggest city in Lucis aside from Insomnia. This was the most likely place to get info. We don't have time to run around to all the small towns and hope we stumble across him."

"Well, there's still another hour or two before we must begin heading back to Cape Caem. We can keep looking for him, if you wish," Ignis says, signalling discreetly to their waiter for the bill.

"Might as well." He doesn't feel very hopeful about their prospects of finding Ardyn by now, but it beats giving up and returning to the safe house to sit around idly while he tries to make himself believe Gladio will come back.

Ignis drops a few gil notes on the table to cover their bill, and then they take their exit, preparing to split up and resume their search. Noct's only taken a few steps outside when he suddenly halts, Prompto bumping into his back. "Noct?" he asks in confusion. Prompto steps around him, following his gaze. "Oh. Okay, that's totally creepy."

"I believe you've been looking for me," Ardyn says with a smirk, straightening up from the lamppost he'd been leaning against.

Noct approaches him, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at the man. "You've been here all day, haven't you?" he asks, a scowl settling on his face as Ardyn adopts an innocent look.

"Why, I've only just arrived," he says, and Noct's sure he means that smile to be disarming, though it's not at all. "I _do_ have better things to do than follow you around all of Lucis, Your Highness."

Noct feels a shiver run down his spine. Something about the way Ardyn had said that line, had said his title... he doesn't really know why, but he finds it unsettling and foreboding. Doing his best to brush it off, he shakes his head, giving the other man a searching look. Now that he's actually in front of them, Noct's not sure of the best way to go about getting the information he wants, at least not without being obvious about it.

The matter's taken out of his hands, however, when Ardyn speaks again. "You've come for information," he says, his eyes gleaming oddly. "You desire to know about the Crystal."

"Uh... yeah." He's not expecting Ardyn to be so candid, and he feels caught off-guard. Is Ardyn actually going to tell them what they want? _Can_ he? He still has no idea how much Ardyn really knows about what's happening with him.

"Come along then," Ardyn says, turning and beginning to walk off.

Noct hesitates, glancing at Ignis and Prompto. This meeting already isn't going at all how he'd imagined, and he still doesn't trust Ardyn. "Should we follow him?" he asks, keeping his tone low so Ardyn won't hear.

"Your call, buddy," Prompto says, shifting from foot to foot. He keeps casting looks after Ardyn, and then back to Noct, and his obvious anxiety is putting Noct on edge as well.

"We have much to gain by following him, and little to lose at this point," Ignis says. "I believe it would be in our best interests to see what he has to say. I do not think he intends to cause us any harm at this time."

Noct bites down on his lip, looking ahead to Ardyn, who's stopped and turned back towards them.

"Come along, gentlemen!" he calls, pulling his fedora off and bowing with it in a grand gesture. "You have my solemn word that no harm will come to you here."

"Yeah, let's go," Noct sighs. He doesn't trust Ardyn as far as he can throw him, but the risk of going with the man and having it turn sour is worth whatever information he might get in return. They follow Ardyn through the streets of Lestallum, until they get to a lesser populated area of the city, and then Ardyn ducks into a dead-end alley.

"You don't think he's lured us here to murder us and dispose of our bodies without anyone seeing, do you?" Prompto asks in an undertone, and Noct rolls his eyes.

"I believe this will be adequate privacy for the sensitive topics we have to discuss," Ardyn says, leaning against the wall of the building behind him. "It wouldn't do to have the wrong ears overhear, after all. Enquire away, gentlemen."

"Why are you willing to help us?" Noct blurts out. It's not the question he'd intended to ask first, but it's been on his mind the entire time they've been walking behind the man, and he _does_ want to know. Understanding Ardyn's motivations will make it easier to trust any information received.

"A man's reasons ought to be his own to keep, don't you agree? Let us just say I have... personal stakes, in seeing you safely reunited with the Crystal," Ardyn tells him, and that weird glittering is present in his eyes again. It makes Noct uncomfortable—for a brief moment, he has the impression that Ardyn isn't quite human, and it sends another shiver down his spine.

"Better than claiming it's out of the goodness of your heart, perhaps," Ignis says, though he gives Ardyn a distrustful look nonetheless.

Ardyn places a hand over his heart, looking wounded. He opens his mouth to speak, but Noct cuts him off, not in the mood for Ardyn's fake charm. He wants to get right to the point. "Why is the Crystal hurting me when I use its powers?" he demands.

"Oh, _is_ it?" Ardyn drawls. "I had _no_ idea."

"Yeah right," Noct mutters. "You said something about it, back at the Vesperpool. You implied the ring would help."

"Ah, yes, the Ring of the Lucii. Such a fascinating little piece of jewelry, really quite helpful. It is a conduit for the Crystal."

Ignis frowns. "I'm afraid I don't understand. Using the ring's powers will only kill Noct faster."

"It would seem that way, wouldn't it?"

"You sayin' it doesn't?" Prompto asks, scratching at his head.

"I wouldn't go that far," Ardyn says, smiling at them.

Noct growls. He really wants to wipe that smarmy look off Ardyn's face, but he knows punching the man will be more trouble than it's worth. Instead, Noct stalks over to him, getting in his personal space and slamming his hand forcefully against the wall next to Ardyn's head. Ardyn seems unfazed by the attempt at intimidation, regarding Noct calmly. "Oh dear, have I upset you?" he asks. "My apologies."

"Why bother letting us talk to you if you're not actually going to tell us anything?"

Ardyn reaches up, trailing a finger softly down Noct's cheek. It's ice cold, and makes his skin crawl. It takes everything in him not to shudder and pull away. Ardyn leans in closer, his face brushing against Noct's cheek. "Perhaps you have simply not asked the right questions," he murmurs in Noct's ear. His hot breath tickles against the sensitive skin, and Noct can't suppress his shudder this time.

Noct glares at him, dropping his arm and moving away, closer to Ignis in a subconscious desire to feel protected. "And what questions would those be?"

"Perhaps you should tell me."

"How does the ring help?" Ignis asks, looking directly at Ardyn. Noct's impressed at how unruffled his advisor looks, given how infuriating Ardyn is being. The man always seems to know just how to get under his skin in mere seconds, and Noct knows he must be getting under Ignis' as well, but Ignis is giving no sign of it.

Ardyn sighs, and then actually tsks at them, as if he's disappointed with their lacklustre probing, or perhaps their lack of ability to figure it out themselves. "The Crystal must draw its power from somewhere."

"Yeah, the ring. Which is why the ring slowly kills my family. Still not seeing the positive, here," Noct says crossly.

"Ah, but where does the power come from if the ring is not available?"

Noct stares at him in horror, dawning understanding creeping through his mind at Ardyn's words. _Of course_. Now that it's been pointed out, he doesn't see how he didn't realise it before. He's felt it every time the Crystal's magic is used, how painfully it pulls at him, how it rips away at his core and drains his life force. He's known the Crystal has been killing him—how could he have not made the connection that the Crystal was being powered by _him_ , and not the ring?

"I would not have thought that the physical location of the ring would make any difference," Ignis says, shifting subtly closer to Noct, letting their shoulders briefly brush together in a gesture of silent support.

To that, Ardyn merely smiles, saying nothing. Noct's too stunned to be irritated by it, this time. It doesn't matter anyway, because before he can even think of anything to say, Ardyn's making a show of looking overhead, at the sun beginning to dip lower in the sky as the day draws closer to sunset. "Oh dear, I do believe it's getting late. I believe we'll have to cut this short, gentlemen." He pushes himself off the wall, giving them his usual tip of his fedora as he takes his leave. "Until next time."

Ignis and Prompto both glance to Noct, their eyes asking if he's okay with letting Ardyn go, if he's satisfied with the information he's gotten. He's not, but he can tell they won't get any more out of the man, at least not tonight, possibly not ever. It's not the complete answer he was hoping for, but it's more than he had before, and possibly it's enough of something to go on. He waits until Ardyn's completely gone from their sight, and then he looks at Ignis. "Can we stay at the hotel here tonight?"

"I believe that would be acceptable," Ignis says, his eyes searching Noct's. "Are you feeling unwell?"

He shakes his head. "Just don't want to deal with the drive back."

"Let us be off, then," Ignis says. "The hotel is clear across the city. It will be a decent walk."

"Great." Noct's tired, and not in the mood for any more walking. But the prospect of a soft bed is a lot more appealing than a long car ride, so he forces himself to fall in step with his companions as they set off for the Leville.

x x x

Half an exhausting hour later finds them all piled together on one hotel bed, looking around uneasily at each other as they consider Ardyn's earlier words.

"Can someone explain this to me?" Prompto finally asks. "I'm not royalty, I don't know about this stuff as much as you guys..."

"From what Ardyn has said, it seems that perhaps the Crystal is drawing its power from Noct's life itself, rather than the Ring of the Lucii."

"I still don't get _why_ , though," Noct grumbles, crossing his arms.

"I believe Ardyn was implying that you must actually have the ring in your possession for the Crystal to draw from it. It seems the ring may only work if you're wearing it," Ignis says. "Of course, it's only a theory, but one I believe has merit, based on the chancellor's words."

"But how does that help save Noct?"

"I don't think it's so much about saving me," Noct says slowly, thinking through the conversation again. "He said the ring was a conduit."

"So it lets you die slower?" Prompto asks. His forehead wrinkles as he considers it. "That's pretty messed up, buddy."

"Yeah, but think about it. If the Crystal doesn't have the ring to draw from, if it has to draw from _me_ instead—I don't have nearly as much power. Of course it's going to kill me faster. When it's drawing from the ring, it's still taking from me too, but it's a much smaller piece. Like a tiny fragment of my core. It takes a lot longer to kill me. That's why the Caelum line has still lived to be fifty or sixty."

"We have what Aranea overheard to keep in mind, as well," Ignis says.

Noct frowns. "About getting the Astrals' blessing without the ring?"

"It must tie in as well, though I admit to being uncertain as to how," Ignis admits with a sigh.

Prompto shifts, unfolding his legs to stretch them out in front of them, taking care not to jostle his companions. "Okay but if all this stuff works this way, why hasn't your family known it before, Noct?"

"I don't believe anyone in the royal family has ever been separated from the ring in the manner that Noct has," Ignis says before Noct can answer. "You pointed that out yourself, Prompto."

"But again, I've been using the Crystal's power since we first left Insomnia, and even _in_ Insomnia, during training. Why hasn't it been killing me the whole time? Why start these last few weeks?"

Ignis looks away, down at his lap, a weary expression overtaking his face. His words come out reluctant, as if they're physically hurting him to say. "Because King Regis was alive until these past few weeks."

Grief and shocked understanding slam into Noct, as he stares numbly at Ignis, who's still avoiding his gaze. It makes a sickening sense. Noct hasn't been able to pinpoint the exact moment he first became aware of the _tugs_ he started feeling on his core, but he knows they had been within a few days of Insomnia's fall— _after_ the fall. After his dad's death. When Noct was the only one left for the Crystal to draw power from. "It couldn't draw from the ring anymore," he mumbles, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"It lends support to the theory that you must be wearing the ring for it to be... 'active,' shall we say."

"So as long as someone in the Caelum family is wearing it, the Crystal will take power from the ring, and they can all safely use magic?" Prompto shakes his head. "Maybe you should let Niflheim have the Crystal after all." He quickly holds up his hands in defense when Noct gives him an annoyed look, letting out a rough laugh. "Hey, just kidding! I know we need it back. Still, this sucks."

"This changes nothing though," Noct says wearily.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean our plan is the same as it's always been. Get to Altissia, find Luna, get the ring."

"And in the meantime?" Ignis asks.

Noct looks at him, his eyes tired and resignation written all over his face. "We go on as we have been."

"But Noct, we'll hurt you! And the Crystal—"

"I know, Prompto! But we don't have any other choice. Try not to use my magic, okay? We'll be to Altissia soon. I'll be fine." Noct does his best to sound confident as he says it, but the truth is, he's really not sure at all. He might not be fine. He has no idea how much damage the Crystal's done to him already, though given that he's thrown up blood, it's probably a significant amount. But there's no way to know how much his lifespan has been shortened, how much longer he has until the Crystal kills him. If he gets the ring, he'll have considerably longer to live. But he doubts the ring will reverse what's already happened. If he survives this, his life will still be so much shorter than his friends. The thought hurts, a lot.

It feels so unfair. He's already been through so much, already been doomed to die before everyone else, why does this have to happen to him too?

Ignis sighs, removing his glasses to rub at the bridge of his nose. He looks upset, not that Noct can blame him. This has been hard on all of them. But even though he hates seeing them so worried for him, he can't regret telling them anymore. He hadn't realised how much he was missing their support until he had it. The weight on his shoulders is still heavy, but so much easier to bear knowing that Ignis and Prompto have his back. He only wishes he could know the same for Gladio. Though if Gladio doesn't come back, he supposes he'll have his answer.

Discreetly, he pulls out his phone to check it. Still no messages. It puts a sick feeling in his stomach. He'd sent one message to Gladio, much earlier this afternoon. It had simply said, _When are you coming back?_ If Gladio can't even answer him that... Noct really doesn't want to think about it. He needs Gladio to come back. He needs all three of his friends by his side.

"I suggest we head back to Cape Caem in the morning," Ignis says, watching Noct as he locks the screen on his phone. "We can check if there's been any word from Gladio."

"There won't be," Noct mumbles, more to himself than Ignis. His words elicit a displeased frown, but Ignis doesn't try to dispute them.

"Isn't there another tomb around here?" Prompto asks loudly, no doubt trying to move on from the touchy subject. "At the Myrlwood? Cor gave you the coordinates, right?"

Noct nods, unlocking his phone again and pulling up the message from Cor. "Yeah," he confirms. "Myrlwood's one of the places."

Ignis pulls their map from his back pocket, spreading it out between them. "Yes, Myrlwood isn't too far from the Vesperpool. It would certainly be more efficient to go from Lestallum, than to have to go after returning to Cape Caem. However..." He trails off, not saying anything else, and Noct looks up from checking his messages for the hundredth time. It's not like Ignis to leave his sentences dangling. He's always so precise.

"However?" Noct prompts him, when it's obvious Ignis isn't going to go on.

"...I'm not sure now is the right time to go," Ignis finally says with a sigh.

Noct frowns at how reluctant he sounds. He's pretty sure he's not going to like the answer, but he has to ask anyway. "Why?"

"We are down a man, and you are already struggling," Ignis has apparently decided that since Noct's asking, he's going to be blunt. "I'm worried that you won't be able to handle whatever might be lying in wait for us on our way to the tomb. It would not take much for you to become exhausted and unable to fight well."

Noct makes a face. "Don't hold back or anything, Specs..." Ignis isn't wrong, though. Still... "Look, we don't have the luxury of worrying about that. I need the Royal Arms, and Luna's waiting."

"Noct... maybe Iggy's right. What if you end up passing out again, or worse..."

"Prompto... Iggy..." Noct pauses. His throat's swelling up with too much emotion, touched by how much his friends care about him, but overwhelmed with guilt and sadness that he's put them in such turmoil. He swallows hard, trying to tamper down his feelings enough to talk again. Later when they're in bed and trying to sleep, that's when he can give into the depression that's lurking around the edges. For now, he needs to keep it together. "I know I can't ask you not to worry, or even to trust me, but—I can tell when it's getting to be too much. I promise, I won't let it get that far. I'll let you guys know, and do whatever you think is best."

Ignis looks at him, his face solemn. "We have your word?"

Noct nods. "You have my word."


	14. chapter thirteen

Next to last chapter! This would have been up earlier in the day, but I got drunk last night and slept in late. Sorry.

* * *

 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter thirteen_

* * *

"I think that went well," Prompto says, his eyes shining brightly as he grins over at Ignis.

Ignis doesn't look at him, keeping his eyes on the road, but even from the back seat Noct can tell by the rigid tension in his shoulders that his advisor is likely gripping the steering wheel tightly, glowering through the windshield as he tries to keep his agitation in check. "Yes, very much how I prefer to spend my afternoons," Ignis says, his voice flat and unamused.

"Oh come on, Specs, it was funny," Noct says, grinning along with Prompto as he recalls the afternoon's antics. Chasing after a chocobo to retrieve the glasses it had pecked right out of Ignis' hands when he'd removed them for cleaning hadn't been how Noct pictured things going, but he can't deny it had been fun, even if Ignis clearly doesn't agree.

Ignis glances at him in the rearview mirror, his aggravated expression softening some as he takes in the amusement on Noct's face. "I suppose there is a certain humour to be seen in it after the fact," Ignis grudgingly admits, bringing his eyes forward to the road again. "All the same, I would prefer not to run into any more unwitting chocobo thieves."

Noct lets out a snort at that, before resting his head against the Regalia's window and closing his eyes. Though he'd enjoyed himself while running through the forests of Myrlwood after that chocobo, it had also tired him out after all the battles they'd fought before. The couple of battles they had fought after he'd retrieved the shuriken from the tomb had also alerted him to the increased pain in his core, and contributed to his exhaustion. Now that they're in the car and heading back to Cape Caem, he's going to take the opportunity for a quick nap.

He easily drops into a light doze, and only wakes when he senses the car stopping, before Ignis turns the engine off. "We here?" he mumbles, throwing a hand over his mouth to cover an unexpected yawn.

"Yep!" Prompto says. "Come on, sleepyhead! You can be lazy in the house instead."

Noct flips him off in lieu of a comeback, but privately he's glad Prompto's relaxed around him enough to joke about his 'lazy' sleeping habits again despite knowing better of them. Things are still weird and tense at times, and both of his friends clearly worry over him still, but they all seem to be regaining some equilibrium, working out a new normal. Noct's relieved by it.

They make their way up the path, Ignis and Prompto both taking it slow for Noct, and when they finally reach the safe house several minutes later, Gladio is there waiting for them, his large frame leaning casually against the railing of the porch as he talks to Iris. He gives them an easy wave as they approach, and Noct realises with a jolt that there's a new scar running down his chest. He halts in his tracks, flooded with a wave of conflicting emotions that leave him floundering.

He can't believe Gladio's actually come back, but rather than being happy about it, he finds that he's _angry_ , and he doesn't know how to even begin approaching that fact.

"Hey, guys," Gladio greets them as Iris heads back inside, their conversation apparently over.

Prompto and Ignis glance at each other, and then at Noct who's still frozen in place, and Prompto shifts from foot to foot as Ignis finally says, "Welcome back, Gladio."

Prompto opens his mouth, thinks better of it, darts his eyes to Noct again, then back to Gladio and opens his mouth once more. "Where ya been, big guy?"

"With Cor," Gladio says, rubbing at the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "I'll explain it later. Where have you guys been?"

"Here and there," Ignis replies. "Shall we—"

"Not one text," Noct says abruptly, his voice growing louder with each word. He hasn't even registered the conversation already taking place. "Not _one. Fucking. Text_ , Gladio!" He's trembling now as he stands there looking up at his Shield, body taut and fists clenched at his side. He can't believe the way Gladio's acting, as if—as if it didn't matter that he'd left without an explanation, that he'd not contacted them once, that he'd been treating Noct like _shit_ before, and now he's coming back and treating them so casually, like everything's fine, like he hadn't accused Noct of being selfish enough to want to _die_ —

"Noct—"

Ignis holds up a hand, stopping Gladio's words, and then swiftly pulls Noct away, off to the side, Prompto following them. "You have every right to be angry, Noct," he says quietly, "but at least give Gladio a chance to explain first."

"He's acting like nothing happened," Noct hisses, seething with anger. "Like he wasn't angry and yelling all those things at me before, like he didn't run off and _abandon_ me without even a _word_ —" His voice cracks then, and he stops, unable to go on as tears spring up out of nowhere, threatening to fall.

"Aw, Noct," Prompto says, his face falling when he spots the wetness lining Noct's eyes.

"He was an idiot, but I don't think he meant to intentionally hurt you with his absence," Ignis says, touching his gloved hand to Noct's arm. It's only a brief touch, but it calms him enough to see the truth in Ignis' next words. "I'm not telling you to forgive him, or to even not be angry; merely, that you listen to what he has to say, and then make a decision about your feelings."

Noct lets out a shuddering breath, wiping away his tears. "If he can be civil, I'll listen."

"Would you like some privacy?"

Noct thinks about it. It would be good to have their support, but he feels like it's a conversation that should be had with Gladio alone. "Yeah. Please."

Ignis nods, and then the three of them turn back to Gladio, who's watching them impassively, not letting any hint of emotion show on his face. Noct can see the anxiety in him, though. It's in his arms crossed against his chest, in his fingers tightly curled against his arms and digging into the skin there, in the way he keeps his eyes fixed on a point just over Noct's shoulder.

Noct's still mad as hell at him, but it's reassuring to see that Gladio isn't as calm as he's affecting.

"We'll be inside if you have need of us," Ignis murmurs. He brushes his hand against Noct's arm again, then he and Prompto head up the steps, and soon it's just Noct and Gladio.

"You, uh, wanna sit?" Gladio asks after an awkward moment of silence. "You look tired."

"Yeah." Noct goes over to the steps, settling himself down on them. He thinks that maybe Gladio is waiting for him to say something first, but Noct's not going to. He isn't the one that royally screwed up here.

Another moment of silence, and then Gladio lets out a long, weary-sounding sigh. "Kid... Noct... I'm sorry. I messed up."

"No kidding," Noct mutters.

"You know I wasn't really mad at you, right?"

Noct tries to say yes. On some level, he supposes he does, given that Ignis and Prompto had both tried to reassure him of that very fact—but on a deeper level, Noct hasn't been able to believe it, and the word sticks in his throat. He stays silent.

"Aw, hell," Gladio says, his shoulders slumping. He takes the few steps over to Noct, sitting down beside him, and scrubs a hand over his face. "I'm not good at this kinda stuff."

"Try."

"Noct... it wasn't you. I mean, it was, but not... I wasn't mad. Well, I was—" Gladio stops then, frustration evident in his voice at the way he's mangling his explanation. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I was scared, and mad at myself and the situation. Not you."

Noct waits, needing more, knowing that his continued silence will tempt Gladio into speaking again.

"It's—I'm your Shield, yeah? It's my job to protect you. I'm supposed to keep you safe from harm. When I can't, I feel like—like I've failed you."

Through the anger comes a pang of sorrow. "Some things you can't protect me from," Noct tells him softly.

Gladio laughs. It's hollow and bitter, and it hurts Noct to hear it. "I know. It doesn't stop me from trying, or getting angry with myself when I can't. But I was wrong to take it out on you. I lost my head for a bit, and I wish I hadn't. I'd take it all back if I could."

Noct glances at him, wrapping his arms tightly around his own frame in a sad semblance of a hug. "Did you mean any of the things you said to me?"

" _No_." Gladio sounds horrified, and it brings Noct's tears to come lurking again. "Gods, kid, no... I never should have said any of what I did to you."

"I don't wanna die."

"I know you don't. I don't want you to either," Gladio says, and Noct feels a lot of the fear and anger drain out of him at the sheer sincerity in Gladio's tone. He blinks a few times, trying to keep himself from crying. "Thinking you might makes me scared. It's not fair that this is happening to you. And I'm mad at myself that I don't know how to stop it."

"The ring," Noct says automatically, even though that's only partially accurate. It's probably not the right time to bring it up, either, but he latches on to the distraction. He's still struggling with his emotions, and he needs a few moments to process them before Gladio hits him with even more painful confessions.

Gladio looks at him, startled. "What?"

Noct sighs. "It's a long story, but we got information from Ardyn. The Crystal usually draws power from the ring, right?" Noct asks, and waits for Gladio's nod to keep going. "Turns out that only works if I'm wearing the ring, even if I'm not using it, so that it's 'active.' So the Crystal is drawing from me, and obviously I'm not as powerful as the ring, so it's killing me faster. I need the ring to slow it down."

"This is a theory Ignis came up with, isn't it?"

He gives Gladio a shrug. "We all came up with it together. As a team." It's petty, maybe, but he can't resist the slight jab at Gladio. He's not as angry now, but he's still _hurt_ , and he can't just put that aside and move on so easily.

"I'm sorry," Gladio says quietly. "I know I've hurt you, Noct."

"Yeah," Noct agrees around the lump in his throat.

"What can I do?"

"Just... stop fighting with me," Noct says, swiping briefly at his eyes, at the tears that are still stubbornly lingering. "I know I was wrong not to tell you guys, but I hate seeing you guys hurt as much as you do me. And I knew none of you would want to keep using my magic if you knew it would hurt me. But... it is my body, Gladio. And I do have the right to decide what I'm going to do, even if it will hurt me." He pauses, looking at Gladio solemnly. "I'm not trying to kill myself. I want to take Insomnia back more than anyone. Trust me, okay?"

Gladio nods. "I do, Noct."

"Then show it."

"Okay. Does that mean we're good now?"

Noct hesitates. He doesn't feel done with this conversation, doesn't feel that everything is completely resolved between them, but he knows how terrible Gladio is at dealing with his emotions—unlike Prompto, or even Ignis, Gladio's not going to get overly heartfelt with him. And Noct is _tired_ , after the day he's had. He doesn't want this to drag on for hours as he tries to get into Gladio's head. He's ready to put this behind them, and move on. "Yeah," he says. "We're good."

In a few days, he might even believe it.

x x x

The four of them spend the rest of the day trading stories. Ignis brings Gladio completely up to speed on the information they'd gotten from Ardyn and Aranea, and how that led to their theory. Gladio tells them of his time spent with Cor, and Noct tries to shove aside the hurt he feels while listening to it, still upset that his Shield had left without a word, and couldn't be bothered to text. He also tells them of another possible tomb location Cor had tipped him off to—one deep within some old ruins known as Costlemark, within the Fallgrove. There's also still the tomb in the Malmalam Thicket that Cor had texted Noct about, and since Cid's run into complications with the repairs of the boat, they decide to devote the next few days to hunting both tombs down.

Noct can tell that Gladio's still not entirely happy with the thought of him fighting and using his magic, but he doesn't say anything, or get angry with Noct over it. It makes him feel better, to see that Gladio is trying. It tells him that Gladio does realise he screwed up, and that he's making the effort to fix it suggests he truly cares for Noct. In the back of his mind, Noct's still afraid that Gladio hates him.

They wind up having a delayed start on the road the next day, because Noct can't bring himself to get out of bed in the morning, despite Ignis' numerous attempts to make him. By the time they make it to the parking area, it's late afternoon, and none of them relishes the idea of going into the thicket with sunset just a few scant hours away.

"There's a haven nearby," Ignis says, poring over their map. "We can make camp there for the night, and get an early start tomorrow."

"Sounds good to me," Gladio says.

"Don't you ever get tired of camping?" Prompto asks with a groan.

"Nope." Gladio flashes him a grin, cracking his knuckles, and Prompto winces, shaking his head.

They grab the tent and a few other supplies out of the Regalia, and make their way down the path to the haven. Noct dumps the bag of stakes down on the ground next to the poles, letting the bedrolls tumble down after them. Prompto and Gladio start setting up the tent, while Ignis deals with the cooking gear. Noct kneels down by the fire, arranging the few logs that had been left by the last campers, and gets a fire going. They'll have to get more wood soon, but for now the fire will do. It's not too cold outside at the moment, but Noct knows the temperature will rapidly start dropping as the sun starts dipping beyond the horizon.

When he stands up, dusting some stray ashes off his hands, he turns around to find that Gladio is halfway down the path back to the car. He feels his heart leap into his chest, a spike of panic sharpening his breathing as he watches Gladio's retreating back. "Where's Gladio going?" he asks, trying sound calm, but his voice comes out a little higher-pitched than he likes.

Ignis gives him an odd look. "I presume to retrieve some more things from the Regalia."

"Right." Noct nods, and tells himself to relax as he crouches down next to their bedrolls. He fumbles to unroll one so he can spread them out in the tent, but his fingers are shaky, and he can't get the straps undone. He carries them into the tent still rolled up, and lets out a slow breath once he's alone inside. Gladio's not leaving him. He's coming back. There's no need for him to panic.

Still, his body remains tense until he sees Gladio coming back up the path a few minutes later, carrying a few more boxes in his arms.

He shakes his head, telling himself that he's being ridiculous, and ducks back into the tent to undo the bedrolls, his now steady fingers having no trouble with the straps. When he gets back out, Gladio is gone again. Another jolt of anxiety thrums through him, his heart starting up a rapid pounding again as he looks towards the path.

"Noct? Is everything alright?" Ignis asks, his forehead crinkling in concern as he regards Noct standing frozen in place just outside the tent.

He wants to scream, _No, everything is not alright!_ He's fucking terrified, close to tears, on the verge of a panic attack that Gladio's going to leave without a word again, and perhaps not come back this time. There's a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and he's afraid he's going to throw up. Instead, he forces out, "Yeah."

He can't bring himself to move though, can't make himself stop looking away from the path where he is desperately hoping Gladio will be in a minute or two. He knows Ignis is still looking at him with that worried frown on his face, but it's not enough to override his terror, or make him try to hide his behaviour.

When Gladio finally returns again, he visibly sags as the tension drains from him, and he can't take his eyes off his Shield as Gladio climbs back up the rocks, setting their camping chairs down near the fire. Gladio senses the gaze, glancing over at him. "Something wrong?" he asks, his eyebrows furrowing as he regards Noct.

"I'm fine," Noct says instantly. He's not, obviously, but he and Gladio have only just begun to patch things up between them, and he doesn't want to screw it back up by admitting how hurt he still is by Gladio's leaving. They haven't talked about it at all, and Noct's not sure if Gladio realises that affected him as much as his harsh words and anger had—maybe even more than.

"Okay. Come set up these chairs while I go grab our bags, will ya?"

Noct nods automatically, his feet carrying him on auto-pilot over to the chairs. He grabs one absently, unfolding it and righting it, but his eyes are on Gladio still. It doesn't seem to matter that Gladio's said he's only grabbing their bags—his mind is running away from him, bringing up all the points why Gladio might be lying, and wants nothing to do with him anymore, and is going to leave him for real this time.

It takes him longer than it should to get the other three chairs up, and when he's done he falls into the last one, sitting rigidly, his hands tightly clasping the arms of the chair, staring back at the path for Gladio. Ignis and Prompto come over, having finished setting up all the cooking equipment, and take seats on either side of him. He's aware of both of them looking to him in concern, and knows they've likely worked out what's bothering him, but he can't bring himself to care.

Gladio comes back shortly with their bags, tossing them gently into the tent before zipping it closed, then takes the last available seat, eyeing Noct as he does so. "You sure you're okay?" he asks, looking pointedly at Noct's white-knuckled grip.

"Yeah." Noct forces his fingers to relax, allowing himself to lean back in the chair, willing himself to let go of the panic. He doesn't want another panic attack, especially not in front of Gladio.

"Who's up for King's Knight?" Prompto asks cheerfully, looking around at them with a beaming smile as he holds up his phone.

Noct recognises it for the distraction it is, but he leaps at it gratefully, pulling out his own phone and plastering a smirk on his face. "If you feel up to getting your ass kicked, sure."

The four of them play for a while, and Noct gradually relaxes the longer Gladio stays seated without going anywhere. Once he starts calming down, it's easier to reassure himself that Gladio's not going to leave him again. Gladio apologised to him. Gladio said he doesn't want Noct to die. He _came back_. He has no reason to leave. Noct's still hurt by everything, but he's dealing with it, because Gladio's trying to fix it. There's no need for him to panic.

And Noct even believes it, up until the moment that Gladio stands and starts leaving the campsite, in the direction opposite from where the Regalia's parked. Immediately the sick feeling is back, curling up low in his stomach as his head jerks up to follow Gladio's progress. He tries to ignore it, to focus on his game, but anxiety claws at him until he can't stand it, and he blurts out, "Where are you going?" He winces at how demanding the words sound, but he doesn't try to fix it.

Gladio looks back at him, his forehead wrinkling as he scrunches up his face, trying to figure out why Noct's suddenly so on edge. "Uh, to pee? Why? You wanna come along?"

Noct feels his face heating up, and knows he's probably bright red. "Fuck off," he mumbles, looking back down at his phone. He's embarrassed, and feels stupid for letting the anxiety get the better of him—but even worse, he feels stupid because the anxiety's still lurking around, whispering quietly in his ear that Gladio's lying. He tells it to fuck off as well, and stares blankly down at his phone until Gladio's back.

"I believe that's enough King's Knight for me," Ignis says, powering off his phone to save on the battery. "I'll get started on dinner. Prompto, would you care to assist me?"

"Sure thing, Iggy!" Prompto says, turning his phone off as well and shoving it into his pocket. He hops from his chair, going over to the small table where they've set up Ignis' cooking stove. "What are we making?"

"Nothing too fancy, I'm afraid, but we ought to have the ingredients for some stir-fry in the cooler."

Noct tunes his friends out, still staring down at his phone as he pretends to browse through his social media. It's not very active these days, given that half of Insomnia is probably in ruins by now—most of the posts seem to come from the Tenebraen parts of the world. He skims past clickbait articles speculating on Luna's whereabouts, and discreetly watches Gladio as he pokes at the fire. The flames have dulled down considerably as the logs have burned on, but they're not yet down to embers, so Gladio leaves it be and goes over to see if Ignis needs anything.

Noct continues to watch him out of one eye as he scrolls down his phone, bored with most of what's posted. He's never been big into social media in the first place—it's always been more Prompto's thing, and Noct had only signed up for his various accounts because Prompto had practically begged him to. As the Crown Prince, he's very restricted in what he can post online for public consumption anyways, and trying to maintain anonymous private accounts never worked for long—someone always went snooping around and managed to sniff him out, until he gave up. Now he maintains a restricted personal account to follow his friends and the few things he's interested in, along with an account for the general public where he adds back anyone who adds him, and makes the occasional neutral post to keep people happy. His personal accounts aren't anonymous, unfortunately, and he has many people following him on them, but he refuses to add anyone back that isn't a genuine friend, and doesn't post anything to them so that people generally aren't tempted to hack into them, or will find nothing if they do.

His dad's account is friended on his personal account. His dad mostly maintained it for the public, doing as Noct did—posting neutral but entertaining things every now and then. Sometimes he'd make posts that were clearly about Noct, expressing his pride for him. They'd embarrassed Noct at the time, and he always griped at his dad about them. Since learning of Insomnia's fall, he's checked his dad's account every day. There's never anything new, of course, but he checks anyway. Still somehow hoping.

Gladio heading off the haven again has him abandoning his phone, panic returning full force no matter how hard he tries to tamp it down. He goes rigid, gripping his chair tight again, feeling his heart beating faster and his breathing speed up. He doesn't want to say anything, doesn't want to make himself look like an idiot again, Gladio's not actually _leaving_ —

"Where are you going?" He almost groans at himself when it slips out again, but he just needs to _know_.

Gladio gives him a look that says he has no idea why Noct's acting this way, but he's getting irritated by it. "Astrals, Noct, Iggy asked me to get some firewood. What's got you so on edge?"

"Nothing," Noct mutters, hunching over in his seat and avoiding Gladio's gaze. He tells himself again how stupid he's being. He needs to cool it.

"Doesn't seem like nothing," Gladio says. "Come on, you can talk to me."

Noct says nothing. He doesn't want to admit how pathetic he knows he's being right now, and he doesn't want to make things worse between him and Gladio. At the same time, though, he really needs the reassurance that Gladio's not going to leave again.

"Noct?" Gladio tries, taking a few steps towards back towards the chairs, but Noct turns away from him. He looks over at Ignis and Prompto, clear bewilderment in his face. "Am I missing something?"

"Oh for Astrals sake, Gladio, he's terrified you're going to leave him again and not come back," Ignis says sharply as he chops up some peppers with a little more force than necessary.

"What?" Gladio blinks, taking the last few steps to come back around the chairs, facing Noct. "Is that true?"

There's a long pause as Noct hesitates before giving him a nearly imperceptible nod. He's embarrassed again, annoyed that Ignis told, but also relieved that Gladio knows and he doesn't have to be the one to admit it.

"...Shit," Gladio says after a startled moment. He sighs. "Noct... look, come with me to get the firewood, alright?"

"Yeah," he says as he gets up. They wander around in silence for a short time, Noct picking up the occasional decent-sized log here and there while Gladio seems to struggle with what to say.

"I guess I need to apologise again," he finally says with a sigh.

"It's fine," Noct mutters, even though really, it's not. He bends down to grab another piece of wood, avoiding his Shield's scrutiny.

"I don't think it is," Gladio says. "If you're panicking every time I'm leaving, I've clearly done a number on you. I'm sorry."

"Just didn't know if you were coming back," Noct admits quietly, jostling the wood in his arms as he tries to juggle it all.

"Not... Aw hell, Noct. Why on Eos wouldn't I come back?"

Noct shrugs, giving up as several logs fall out of his arms. Gladio comes over, picking them up, but Noct drops his entire pile, sinking down to the ground and leaning against a tree. After several hesitant moments, Gladio sets down his wood as well, and settles himself carefully next to Noct. "Talk to me, kid, please?" Gladio says quietly.

Noct pulls his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "You were so mad," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I thought... I was afraid you hated me. That you didn't want to be around me anymore."

"Oh man," Gladio says. He sounds upset, and Noct inexplicably feels guilty for it. "I don't hate you, kid. I left to go with Cor because I felt like I failed you, that I wasn't strong enough or... or good enough, I guess, to be your Shield, and I was so angry at myself for it. I needed to get away from the situation, to cool my head and prove myself worthy of you."

Noct buries his head in his arms as he listens, trying to reconcile this new information with all of his fears over the past few days. It's hard to do, and he doesn't know how to feel about everything anymore. "Why didn't you say any of this before you left?" he asks, lifting his head just enough to speak.

"I don't know," Gladio says with a heavy sigh. "It felt like something I needed to do. Didn't wanna be talked out of it, or make you guys worry, I guess. I wasn't really thinking."

"Yeah," Noct agrees softly.

"I'm sorry," Gladio repeats. "I didn't think about how it would look to you after... everything."

"Do you remember when I had to take those pills when I was sixteen?" Noct asks abruptly.

"The anti-depressants?"

"Yeah." He clasps his hands together around his legs. His palms are clammy, and there's a knot in his stomach. He hates talking about that time, but after everything that's happened recently, he needs to know. He doesn't know if he can ever move past what Gladio said otherwise. "Did Ignis ever talk to you about... them, and me?"

Gladio frowns, probably wondering why Noct is bringing this up now. "Not often. He'd mention when you'd changed prescriptions and would be adjusting for the next month or two. That's about it. Why?"

"He never mentioned why I changed them?"

"No. Should he have? I assumed they just weren't working for you. Was there something else?"

Noct swallows hard, the familiar lump in his throat back. He feels weak and shaky, and he's afraid he might throw up. _Gladio hadn't known_. Though it doesn't excuse the things Gladio had said during their fight, it makes them sting just a little less, knowing he wasn't making jabs at Noct's past struggles, or trying to hint that Noct should kill himself. He truly hadn't known.

"Noct?"

Gladio's still waiting, watching him with a look of concern. He almost wants to tell Gladio to go ask Ignis instead, but he feels like he owes it to Gladio to say it himself. "The first ones I was on," he forces out. "They made me want to... to not be—alive," he finally manages, stumbling over the last word. "I thought it wouldn't matter, that I was only an obligation."

"Shit, Noct, I didn't know," Gladio says after a startled moment, and there's pain and sorrow in his voice that's a soothing balm to Noct's feelings. It's slowly starting to sink in—Gladio really does care for him. Ignis wasn't lying to him to try and make him feel better.

"I wasn't sure," Noct mutters, wrapping his arms tighter around his legs. "I didn't know if Ignis ever talked to you."

"Iggy has always kept the things you tell him in confidence, as long as he's able to."

Noct nods as a shiver overtakes him. The sun's starting to descend now as it gets later, and the temperature is dropping, bringing the night chill. "We should get back with the firewood," Noct says, slowly getting to his feet. Beside him, Gladio does the same, but before Noct can bend down and grab the wood he'd dropped, he suddenly finds himself being enveloped in Gladio's large arms, being gently pulled in close to his large frame. He tenses at first, not used to Gladio hugging him, but after a moment he allows himself to relax, resting his head against Gladio's chest.

"You matter to me, Noct," Gladio says quietly, his voice a comforting rumble against Noct's cheek. "You're not just a duty, or an obligation." He lets out a low sigh. "I'm sorry I hurt you, and made you doubt that. I'm an idiot."

Noct laughs at that, pulling away. "Iggy said something along those lines."

"He knows me well," Gladio says, reaching down for the firewood. "Come on, let's get this back before the other two decide to come looking for us."

Noct nods again, grabbing his own pile of wood. Two conversations and a hug aren't enough to completely resolve all of his feelings over everything, but they're a good start, and for the first time Noct really feels that things between them are going to be okay.

x x x

Making their way through Malmalam Thicket turns out to be easier than Noct's expecting, though it's not by any means actually _easy_. Still, they eventually emerge from it victorious, another Royal Arms added to Noct's arsenal, and Noct manages to escape without any major injuries for once, though that's largely thanks to the close eyes his three friends keep on him, and Ignis forcing him to rest when his energy starts flagging. Noct's able to avoid warping or using any magic, and his friends are careful about pulling anything out of his Armiger, so his pain is thankfully kept to a minimum.

Costlemark Tower turns out to be an entirely different story. Not only is the place a terrifying maze, it's absolutely infested with daemons, many of which are impervious to physical attacks. Noct quickly realises that avoiding use of elemental spells is impossible. They're constantly having to stop and let him rest so that his core doesn't get overworked, or cause him to pass out from the pain. Noct loses track, given how dark the place is, but he's pretty sure they spend at least two nights in the place, maybe three. It's frustrating, because he hates feeling so weak.

Eventually, though, the four of them at last reach the depths of the ruins and stumble upon the old tomb, where Noct takes the Royal Arms into himself. The Crystal does its usual restless shifting and whispering in his mind, and Noct tries to ignore it as he turns to leave. He's ready to get out of this place.

"Alright, Noct?" Ignis murmurs as he stumbles, catching his arm to keep him from falling.

"Yeah." Noct nods. "Just tired. We've been in here way too long."

"You can say that again, buddy," Prompto says, his usual cheer gone from his voice.

"Okay. We've been in here way too long."

"Ha. Very funny, Noct," Prompto says as he rolls his eyes. Noct simply grins at him through his exhaustion.

The ride back to Cape Caem is quiet, the four of them too exhausted to talk much, but when they finally reach the safe house, they're greeted with the good news that the boat is at last repaired and ready to take them to Altissia.

"She's waitin' for y'all whenever y'all are ready," Cindy says with a smile.

"Thank you," Ignis says wearily. He glances to Noct. "We'll set out first thing in the morning, if that's agreeable?"

Noct makes a face at the thought of having to get up so early, but agrees nonetheless. Luna's waiting on him, and he's anxious to at last meet up with her and see that she's okay, as well as get the ring from her so he can maybe finally have a fighting chance at taking back Insomnia.

Monica's made dinner, and Noct eagerly inhales his, for once not even minding the vegetables in it. They hadn't brought much food with them into the ruins of Costlemark, and the rations hadn't been nearly enough, even for his diminished appetite of late. Afterwards, they all attempt to play cards in their room for a while, but they're all exhausted, and only make it through a few rounds before finally calling it a day.

Noct crawls into bed with anxious anticipation thrumming through him, thinking it will keep him up for hours, but instead he's out almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. Morning comes all too soon, and it's not long before Noct finds himself on the boat with his three friends and Cid, armed with nine Royal Arms, and at last on the way to Altissia to finally see Luna.

* * *

So, this was actually meant to be a part of the previous chapter, but it got too long. Sorry I made you wait even longer for Gladio's return. Hopefully you guys want to kill him a little less now? He's not perfect, and he sucks at talking out his emotions, but he's trying.

Also, if you've played it, then yes, Gladio's disappearance in this was his DLC, just for sort of different reasons in this fic. I tried not to touch on it too much because I didn't want to spoil anyone who might not have played it still, since I first posted this fic before it was out so people could have presumably gone into this with the expectation of there not being DLC spoilers.


	15. chapter fourteen

All the author's notes after this paragraph pertain to AO3, because I'm too lazy to change them. Also, I mention a sequel at the end, but there's a good chance I'll only be posting it on AO3. It's time-consuming to post in both places, and AO3 is way more active for this fandom. I haven't quite decided for sure though.

Final chapter! One last time, a huge thank you to everyone that's left me kudos and comments, to everyone that's bookmarked, to everyone that's subscribed, even to those of you who may have done none of those things, but are still silently reading. I initially never expected this fic to get much attention, so what I've gotten has been amazing and made me so happy :3 Thank you to all of you that have stuck with me this far, even when I disappeared for half a year.

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 **The Shadows Growing Tall**  
 _chapter fourteen_

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Noct comes to a halt as he at last stands in front of his goal: the Crystal. Over the speaker comes Ardyn's voice, saying, "Your journey is over, Noct," but he pays it no mind, gazing at the source of all his pain and suffering. It seems crazy that one magical rock is responsible for so much death and despair. So much has happened in such a short time since he and his friends had boarded the boat to Altissia. He'd thought then that things were finally looking up, that he'd have hope for a future, but instead they took a darker turn than he ever could have imagined. Now Luna's dead and gone, Ignis is blind, Prompto's been tortured... and he doesn't even know if all three of them are currently okay.

But now, he's finally here, reunited with the Crystal he's been seeking, the Ring of the Lucii at last on his finger, and he just might have a fighting chance after all. He reaches out to it, just as he hears footsteps behind him. Pain overtakes him the second his hand makes contact with the Crystal's force, wrenching hard at his core. Noct can't help it; he screams.

"Interesting," comes Ardyn's drawl behind him, and Noct manages to twist his body enough to bring the chancellor into his view, even as he can feel himself being slowly lifted by the Crystal's power. "Unharmed by the light. The Chosen King, indeed."

Noct glares at him, wanting to speak and refute his statement, but unable to for the pain. He's awash in hatred for the man though—so much of this has been Ardyn's fault, and he still can't fathom why, or reconcile it with Ardyn's earlier help back in Lucis. He listens unwillingly as Ardyn tells his short tale, struggling against the Crystal's power all the while. When Ardyn says his true name, Noct's eyes widen in shock. He wants to not believe it, but it makes sickening sense. Ardyn being a Lucis Caelum—and the first, at that—of course he'd understand the Crystal and the ring better than anyone.

The last thing Noct sees before he disappears completely into the Crystal is Ardyn's face, a smug smile of satisfaction upon it.

He zones out for a time, and when awareness comes back, the pain is gone, and he finds himself held in the gigantic palm of the Astral that only can be Bahamut.

"The Chosen King," Bahamut rumbles. "This is not how things were meant to be."

Noct blinks, staring up at him. Given his situation, he feels strangely calm, and it makes it easier to address the Astral before him. "What do you mean?"

"The fate of this world falls to the King of Kings," Bahamut says. "His Providence consecrated in the divine Light of the Crystal."

"Is that where we are?" Noct asks, looking around briefly. "In the light of the Crystal?"

"The heart of the Crystal," Bahamut corrects. "It is in this place that the King is meant to gain the power to fulfill his calling."

"My calling?"

"The King was meant to have the ring from the beginning, so that the Crystal could shed the entirety of its Light unto the ring. Only then could the immortal Accursed be banished and Light restored to this world, for a price. But it has gone wrong."

"I didn't have the ring," Noct says. He thinks about Bahamut's words, and back to everything he'd learned over the course of his journey. _Shed the entirety of its Light..._ "The blessings from the Astrals, the covenants... the power was meant to go in the ring. Wasn't it?"

"Yes," Bahamut says. "As were the kings of old. However, it could not go to that which was not there."

By the kings of old, Noct can only assume he means the power of the Royal Arms that he'd hunted down all over Eos—in the end, he'd wound up with thirteen. "It all went to me," he says with wonder. "To my core."

"Yes," Bahamut says again. "The Astrals have now joined a part of themselves with the True King. Their power is his power."

Noct's not entirely sure, given Bahamut's odd way of speaking, but it sounds as if he's saying he literally has pieces of the Astrals' souls joined to his, through his core... which is an incredibly dizzying thought. Possibly it's why the Crystal never actually managed to kill him, despite how much he was directly powering it with his life to use his magic. And it also seems that he was meant to use the ring to purge the world of the Starscourge, only now he's mucked it up by not providing the proper power to the ring. "If I can't use the ring to kill Ardyn and get rid of the Starscourge, what am I meant to do?" he asks.

"By the blessing of the Astrals, their power will strengthen the King's power, and grant him the use of Providence by his own means. Only then will the Chosen One be able to fulfill his destiny. Without such strength, the immortal Accursed will strike down the Chosen King, and continue to bring darkness down upon our world."

Noct stares into Bahamut's unblinking face, trying to make sense of all that he's being told. He can't tell if the Astral's being deliberately cryptic or simply knows no other way of speaking. "Providence?"

"A power greater than even that of the Six, purifying all by the Light of the Crystal and the glaives of rulers past. Only at the throne can the Chosen receive it."

The power to actually destroy the Starscourge then. Which the Astrals are apparently going to somehow give _him_ directly, rather than have him use it through the ring. Because he's apparently the Chosen King. He can remember Luna asking him once about being Chosen, but he hadn't understood what she had meant. He'd agreed and forgotten about it. He had no idea _this_ had been what she meant...

Noct shakes his head. He's beginning to find this overwhelming. He also can't help but wonder about the 'price' that was meant to be paid. He can't imagine it would be light. But the potential thoughts that come to mind don't bear thinking about.

"Go now, Chosen, into Reflection," Bahamut says, and Noct soon finds himself once again losing all awareness around him as he floats within the Crystal's heart. He has no idea how much time passes, or what's happening outside of the Crystal—all he knows is the throbbing pulse of agony in his core, and the eternal scream locked within his throat as he's engulfed with the pain of feeling his core expanding little by little, growing stronger with the Astrals' help. He senses when Bahamut eventually joins with the others, his blessing wrapping around Noct's core, tangling with it and the Crystal, and knows he won't have to suffer much longer.

When he wakes, it's dark out, and he doesn't recognise his surroundings, but he knows enough to realise he's no longer in Gralea, in the depths of Zegnautus Keep. There's a lingering ache in his core, but it's fast fading. He wonders where his friends are, how long it's been. Has it been days, or maybe weeks? Possibly months... They're probably worried sick about him. He needs to find them.

He gets up, making his way outside of the stone building he's in to find Umbra waiting for him, a note held in his mouth. _Be waiting... in Hammerhead._ The note is in Prompto's handwriting.

He pats Umbra on the head and then stands, looking around. There's a boat at the shore of the land he's on, which he dimly recognises as the island of Angelgard now. When he gets close enough, he realises it's his dad's old boat. Noct's not sure how it's here, when he last saw it in Altissia, but he's not going to question it. He manages to get it going, and begins heading in the direction of Galdin Quay, which he can see in the distance. The ride's eerily quiet. There's an unnatural stillness to the world that makes his skin crawl. And it's concerning that Galdin Quay appears dark... the resort's always stayed pretty active at night. It should be lit up, and he can't think of any good reason why it's not.

When he pulls up to the dock, he quickly realises why the place is dark—it's completely abandoned. More than that, it's falling apart, and he spots daemons in the distance, running in his direction. "What the hell happened?" he mutters to himself, pulling his sword from his Armiger. He barely has time to marvel at the complete lack of pain before they're upon him. He strikes out, catching one across the stomach, opening up a deep gash in it. Another goblin chitters behind him, and he whirls around, stabbing deep into its gut before it can claw him. The third one gets a sword to the skull, and he returns his weapon to the Armiger, looking down at Umbra who's waiting patiently by his side.

"What's going on?" he asks, but of course Umbra has no answer for him, merely cocking his head as he looks at Noct curiously.

Noct doesn't have time to contemplate anything, however, because there are already more daemons spawning up from the darkness, ready to attack. Noct shakes his head and pulls his sword back out, slowly fighting his way through the wreckage of the once beautiful resort until he makes it to the main road. He doesn't have any idea what's going on, and he needs to get to Hammerhead so he can reunite with his friends and maybe get some answers. He stays alert as he starts heading down the road, knowing it's going to be a long and dangerous walk, but he has little other choice at the moment.

He's only walked for a couple of minutes when he hears the rumble of a truck behind him—someone's apparently braving the daemons to drive at night. Relieved, he turns around, putting himself in the glare of the headlights and raising a hand to flag it down. It pulls over, and he rushes over to it thankfully, opening the door and climbing in.

x x x

All three of his friends are leaving Takka's diner when Talcott pulls into Hammerhead. The sight of them brings a lump to Noct's throat. For him, it doesn't feel that long since he's last seen them, back in Gralea, but at the time he hadn't been sure he _would_ ever see them again. And it's clear they've aged—their older appearances really help drive home the fact that it's been ten years. It's so hard to wrap his head around that. It's felt like only an hour or two at most since he's gone in the Crystal and come back out.

"Noct!" Prompto cries as Noct steps down from Talcott's truck. He excitedly taps at Ignis' arm before rushing up to Noct and throwing his arms around him. "It's really you!"

Noct sways, caught off guard by his best friend's enthusiastic hug. "Hey," he says, awkwardly bringing his arms up to hug Prompto back briefly, before stepping away.

"Hey? That's all you've got to say?" Gladio asks teasingly with a gentle punch to his shoulder. Noct smiles and shrugs. He's finding this whole thing very surreal, and he's not sure how to react. There's a strange sort of disconnect between him and reality.

"Noct. It's good to see you again," Ignis says quietly. "In a manner of speaking, of course."

Noct winces. For him, it still hasn't been all that long since Ignis was blinded, and he can't help the guilt that slams into him at the reminder. "Yeah, you too," he says. He studies his friends, taking in all their differences. There's more lines in their faces—from what, Noct's not sure. Stress, worry, simply growing older? Prompto's got a ridiculous looking goatee that Noct plans to tease him about at the first appropriate opportunity. Gladio's grown his hair out more, pulling it back into a ponytail that somehow makes him look even older. The wounds on Ignis' face have completely healed up into scars, and he's replaced his old glasses for a pair of dark visors. His hair's also grown out more, although unlike Gladio he's kept it in more or less the same style.

"I believe we have a lot of catching up to do," Ignis says.

Noct nods. "Yeah."

They head over to the old caravan, which has apparently become Prompto's home in the last ten years. The others let him take a shower first, while Ignis gets some food started. It feels just like it did before Altissia, before everything had gone so terribly wrong, and it throws Noct off. The disconnect widens.

In the small bathroom, Noct finally gets the first glimpse of himself in the mirror. Anxiety twists in his gut at the sight. In a way, he doesn't recognise himself—he feels like a stranger. He's changed too—he's got a smattering of facial hair, and his face has finally lost some of the softness it still had at twenty. It makes his skin crawl to see it, and he turns away before he can dissolve into a panic over it, deciding there will be time enough to think about it after all this is over.

He strips off for the shower, climbing into the small tub and soon enjoying the warmth of the water running over him, rinsing away the dirt and grime coating his body in an uncomfortable layer. His thoughts wander to his friends, and to the ruin that the world's apparently been for the past ten years. He can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like to live in darkness for ten years, constantly having to fight daemons and struggling to survive, all the while having to hope that he would come back some day and save them... Noct swallows, because it seems truly terrible, and he doesn't know how any of his friends haven't fallen apart by now. He'd always known they were strong, but he's learning now exactly _how_ strong they really are.

It seems crazy to think that he'd somehow been in the Crystal for ten years... He hopes it'll be worth it, that he'll at least have gained the power he needs to fix the world, and perhaps even survive it. He still can't believe that he has parts of the Astrals inside of his core, or that they were even willing to forge pacts with him despite him not having the ring. It also makes him wonder if there's any point to having the ring now. Despite knowing he'd needed to, he couldn't bring himself to wear it after Luna's death, not until he'd needed its unique powers while alone in Gralea. While he'd definitely felt the difference in having the Crystal pull from the ring instead of his core, it hadn't been as strong as he'd been expecting—probably because he hadn't powered it the way he'd been meant to. It still had its own powers, of course, but they'd felt very lacking. And now, given what the Astrals have done to his core, he suspects using the ring might actually kill him faster, because the Crystal would have to pull bigger pieces from him to power it properly—he's pretty sure he's stronger than the ring, now.

When he gets out of the shower, he finds Prompto and Gladio sitting together on one of the beds in the caravan while Ignis continues to prepare their dinner in the small kitchenette. Noct takes a seat on the bed opposite them, which gives him a good view of Ignis. He watches his friend cook for a while, silently marvelling over how at ease Ignis seems in the kitchen, despite not having his vision now. It's such a difference from the first weeks after he'd been injured, when he'd been hesitant to even walk at times. It had broken Noct's heart, to see his normally put-together and independent friend struggling so much. He's glad that Ignis has learned to compensate and regain a new sense of normality for himself, but he can't help but wonder at what cost it had come.

The three of them update Noct over dinner outside at the small table by the caravan, giving him a brief run-down of everything's that gone on in the past ten years during his absence. He's not at all surprised to learn that Niflheim's once mighty empire has fallen apart into nothing, but it _does_ surprise him that Ardyn's taken up residence in the now otherwise abandoned Insomnia. It makes his blood boil—Lucis Caelum or not, the man has no business being there. Still, there will be time to deal with Ardyn later, so he puts the anger aside for now and continues to listen to his friends. He's startled to learn they'd separated a year or two after his disappearance, and says so.

Prompto looks at him then, sorrow briefly crossing his face. "It was hard to be together, with you gone," he says. "We're supposed to be a group of four, not three. It didn't feel right."

Noct glances between the three of them, his chest tight. He remembers those days at Cape Caem when Gladio had left, and he hadn't been sure he'd return. They'd been some of the hardest days of his life, and they hadn't even gone on for a full week. To feel something like that for _ten years_... he can't really blame them for not staying together. To have been only three instead of four—it must have been a constant reminder that he was gone, and that they didn't know if he'd ever come back, or what had truly happened to him. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "I had no way of knowing how much time had passed."

"Were you really in the Crystal this whole time?" Gladio asks.

Noct sighs, shoving his plate away. His appetite's gone now, Gladio's words bringing to mind all the pain he'd experienced in the Crystal, and all that Bahamut had told him. "Yeah," he says. "Bahamut was waiting for me in there."

"The Astral?" Prompto exclaims, shock threading through his tone as he drops his fork. It bangs against the side of his plate with a clatter, then falls to the floor. Prompto makes a face, bending down to retrieve it, sulking at the dirt that's now stuck to the tines.

Noct nods at him. "Yeah," he says again. "He had a funny way of speaking..."

"And what did he have to say?" Ignis asks.

"That I have to kill Ardyn and cleanse Eos of the Starscourge, because I'm the Chosen King."

There's silence for a moment as Noct's words sink in.

"If this were a video game, I'm not sure I'd like the sound of that, buddy," Prompto finally says with a nervous laugh.

Noct gives him a rueful look. "Trust me, I didn't either. Bahamut mentioned that there was a price that was meant to be paid, only I screwed it up by getting the Royal Arms and the blessing of the Astrals without the ring."

"A price? What kind?"

"He didn't say," Noct says, shrugging at Gladio. "I can take a guess though." He's a little astonished at how calmly he's managing to talk about all of this, but honestly he thinks it just hasn't become _real_ for him yet. It's disconcerting as hell to look at his friends and see how much they've changed when it feels like only yesterday they were all still in their early twenties, but it also lends a sense of unreality to everything that he knows will make him panic if he stops and thinks about it, so it's easier to shove it all to the side and focus on what needs to come next. Later, when all is said and done, that's when he'll allow himself to face the truth of everything and break down. Assuming he even survives. He's not sure if he's meant to or not. It's something else he refuses to let himself dwell on for the time being.

"How is it you're meant to defeat Ardyn and the Starscourge, then?"

"It was supposed to be the ring," Noct explains, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. "You were right, Specs, about me needing to have it for it to be active. If I'd had it, the power from the old kings and the Astrals would have gone to the ring, and I would have used it against the Starscourge. Instead, it went to my core. From what Bahamut said, I have pieces of the Astrals' souls inside my core."

Prompto's eyes widen. "So you're part god now?"

"Uh, I guess, technically?" Noct says, rubbing self-consciously at the back of his neck. "I don't think I get immortal life or any other special powers though... They did expand my core though, strengthening its powers..." He shudders, once more recalling the terrible agony of it.

"Pardon, expand?"

"I don't really know how to explain it... That's just what it felt like. But I think they meant for it to make me strong enough to use the power for Ardyn and the Starscourge through my core, rather than the ring."

Gladio frowns. "That seems sketchy as hell."

Noct laughs, the sound coming out hollow. "Believe me, I don't like it either. But I don't think have a choice. At least this way I probably have a better chance," he admits quietly, picking up his fork and toying with the food left on his plate as he avoids looking at his friends.

"A better chance for what?" Prompto asks, confusion evident in his voice.

"To survive, I would imagine," Ignis says, his voice as quiet as Noct's had been, and the words make Noct wince.

"...Oh," Prompto says, a stricken expression crossing his face. "Well, if the Astrals are a part of you now, maybe they won't let you die. Because they'd be killing a part of themselves too, right? They'll probably want you to live as long as possible." Prompto's voice is desperate. It makes Noct's heart ache, and for his sake, he hopes his best friend is right. Noct's not any more ready to die than he was before he got the ring.

"Maybe," he says, setting his fork back down again as he looks back up at them. "Either way, I need to go back to Insomnia and confront Ardyn. The time for me to take back the throne is long overdue. And I'll understand, if you guys don't want to be a part of this—"

"We're with you every step of the way, Noct," Ignis says, reaching his hand out until he finds Noct's, and places his own on top, fingers curling around Noct. Prompto and Gladio nod their agreement, reaching their hands out as well.

"Thank you," Noct says, forcing the words out of his suddenly closed up throat.

"We can set out as soon as you feel up to it," Gladio says. "Though we'll need time to prepare, and you should probably get some rest first."

Though Noct's not tired, he can't argue with the logic of that. He needs some time to decompress from the events of the last several hours—or ten years, really—and sort through his thoughts. He's still not willing to face most of it yet, but he needs to at least mentally prepare himself to see Insomnia again, and confront Ardyn. "Sounds good," he says, pulling his hand away and standing, stretching briefly. The four of them head inside, Ignis taking their plates to wash up, and Noct settles himself into one of the small beds, sprawling out as much as the tiny mattress will allow. He doesn't intend to sleep, but everything quickly catches up with him, and five minutes later he's out.

x x x

Fighting feels different now. Noct had noticed it briefly in the ruins of Galdin Quay, fighting against the myriads of goblins that had attacked him, but he hadn't really been able to stop and assess the differences, too overwhelmed with confusion at what was going on. Here in Insomnia, he's able to pick up on it easier. The most obvious difference is the lack of pain—though he can still feel the Crystal inside him, shifting restlessly and snatching at his core, drawing bits of his life away, it doesn't hurt at all anymore. He can also feel the power of the Astrals bolstering him, which is unnerving, but not unwelcome. And though he's still got the ring, it feels fairly useless now, given that most of the power is inside of him rather than the ring. He's also thankfully no longer getting easily tired out, and without the distraction of pain, he's able to fight with the ease and grace he once displayed back in training with Gladio.

Seeing Ignis in action is also impressive—he's obviously adapted his fighting style to account for his lack of vision, but he's no less deadly for it. In fact, Noct's pretty sure his skill now surpasses what he'd possessed when he could still see. Of course, he's had ten years of endlessly fighting daemons to adjust _and_ improve, but Noct feels a swelling sense of pride for him nonetheless. Everything had seemed so bleak and hopeless in the days following Luna's death—it had felt like nothing was going to be okay ever again. Ignis' new blindness and inability to fight had been one of those things. It's a relief to see that's turned out to not be the case, though it brings a new knot of guilt that he wasn't actually around to witness it. Like all the rest of it, he pushes it away to the back of his mind. He's not going to let himself lose focus, not now, when he's finally so close to his goals.

The four of them move through the shambles of the city smoothly, making their way steadily to the Citadel, or what's left of it. Seeing his once beautiful and majestic city reduced to crumbling buildings and abandoned vehicles, with daemons crawling everywhere, hurts him deeply, and fills him with a powerful wave of grief. Whatever else happens, he's going to make Ardyn pay for all the destruction and despair he's wrought.

He's not surprised when they reach the plaza outside of the Citadel and end up facing off against Ifrit, the last of the Six. He's also not surprised when Shiva lends her help to defeating him, though Noct's pleased to discover there's no pain from accessing her power. When he'd made use of Leviathan's power on the train just before they'd reached Tenebrae, the resulting strain on his core had brought him close to passing out, and he'd definitely thrown up blood again. Now, with Shiva, all he feels is a sense of strength and energy flowing through him, swirling coolly around his core like it belongs there.

Noct pauses just outside the entrance to the Citadel, looking back at his friends. "This is it," he says. "No going back after this." He'd expected to feel nervous, or afraid, or worried, but instead he's still strangely calm. He hasn't quite escaped the sensation that all of this is just some weird, detailed dream he's having inside the Crystal.

Gladio reaches out, clapping his hand to Noct's shoulder. "We've got your back."

"Yeah! Let's do this!" Prompto chimes in, pumping a fist in the air.

"Indeed," Ignis says, and Noct doesn't miss the hint of steel in his tone. "It's time for Ardyn to face the repercussions for all that he's brought upon this world."

Noct nods at them, and pushes open the door. "Yeah. Let's make him pay."

x x x

Noct stands before the throne, one hand on the arm as he stares down at it. Ardyn's dead, and his friends are outside, keeping the daemons at bay for him. They've all said their goodbyes, just in case... Noct hopes it doesn't come down to that, hopes that he'll still be here when all is said and done. It's been a long journey to get here, so much pain and suffering and despair... times when everything seemed hopeless, times when he'd never thought he'd reach this point, when he just wanted to give up and let Niflheim win. But he's here at last, walking tall as his dad had wanted. Noct can only hope he's made his dad proud.

"I'm home," he says quietly. "I walked tall... And though it took me awhile, I'm ready now." He moves in front of the throne, settling himself down into it. Growing up, he'd always had so much ambivalence about this moment, dreading the day he'd take the throne, hating the fact that becoming king would mean his dad would be gone, but now... It feels right. It feels like coming home. He belongs here, sitting tall in the throne.

Inside his core, he feels the Crystal shifting eagerly, sensing what's about to come. Noct takes a deep, praying to the Six that they'll let him live, and that he'll be strong enough to purge the Starscourge from Eos. "Kings of Lucis," he calls, pulling his sword from the Armiger one last time and slamming it down into the ground in front of him, "come to me!"

Pain rips into him immediately as power pulses through him. He can feel the souls of the kings of old flowing around his core, lending him their strength before they materialise in front of him, shining bright with the blue of the Crystal. One by one, they fly through him, stabbing their weapons directly into his core, the agony of it piercing deeply. It's worse than anything he's ever felt, worse than Titan, or the Niflheim base where he'd passed or, or when he'd summoned Leviathan—and yet, he refuses to scream, gritting his teeth and letting out only the occasional grunt. His grip on his sword slips as the torment intensifies, so he thinks of his friends, and of Luna, of all their love and support for him, and it's enough to keep him going through the pain, until at last only his dad is left standing there, hesitating.

"Dad," he says through ragged breaths as he draws his sword back up, "trust in me."

For a moment, he's not sure his dad will be able to bring himself to do it—and then his dad's flying at him, driving his sword deep into his core. For a moment, Noct's whole world narrows to nothing but blinding, white-hot agony, so intense he doesn't even have the breath to scream. It's gone in an instant, and then his whole body's going limp as everything goes black.

He opens his eyes only moments later to find himself in what looks like the heart of the Crystal again, Ardyn facing opposite him. Power bursts forth from Noct's core, rushing out of his body in a bright beam of light as the Royal Arms tear themselves forcefully from his Armiger and drive themselves into Ardyn's body, ripping him apart until there's nothing left, his body shattering into a million tiny pieces.

Noct collapses to his knees, breathing heavily as he stares at the spot where Ardyn was. It's finally over. Everything's done. Niflheim's gone, Ardyn's gone, the Starscourge is gone. Eos can finally have peace. He laughs in sheer disbelief, shaking his head. A wave of vertigo runs through him at the motion, making him sway dangerously, and then he feels himself fading away as unconscious rapidly overtakes him.

x x x

"Noct," Luna says.

Noct groans, his eyes fluttering open slowly as consciousness returns gradually. "Am I dead?" he asks as he realises he's still in the other realm, rather than in Insomnia as he'd hoped. And since Luna's here, he can't see how he _wouldn't_ be dead, given that she is definitely not alive.

But to his surprise, Luna shakes her head, smiling a little. "No," she says. "You are very much alive."

"How...?" he wonders. "I was hoping, but I didn't really think... Bahamut mentioned a price. I thought it was my life."

"It should have been," Luna agrees. "But the Astrals managed to strengthen your core enough to withstand the power of Providence, since the ring was no longer an option. You would have died before ever defeating Ardyn without their doing so."

He thinks about that for a while. "Doesn't seem like them, to do something so selfless," Noct finally mutters as he gets to his feet.

"Oh, I believe their motivations were still very much selfish," Luna says. "They simply work in your favour, now, rather than against it."

"Wait, I'm not immortal now, am I?" Noct asks fearfully, as the possibility of it hits him. He doesn't want to end up like Ardyn—nor does he want to outlive all his friends.

Luna laughs—it's a lovely, melodic sound that sends a wave of sorrow crashing over him. If only he'd been able to hear that laugh while she was still alive. Hatred for Ardyn flickers through him. The man's dead now, but it doesn't make Noct feel as better as he'd thought it would. "No," she says. "There isn't enough of the Astrals in you for that, nor do they possess the power to grant you that. Though you'll no longer have to worry about dying before your time, Noctis. You're strong enough to live the long life you deserve, and I guarantee the Astrals won't want to give up pieces of themselves before they have to." She winks at him.

Noct stares at her, trying to take it all in. "What about the ring?" he eventually asks.

She shrugs. "It is yours to do with as you wish. You may no longer need it, but any of your heirs would probably find it helpful, if you intend to continue using the Crystal's magic."

Noct nods absently. "If I have a strong enough core that kept me alive through purging the Starscourge, why did I wake up here, instead of the Citadel?"

Luna smiles at him, a sheepish look of guilt on her face. "I'm afraid that was my doing," she says. "I wanted a chance to say goodbye."

"Luna..." His chest feels tight, his heart aching as guilt and grief swell through him, rising up and choking him. He can't help but feel responsible for her death, though it was Ardyn's hand that killed her. And the feeling's even worse, knowing that he didn't even need the ring she'd worked so hard to keep safe for him. "I'm so sorry, about everything..."

She shakes her head, reaching out a hand to place it gently against his cheek, her thumb softly moving back and forth across it, caressing him. "Hush," she says quietly. "I do not blame you. Had Ardyn not killed me, my continued communing with the Gods would have done so. I was already dying when you reached Altissia, Noct."

A few tears slide down his cheeks as he hears the truth of her words. "You wouldn't have been communing with them if it weren't for me."

"It was my destiny to do so, to help save Eos," she murmurs. "I do not regret it. Knowing that you were able to escape your fate and survive is relief enough." She leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. "I don't want you to grieve for me. I want you to live on, to at last take back your city and become the great king I always knew you were meant to be, with your friends standing strong by your side. Promise me that, Noctis."

He lets out a shuddering breath, briefly squeezing his eyes shut before he looks at her, meeting her steady gaze. "I promise," he says hoarsely. "I'll make you _and_ my dad proud, Luna."

She smiles once more at him, and it's the last thing he sees before the world fades away again.

x x x

When Noct comes to, it's to find himself lying on his back on the floor of the throne room in the Citadel. He's sore all over, and completely exhausted, but as Luna had said, he's definitely very much alive. For a moment, he doesn't react—and then he laughs and laughs, the sound echoing all around the large room, and then suddenly he's sobbing, huge gasping breaths bursting violently out of him as tears stream down his face, the reality of everything finally hitting him.

He doesn't know how long he stays there crying, but by the time his tears dry up, he feels emotionally drained. He drags himself to his feet painfully, and makes his way out of the Citadel slowly. His friends are standing in the middle of the plaza, their backs to him, watching the dawning of the first sunrise for them in ten years.

"Hey," he says as he approaches them.

Prompto whirls around, his eyes widening when he sees Noct standing there. "Noct!" he cries, tackling him in a tight hug as he begins to cry. "You're alive... Oh Gods you're alive..." Noct hadn't thought he'd have any tears left to cry, but he feels fresh ones begin to spill over at the desperate relief in Prompto's voice.

"Knew you'd pull through," Gladio says gruffly, clapping a hand to his shoulder. Ignis comes to his other side, resting a gentle hand on his back. It's over the old scars from the Marilith, but for once Noct doesn't mind. He's just glad that Ignis is even able to touch him, that he's still here to _be_ touched.

"I'm proud of you, Noct," Ignis says quietly.

"Thanks, guys," Noct says. Prompto lets go of him then, and they fall quiet, watching as the sun rises over Insomnia, its warm light spreading throughout the city and chasing away the shadows from even the darkest of corners. It's a truly majestic sight, and Noct's not surprised to see Gladio and Ignis start to cry as well, silent tears snaking down their faces. It gives him a pang of sorrow, that Ignis isn't actually able to see it properly—but he knows Ignis can at least sense the change in light, and that will have to be good enough.

"What now?" Prompto asks some time later, after the sun's risen high, the sky now a brilliant blue blanketing the city.

Noct shrugs. "Now we rebuild Insomnia, and make it the great city it once was before."

"That's gonna be a lot of work," Gladio cautions him.

"Yeah," Noct agrees. He glances around the city, a fond smile crossing his lips as his eyes alight on all the old, familiar places, memories of better times playing out in his mind. "But it'll be worth it. We're finally home. That's all we really need."

"Indeed," Ignis says, his voice soft. "We'll be with you every step of the way... Your Majesty."

Noct's smile widens at the title. Growing up, and after the fall of Insomnia, he couldn't imagine ever liking the sound of that particular title—it was his dad's title, plain and simple. But here, in this moment, from Ignis... it feels right. It was a difficult journey, long and painful, but he fought through it all to the end. He's kept his promise and reclaimed his rightful throne. At last, he's truly the king.

* * *

Sappy endings ftw? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

I hope no one's too upset with the timeskip. There were a few more things I could have done during the time I skipped, such as all the stuff between Gladio and Noct in (game) chapter 10, but the majority of it was meant to stay canon, which would have meant rehashing it for the fic, and that would have definitely been boring for me to write and you to read, so skipping to where I did felt like the best option. I waffled over the decision for quite awhile though. I also had to rewatch most parts of the last game chapters in order to write this chapter... I bawled like a baby. Multiple times. I still can't even with this game. Too many feels, it hurts me.

Also, you may or may not have noticed the last couple of chapters that this fic now says "Part 1 of the Here's to the Fall series" at the end of it... And yes, this means what you think it means. I am currently 17K words into a sequel. I'm not sure when I'll start posting it, because I haven't edited any of those 17K words yet, nor have I fully finished the outline. I know it won't be at least until after American Thanksgiving, since I am American and I will be out of town most of the coming week. It may not be until early December, I'd like to have the outline done before I start posting, plus I've got nanowrimo to finish and the end of my college semester coming up (totally in order of priority, there).

At any rate... just know that the sequel will be possibly the most self-indulgent angst fest ever as Noct copes badly with the aftermath of everything, and somehow falls into a relationship with Ignis along the way. Because none of you saw _that_ coming ;D It'll be titled _Under Grey Skies_ , if anyone actually wants to read it XD

Thank you all for reading! Comments are always appreciated and adored! Even if you're reading this five years into the future, or something. I am probably still around and will reply, unless I'm dead (but since I'm currently only 31, I hope not). And even if I _am_ dead, there's a good chance my ghost will be haunting AO3.


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